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Dont Let Jerks Get the Best of You: Advice for Dealing with Difficult People [Paperback]

Paul Meier
3.6 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (9 customer reviews)
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Book Description

March 2 1995
Dr. Paul Meier takes a look at how selfish humans are. Through light hearted episodes, Dr. Meier sheds light on how individuals act as jerks, how to become aware of manipulation, and identifying our own jerk tendencies. Dont Let Jerks Get the Best of You! provides laughs while at the same time showing ways to take control of our lives and build relationships with confidence, trust, and joy.

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About the Author

Paul Meier, M.D. is a psychiatrist and founder of the national chain of Meier Clinics as well as best-selling author or co-author of more than eighty books. He holds five degrees in the fields of medicine, psychiatry, and theology. Happily married, he has six children and two grandchildren.

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First Sentence
I felt a little like Rodney Dangerfield ("I can't get no respect") when an editor from the Thomas Nelson Publishing Company called and said: "Remember our conversation about new book projects at dinner the other night? Read the first page
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Customer Reviews

Most helpful customer reviews
1.0 out of 5 stars Awful July 11 2004
If you're the choir, I don't suppose you'd mind being preached to. But this is not a book for the real world or for real people. The author's advice basically consisted of pray real hard and read your Bible more. I found the book to be useless and I didn't appreciate being lectured about how I need to be more religious. Waste of time. Waste of money.
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By A Customer
While I think this book has a lot of good information in it, it is so full of overt Christianity that it really should be labeled as such. If I had known this beforehand, I would not have bought this book as I feel it really detracts from the actual useful information. There are many self-help books out there that mention God but that make it easy to apply to any faith or belief, or fairly easy to ignore if you have no belief. This is not one of those. There was just way too much talk about the "Holy Spirit pushing up repressed thoughts" etc.
Meier also includes lists of characteristics to help you identify First-, Second-, and Nth-Degree Jerks. Some of the characteristics he lists however do not necessarily make someone a jerk. Maybe by Christian standards, but not by most people I know. Meier presents his own Christian beliefs as if they were scientific fact. For instance, enjoying even mildly erotic literature or films is considered a sign of a "Second-Degree Jerk".
Meier also talks about defense mechanisms. One of the defense mechanisms he talks about is what he calls "Phariseeism", which he defines as "Individuals think themselves better than others because of what they do or don't do. They become increasingly self-righteous, and they scrupulously adhere to a list of philosophical or religious rules or some other set of standards, all with the goal of avoiding becoming aware of their own faults, failures, and depravities." It seems to me that Meier has not yet gotten over his own Phraseeism, although he claims he has. At the end of his chapter on defense mechanisms, he describes differences between Freud's and Heinroth's psychiatric theories, asserting that Heinroth got it right, and that Freud was excessively anti-religion and missed the point.
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5.0 out of 5 stars This is a great read and very helpful June 10 2003
By Gail
I have read several of Dr. Meier's books and this is one of the best. It is an easy read and very funny in the right doses. I had a real jerk as a father-in-law and a bigger jerk for a husband. I wanted to try and understand why they acted the way they did. This book was very helpful in allowing me to be at ease with their behavior, knowing when I was acting in a co-dependent manner, and to know that their behavior was not going to change. I could recommned any book written by Dr. Meier and Dr. Minirth. They have written several books together. I could also highly recommend Restoring Margin to Overloaded Lives by Richard A. Swenson,M.D. If you buy this one get the workbook to go with it.
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2.0 out of 5 stars This author's a real jerk expert Jan. 2 2003
By A Customer
Dr. Paul Meier is the co-host of the nationally syndicated radio show "New Life Clinic" and has written many books. His personality on the radio is condescending and now I have discovered why--he's a jerk. At least he admits that he used to be. And he has written the book to prove it, entitled "Don't Let the Jerks Get the Best of You."
The idea for this book is great--dealing with the jerks you come in contact with. But during the reading of the book I discovered two things: first, he is really trying to get at the jerk within YOU (the reader), not in others. That's fine and he certainly convinced me that I'm a jerk at the highest level, but it didn't do much other than make me feel bad that I'm a jerk. It didn't help me much in dealing with others.
Second, he proves himself to be the utmost jerk through his constant claiming that he's NOT a jerk anymore! He gives three "levels" of being a jerk (everyone falls into one of the three categories), and of course he claims that he may have been level two at one point but now he is the lowest-level jerk. He even calls himself a "good guy" who "doesn't mean to do wrong." So when he mistreats his wife or kids or patients, he excuses it away as being meaningless since he doesn't intend on hurting them. Can't he see that INTENT may have nothing to do with it? A person who backs their car into your car may not "mean" to do it, but that is not an excuse! They did wrong, must take personal responsibility for it, learn to drive better, etc. Intent doesn't deal with consequences.
He then goes on to claim he has some "weaknesses"-- such as the fact that he like to pay for others meals or that he likes to spend all the money he makes on others! Wow--what weaknesses!
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By A Customer
The author speaks of "Dopamine Overload" and psychosis that will last forever if not resolved in six months, as well as 'running out of Seratonin'; this led a counselor friend of mine to wonder, 'is he making this stuff up, or what?"....an okay book otherwise, but a lot of stuff presented as fact that is just plain theory. (and poor theory at that).
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