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Don't Shoot! I'm Just the Avon Lady!
 
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Don't Shoot! I'm Just the Avon Lady! [Kindle Edition]

Birdie Jaworski

Print List Price: CDN$ 14.78
Kindle Price: CDN$ 3.99 includes free international wireless delivery via Amazon Whispernet
You Save: CDN$ 10.79 (73%)

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Product Description

Product Description

For Birdie Jaworski, life as an Avon Lady was a bittersweet mix of embarking on gossip-worthy adventures, searching for Mr. Right, and making emergency lotion requests in the middle of the night... while managing as a single parent.

Birdie hawks Avon at a strip club, a bowling alley on Men's League Night, and of course door-to-door. She meets customers who answer the door naked, who want to buy wrinkle cream for their pet monkey, or who are harboring dark - and funny - secrets. She even sells Avon to celebrities who want to keep their zits a secret!

The book reveals a surprising and touching account of her personal life when Catholic Charities calls her and tells her the daughter she gave up for adoption is now an adult and wants to meet her. This book follows Birdie's journey during one summer while she decides whether to meet her daughter while selling Avon cosmetics door-to-door. A funny and beautifully touching read.

Birdie's stories have appeared in many online and print journals as well as on National Public Radio. Her blog on which this memoir is based, has been featured in the New York Times, Time Magazine, the Wall Street Journal, and Positive Thinking magazine.

Product Details

  • Format: Kindle Edition
  • File Size: 896 KB
  • Print Length: 250 pages
  • Page Numbers Source ISBN: 1440464863
  • Publisher: Menendez Publishing (Dec 6 2007)
  • Sold by: Amazon Digital Services, Inc.
  • Language: English
  • ASIN: B0011E486G
  • Text-to-Speech: Enabled
  • X-Ray:
  • Word Wise: Not Enabled
  • Amazon Bestsellers Rank: #343,157 Paid in Kindle Store (See Top 100 Paid in Kindle Store)
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Customer Reviews

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Most Helpful Customer Reviews on Amazon.com (beta)
Amazon.com: 3.7 out of 5 stars  62 reviews
13 of 13 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars HILARIOUS!! Nov. 30 2008
By Todd Hagopian - Published on Amazon.com
Format:Paperback
I have not laughed this loud, while reading a book, in years! Very funny accounts of this woman's tales of trying to sell Avon products in hilarious ways.

I am a businessman, but this book was referred to me by an Avon lady who just could not stop telling me funny stories from it. I figured I would read it and see what happened...It was great! I enjoyed every minute.

I would definitely recommend this book to anyone who is in sales, or anyone who enjoys funny books! Have fun!
12 of 12 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars I laughed so hard! Dec 3 2008
By Kenny Parham - Published on Amazon.com
Format:Paperback
How absolutely hilarious! Who knew that selling Avon could provide for such gut-busting adventures? I generally do not read comedic-type books-- I'm more of a serious person by nature. But after reading a couple of excerpts from this book, I had to have it. The author's description of people and events is so vivid, so completely funny, that I felt like I was right there with her, such as during the chapter entitled: Below the belt belongs to Turkey!. And I loved the story of the "Bunion Lady". I won't say anymore, so as not to give anything away. There is also a touching, sensitive side to this book, wherein the author details how her past revisits her. But I can't stress how incredibly funny this book is, from beginning to end. If you love to laugh, then this is a must-read.
5 of 5 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars You'll Laugh, You'll Cry! Dec 7 2008
By Carroll McNeill - Published on Amazon.com
Format:Paperback|Verified Purchase
You'll laugh, you'll cry -- I guarantee you'll want to hug the author! I bought this book first in hardback and savored every single page. Am ordering a bunch more copies in paperback to give as holiday gifts to friends who are sure to enjoy this poignant mix of real-life hardship and hilarity. I have never before read an author so able to convey unquenchable optimism and zest for life on every page as Ms. Jaworski. Without a doubt this is a "stay up late to finish and then call a friend to say 'You have to read this!' book. But you'd better buy two if you plan to share because you won't want to give your own copy away!
4 of 4 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars This Is SO FUNNY Jan. 28 2012
By RJ Parker - Published on Amazon.com
Format:Kindle Edition
DON'T SHOOT! I'M JUST THE AVON LADY! is HILARIOUS! A woman is trying to sell Avon products and encounters real life situations that anyone in sales can relate to. The book is so well written and funny...very memorable. I totally recommend this book to anyone who wants a good laugh. Brilliant Read. Still LMAO....
3 of 3 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars Don't shoot - how fun. Jan. 7 2012
By R. A. Brittain - Published on Amazon.com
Format:Kindle Edition|Verified Purchase
I don't normally read author's memoirs, but I became curious about Birdie. Birdie's book "Don't Shoot! I'm Just the Avon Lady!" is a great read and put together so well that it was like reading a story rather than her memoirs. And novel it is. She takes you from present to later in time memories and then brings you back to the present. Granted, some of her memoirs were sad, but most of them cause me to chuckle out loud which is a rarity for me. Birdie's spunk and determination has led her into situations that many of us will never experience. For instance, how many of us have opened their door, only to find a pig at the doorstep with a note telling her that the pig's name was Frankie. Frankie became in indoor pet pig and I just assume he was potty trained.

One of my favorites was when she went on an Avon call with a request for lotion. To Birdie's surprise, it was to be used on a pet monkey. "... she led him across the kitchen. ... jumped into my lap. He put long arms around my neck.. and monkey drool started to roll down..."

Another was Birdie taking Avon shampoo to a new client, only to find herself shampooing a bald lady's cat.

Oh, and the Avon foam she sprayed on a rat that was about to attack her.

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