Product Description
The Dread Crew: Pirates of the Backwoods contains things disgusting, rude, repulsive and crush-like in nature. It also includes the most gigantic party ever seen, a rampaging woodship, random explosions, a prison, an escape, inventions, blackberry sploosh and many, many secrets as well as unexplained stinks. This book is recommended for antsy boys who long for glory, for spritely girls inclined to reach out for adventure, and for good-humoured grown-ups who like the smack of limburger and jalapeno calzones with a dash of junebug pepper. This book is not recommended for genteel folk with fears of heights, uncontrolled speed, stink-clouds, thievery, thuggery and general recklessness. STATEMENTS OF STORY AS COLLECTED BY BARSS CORNER R.C.M.P. DETACHMENT, NEW GERMANY, NOVA SCOTIA. CONCLUDES FORMAL INVESTIGATION INTO THE MATTER OF SEASONAL UNEXPLAINED HOOLIGANISM. ERIC 'THE TRACKER' STEWART, PIRATE HUNTER. What a mess. See, wherever they go, the pirates chew up the forest, all mindless crashing with that giant woodship. All they care about is junk and they'll crush anything that gets in the way. But I was just as blind to it as you until one day I tripped over a clue. And then another. What else was there to do? I became a pirate hunter. I tracked them like a thunderstorm. I collected evidence and found their trail. Then they disappeared. Then I met the weirdest girl in the world. Turns out she was their scout. Then together we stole their ship. By the time you get to the end you see it’s really just the beginning. MISSY BULLSEYE. ('THE GIRL') He’s right. I am the weirdest girl in the world. That’s why I run with pirates. If it weren’t for me, they’d be a heap o’ splinters twice a week. GRAMPA 'THE JACKAL' JOE. I knew for certain there was no such thing as pirates in the woods. Then, well, they attacked. And so there was indeed such a thing. Then they took me on for their own. In actual fact it was me what took them on, but Captain might argue on that point. Since then it’s been all maggot and devil’s club sandwiches, and rat’s tails in my tea. But my word, can they ever whoop. HECTOR 'THE WRECKER' GRISTLE, CAPTAIN OF CALAMITY, LEADER, JUNK-HUNTING DREAD CREW. (crosses arms over chest) (glares menacingly) (says nothing) (belches)
About the Author
Kate Inglis is a writer, photographer, and mother of two boys. Although this is her first novel, she has been writing professionally for more than ten years—and since 2004 on her blog (sweetsalty.com), which has earned widespread recognition and a readership of thousands. Kate lives on the edge of a meat-grinder sea in Nova Scotia, where she was born.
