Emotional Vampires: Dealing With People Who Drain You Dry: Amazon.ca: Albert Bernstein: Books

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Clinical psychologist and business consultant Albert Bernstein's Emotional Vampires: Dealing with People Who Drain You Dry is a humorous yet serious look at our interactions with people who seem to sap our energy. Through anecdotes, Bernstein makes the various categories of vampires distinctive and recognizable (Anti-Social, Histrionic, Narcissistic, Obssessive-Compulsive and Paranoid) and offers practical guidance for how readers can deal with them effectively (Understanding Emotional Vampires' immaturity is your ultimate weapon).

Book Description

Best-selling author Albert J. Bernstein helped thousands of people deal with the dangerously stupid at work in Dinosaur Brains. In Emotional Vampires he goes even further to protect unsuspecting mortals from more devious and harmful creatures vampires ready to bite, suck, and kill the emotional and psychological wellbeing of their victims. Like the fabled demons, these vampires come in many shapes: -The living dead who think their ¿talents¿ place them above the laws of nature -Lords of darkness with huge egos and tiny consciences -Scary monsters who use their tempers in the same way terrorists use bombs -Blood-suckers who think others were created for their convenience Emotional Vampires tells readers how to spot a vampire in their lives, which defense strategies to employ to prevent one from striking, and what to do if and when they find themselves under attack.

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Inside This Book (Learn More)

First Sentence
Vampires stalk you, even as we speak. Read the first page

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narcissism(6)

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Customer Reviews

20 Reviews

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Average Customer Review

4.1 out of 5 stars (20 customer reviews)

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11 of 11 people found the following review helpful

5.0 out of 5 stars humor and clarity work together, Nov 30 2003

By

g-the-amateur "g-the-amateur" (United States) - See all my reviews

This review is from: Emotional Vampires: Dealing With People Who Drain You Dry (Hardcover)

Dr. Albert Bernstein's book Emotional Vampires gives strategies for managing these personality types. Sometimes it's not practical to run away. It might mean living in a very small world if you are on the lookout to avoid these traits in people. Everyone has these traits to some degree on a continuum, from mild to extreme. The main tool is knowing yourself, esp. in regards to these behaviors. I'm re-reading it slowly.

A second benefit is trying to not inflict pain on others by MY personality.

He describes what it's like inside their minds. In extremes, the best thing he says MAY be to avoid them, especially if you're not willing to manage them in your life. They may represent either gifted and talented people or cranks, depending on the person or situation. He describes the usual reactions people use to deal with them, and why that doesn't work.

He offers a BALANCED viewpoint that seems to carry credibility.

Bernstein had definite strategies for managing my paranoid, jealous ex-girlfriend that would have worked, had I known and not tried to address her fears for her.

I see that I have always been attracted to extreme (and immature) personalities in friendships, and am one myself, though I think I have my own stuff completely repaired and managed by now. (yeah, right)

This book addresses some confusion about people that has baffled me forever. I laughed out loud several times.

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1 of 1 people found the following review helpful

1.0 out of 5 stars Insulting, Ignorant, and Arrogant, Sep 5 2011

By

Lilly Briar (Canada) - See all my reviews

This review is from: Emotional Vampires: Dealing With People Who Drain You Dry (Paperback)

The only way I was able to gain insight from this book is by taking it with a grain of salt. I started becoming sceptical of the claims in this book when I read the following statement on page 97:

"Histrionic vampires invented sexual harassment, both doing it and suing for it."

This is unbelievably offensive to anyone who has ever been sexually harassed, which is considered a form of abuse. This claim is similar to the myth that victims of rape were "asking for it."

Apart from making such offensive statements, the author also insults various professions. For example, in the chapter on Narcissism, he states on page 146-147:

"To begin with, the process is called `creativity' only when it generates ideas that are useful, convenient, and cost-effective. The rest of the time it's called `being weird' or `having a bad attitude' ... Creativity means seeing things differently than other people, and it means believing that your vision is better than what's already there. Nothing could be more insensitive, irreverent, annoying, threatening, and well, Narcissistic."

To Albert J. Bernstein, everyone in the creative professions such as artists, inventors, and writers are narcissists. Not only is his definition of creativity full of errors - for example, lots of talented, creative people such as Agatha Christie and Vincent Van Gogh actually think their work isn't any good - but the Narcissists I've known were the LEAST creative people in the world! They spent more time trying to project an image that society would accept and admire, judging the quality of things by the standards of society, and criticizing anything unique and creative than actually doing or developing anything creative.

If I had to guess, I would say that this author is either jealous of people in the professions he criticises, or deeply misunderstands them and has no desire to truly understand them, and thus feels the need to "diagnose" them. Two books that are far more helpful are for dealing with Narcissists are "The Wizard of Oz And Other Narcissists" and "The Object of My Affection Is In My Reflection." I would recommend those books far more than "Emotional Vampires."

Other than the occasional advice on how to respond to "emotional vampires," I think the best thing about this book is the illustrations - I would like to see more of the artist's work, but oddly I cannot find the name of the illustrator anywhere in the book. Could this be due to Dr. Albert J. Bernstein's obvious dislike of creative people?

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9 of 9 people found the following review helpful

5.0 out of 5 stars Best resource to deal with difficult people, Oct 1 2001

By A Customer

This review is from: Emotional Vampires: Dealing With People Who Drain You Dry (Hardcover)

Normally, you would like to deal with people nicely, kindly and sometimes go out of the way to make others comfortable. It works with most people. However, with some people you always come out of a transaction feeling cheated and violated. This is a book to deal with such people.

A wonderful book, that provides you solid insight into the behavior of "vampires" those self-seeking, immature individuals. Has solid advise and some life guiding principles like - Do not attempt to change people, attempt to change their behaviour.

If I was forced to hold onto only 3 books in my library, this one would be among them. A persons education is incomplete without reading this book. This advice works! The best part is that you regain your peace of mind.

Thanks a million Albert Bernstein for encapsulating a lifetime's experience into a small and easy to read book.

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Most recent customer reviews

2.0 out of 5 stars Not quite what I expected
As I read through this book I forgot who the author was referring to, real vampires or people...?
It's not the helpful book I expected, it was more of a "those vampires you... Read more

Published on Nov 14 2009 by Shades

5.0 out of 5 stars The Grand Master of Disorder Speaks.
Gee, I work with two vampire personalities but I have to tell you that this book by Bernstein has to be, by far, the finest non-technical description of personality disorders that... Read more