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Emotional Vampires: Dealing With People Who Drain You Dry Paperback – Mar 22 2002


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Product Details

  • Paperback: 256 pages
  • Publisher: McGraw-Hill; 1 edition (March 22 2002)
  • Language: English
  • ISBN-10: 0071381678
  • ISBN-13: 978-0071381673
  • Product Dimensions: 15.2 x 1.5 x 22.9 cm
  • Shipping Weight: 363 g
  • Average Customer Review: 4.1 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (20 customer reviews)
  • Amazon Bestsellers Rank: #254,668 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)
  • See Complete Table of Contents

Product Description

Review

Clinical psychologist and business consultant Albert Bernstein's Emotional Vampires: Dealing with People Who Drain You Dry is a humorous yet serious look at our interactions with people who seem to sap our energy. Through anecdotes, Bernstein makes the various categories of vampires distinctive and recognizable (Anti-Social, Histrionic, Narcissistic, Obssessive-Compulsive and Paranoid) and offers practical guidance for how readers can deal with them effectively (Understanding Emotional Vampires' immaturity is your ultimate weapon). --This text refers to an out of print or unavailable edition of this title.

From the Back Cover

"If I'd had a copy of this book when I started therapy, I might have saved myself a lot of time and money. Bernstein provides a field guide to the various types of Emotional Vampires and advises readers how to protect themselves from being victims of these predatory personalities."­­Diane White, The Boston Globe

Emotional Vampires: They're out there . . . masquerading as ordinary people. They may lurk in your office, your family, your circle of friends; perhaps they even share your bed. Chances are, you know all too many of them. Bright, talented, and charismatic, they win your trust, your confidence, and your affection­­then drain you of your emotional energy. But take heart as you walk through the darkness, it doesn't have to be that way­­the more you know about vampires, the less power they have over you.

Here Dr. Albert J. Bernstein, vampire-slayer and author of the best-selling Dinosaur Brains and Neanderthals at Work, reveals the secrets that will protect you once and for all. Detailing a whole range of personality types and human responses, Bernstein shows you how to spot the "vampires" in your life: self-serving Narcissists, hedonistic Antisocials, exhausting Paranoids, or over-the-top Histrionic drama queens. And, with valuable advice, psychological perspective, and much-needed humor, he gives you a range of defense strategies that are guaranteed to keep the blood-sucking creatures of darkness from draining you dry.

By the end of Emotional Vampires, you'll be armed with superior knowledge, a treasure chest of vampire-slaying tools, and all the confidence you need to take on the most draining people in your life and win without shedding the first drop of blood.


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Customer Reviews

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11 of 11 people found the following review helpful By g-the-amateur on Nov. 30 2003
Format: Hardcover
Dr. Albert Bernstein's book Emotional Vampires gives strategies for managing these personality types. Sometimes it's not practical to run away. It might mean living in a very small world if you are on the lookout to avoid these traits in people. Everyone has these traits to some degree on a continuum, from mild to extreme. The main tool is knowing yourself, esp. in regards to these behaviors. I'm re-reading it slowly.
A second benefit is trying to not inflict pain on others by MY personality.
He describes what it's like inside their minds. In extremes, the best thing he says MAY be to avoid them, especially if you're not willing to manage them in your life. They may represent either gifted and talented people or cranks, depending on the person or situation. He describes the usual reactions people use to deal with them, and why that doesn't work.
He offers a BALANCED viewpoint that seems to carry credibility.
Bernstein had definite strategies for managing my paranoid, jealous ex-girlfriend that would have worked, had I known and not tried to address her fears for her.
I see that I have always been attracted to extreme (and immature) personalities in friendships, and am one myself, though I think I have my own stuff completely repaired and managed by now. (yeah, right)
This book addresses some confusion about people that has baffled me forever. I laughed out loud several times.
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9 of 9 people found the following review helpful By A Customer on Oct. 1 2001
Format: Hardcover
Normally, you would like to deal with people nicely, kindly and sometimes go out of the way to make others comfortable. It works with most people. However, with some people you always come out of a transaction feeling cheated and violated. This is a book to deal with such people.
A wonderful book, that provides you solid insight into the behavior of "vampires" those self-seeking, immature individuals. Has solid advise and some life guiding principles like - Do not attempt to change people, attempt to change their behaviour.
If I was forced to hold onto only 3 books in my library, this one would be among them. A persons education is incomplete without reading this book. This advice works! The best part is that you regain your peace of mind.
Thanks a million Albert Bernstein for encapsulating a lifetime's experience into a small and easy to read book.
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7 of 7 people found the following review helpful By Amazon Customer on July 18 2002
Format: Paperback
I wish I had this book years ago! The book is practical and very easy to read. Although the vampire references are numerous, the point is well taken. Special care is given to clarify that the purpose of the book is not to diagnose, judge or label people. It provides practical techniques for the layman to recognize and deal with people that can literally drain a person. Also, it can be used to recognize traits in our own selves that have the potential to drain others emotionally. In short, Thanks Dr. Berstein!
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3 of 3 people found the following review helpful By Bernard Chapin on April 22 2004
Format: Paperback
Gee, I work with two vampire personalities but I have to tell you that this book by Bernstein has to be, by far, the finest non-technical description of personality disorders that I've ever encountered. It's for both the layman and the psychologist and, best of all, it's self-help. I can't say enough about it. It reads like deja vu for anyone who has ever suffered the attentions of self-promoting, self-worshipping, narcissistic psychopaths. His advice is sound but they're so crazy you can't always use it--yet you will feel better after reading his work.
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3 of 3 people found the following review helpful By Mrs. George on June 22 2001
Format: Hardcover
I love self-help books and this ranks with the best: entertaining, highly accessible, and most surprisingly BASED IN SCIENTIFIC FACT! Without giving the clinical complexities of personality disorders short shrift, Bernstein provides an instant guide to identifying people suffering from them, as well as sound guidelines for understanding and coping with them. Knowing myself how confused and helpless one can feel when trying to deal with these "vampires", I highly recommend this book to anyone. Forewarned is forearmed!
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3 of 3 people found the following review helpful By A Customer on June 11 2001
Format: Hardcover
If I hadn't read this book at the precise moment that I did, I would have quit my job. My boss is THAT obnoxious. The most important thing that helped me transcend my constant annoyance is this: you will NEVER NEVER NEVER be able to change these vampires or make them understand why they are wrong. Or that they are wrong at all, or at fault for anything. This book gives you tips on how to get around people's personality disorders and even work them to your advantage. And the best part is, you'll get out alive!
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2 of 2 people found the following review helpful By joyce howell on Nov. 24 2000
Format: Hardcover
Emotional Vampires teaches you how to protect yourself from people who emotionally and materially drain you for their own gain and at your expense. These "vampires" prey on colleagues, friends, and family. They are especially dangerous because their self-absorption prevents them from seeing that they are harming others, and even makes them think they are helping others. "Vampires" are especially gifted at finding the most vulnerable victims. With Dr. Bernstein's help, these vampires will see you as no easy prey and move on to others. You recognize Emotional Vampires by the emotional aftermath: they "take a lot out of you," they leave you feeling "drained," they "pushed your buttons," they are "high maintenance," etc. Dr. Bernstein is right on the money with "vampire bite" as a metaphorical diagnosis for the real harm these types cause, but beware: the fangs seldom show, and emotional vampires can seem as harmless and ineffectual as Aunt Bea, or as affable as Will Rogers. Each chapter is a recognizance of different "vampire" personality types. I realized I was particularly vulnerable to the "histrionics" who thrive on drama for its own sake. I used Bernstein's techniques on a certain "histrionic" vampire in my life, and now I'm thankfully out of her perpetual soap opera. I urge everybody to buy this book. It's a funny and easy read, but the subject is serious and the insights ring deeply true. Once you have read it you will have the power to protect yourself from a lot of hard times and wasted hours.
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