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Empty Arms: Coping with Miscarriage, Stillbirth and Infant Death [Paperback]

Sherokee Ilse
4.4 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (17 customer reviews)
Price: CDN$ 13.91 & FREE Shipping on orders over CDN$ 25. Details
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Book Description

April 1990 0960945660 978-0960945665 2nd Revised edition
A classic, this book was one of the first to offer support to families after their baby's death and to guide caregivers in their support of these families. With over 250,000 in print, this book touches the hearts of families at the time of their loss and over time as they heal. No matter how, or at what age or gestational age a baby dies, their parents are invited to be supported by Sherokee and her husband David, who themselves have been there. With compassion, guidance and practical suggestions are offered for the decision-making at the time (including why and how one might see, hold, and memorialize one's baby) and over time (such as how to handle such times as anniversaries, holidays, the birth of other babies in the parents close circle.) An excellent bibliography and resource section is included.

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Review

Thank you for your lovely book, Empty Arms, which we were given before our baby was even delivered. -- Debbie Crippen, Bereaved Mother

This book was a tremendous inspiration to my patients. I feel you have done a great service to bereaved parents... -- Stephen Larson, M.D., Ob-Gyn

About the Author

Sherokee Ilse has had many personal experiences with loss which motivated her to reach out to others to aid them in their grief work. She has suffered a miscarriage, full term stillbirth and an ectopic pregnancy along and has two living children. Sherokee helped create a national non-profit organization which she directed for ten years, authored many books including her most popular one, Empty Arms (over 250,000 in print) and has served as a bereavement support professional, a consultant, and international trainer for 18 years.

Inside This Book (Learn More)
First Sentence
If your baby has died, it is natural for you to be unprepared, in shock and to feel a wide range of emotions from disbelief to anger to intense sorrow. Read the first page
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Concordance
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Front Cover | Copyright | Table of Contents | Excerpt | Index | Back Cover
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Customer Reviews

Most helpful customer reviews
5.0 out of 5 stars VERY HELPFUL IN COPING AND RECOVERING Aug. 7 1999
By A Customer
Format:Paperback
MY LITTLE CHRISTOPHER WAS STILLBORN ON JULY 4, 1999. I WAS DEVASTATED. MOST PEOPLE DON'T UNDERSTAND THE EMOTIONS, FEELINGS, HOPELESSNESS OF LOSING AN INFANT. MOST PEOPLE DON'T KNOW HOW TO REACT OR WHAT TO SAY. THEY TRY TO COMFORT YOU IN THEIR OWN BLIND WAY BUT MOSTLY THEY JUST MAKE THINGS WORSE. READING THIS BOOK AND EXPERIENCING HOW OTHER PARENTS FELT AND DEALT WITH THIS HORRIBLE TRAGEDY MADE ME FEEL LIKE I WAS WITH PEOPLE WHO KNEW AND REALLY UNDERSTOOD WHAT IT WAS LIKE. SO MANY THINGS THAT WERE DISCUSSED THAT THESE PARENTS WISHED THEY HAD DONE OR HAD THE OPPORTUNITY TO DO TO REMEMBER/MEMORIALIZE THEIR CHILDREN WERE SO HELPFUL IN MY DECISION MAKING PROCESS AND BURIAL OF MY SON. IT WAS LIKE LEARNING FROM THE REGRETS OF OTHERS. IT DEFINITELY AIDED IN THE HEALING PROCESS. EVERY HOSPITAL SHOULD HAVE A COPY AVAILABLE FOR PARENTS WHO LOSE AN INFANT!
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5.0 out of 5 stars A neccessity when losing an infant child. April 21 1998
Format:Paperback
I have owned this book for seven years, since the loss of my daughter.
It was sent to me by the author when I called her at home and asked for guidance.
It has been THE most comforting book to me... Sherokee offers insight that we are unable to think of at the time of our sorrow.
At the time of the death of my child, I had NO idea anyone else knew what I was going through...But someone does.
There could have been no other author, no other book, that could have given me the strength that I received from this.
At a time when I was so at a loss for words, Ms. Ilse spoke, not only for me, but to me, to tell me I was not alone.
Ms. Ilse gave me the strength through this book, to do what I needed to do, and then take care of myself.
This book was an essential part of my of my healing... I cannot say enough about the book, or the author.
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By A Customer
Format:Paperback
THE HOSPITAL GAVE ME THIS BOOK WHEN WE LEARNED THAT OUR DAUGHTER PROBABLY WOULD NOT SURVIVE LONG AFTER HER BIRTH. WE WERE FACED WITH SAYING GOODBYE BEFORE WE WERE GIVEN THE CHANCE TO SAY HELLO. SHEROKEE GAVE US THINGS TO THINK ABOUT. OUR DAUGHTER WAS STILLBORN AND DUE TO THIS BOOK WE MADE EVERY POSSIBLE DECISION BEFORE WE EVER GOT TO THE HOSPITAL. HER BIRTH AND THEN FUNERAL WERE DIGNIFIED THANKS TO THE SUGGESTIONS FOUND IN THIS BOOK! LATER I GOT PREGNANT AGAIN BUT UNFORTUNATELY MISCARRIED. I GOT THIS BOOK OUT AGAIN AND IT HELPED TREMENDOUSLY. I WILL FOREVER BE GRATEFUL FOR THIS BOOK AND WILL RECOMMEND IT TO ANYONE FACING THE MISCARRIAGE,STILLBIRTH OR NEONATAL DEATH OF THEIR BABY. HAVING THE BOOK WRITTEN BY A WOMAN WHO HAD GONE THROUGH THE SAME THING MADE IT EASIER TO SWALLOW! I DIDN'T FEEL SO ALONE.
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By S. Wood
Format:Paperback
My heart goes out to everyone else who has written a review of this book as well as the countless number who have read it without reviewing it. We lost our son to a cord accident at 20 weeks last July and during the long induced labor process in the hospital I was given many materials to read. This book was among them and stands out in my memory as being the most helpful at that time. We needed the technical info and were not yet ready to start the tough work of emotional healing that lay ahead. It's helpful to think of this book as first aid at the beginning of the crisis while you are in shock and to turn to other, more in-depth emotional reading when you are ready for it.
It was exactly what we needed at the time, and I thank the author, publisher, and the hospital who provided it to us.
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4.0 out of 5 stars Simple format makes it helpful Feb. 2 2002
By A Customer
Format:Paperback
This is a good book if you want something simple. It is in the question, answer format and fairly short. You can easily find what you are looking for without having to search through the other stuff you don't want to think about right now. It would have been extremely helpful right when my son died. It would be good for the hospitals to give out. It didn't have as many stories of other couples (they do help you to feel less alone) as I would have liked, though. There is some advice on how to go on and answers to questions I would not have even thought of, though so I do recommend it. It shouldn't be the only book you buy on loss, but if you can afford more than one, get this one.
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5.0 out of 5 stars I have recommended this book to so many families! Sept. 27 2000
Format:Paperback
I also cannot say enough about this book. When my twins died, I read so many books, trying to find something that might help ease my pain and help me to deal with what had happened. This book was the answer. It was the only book that addressed all the questions I had, talked about every feeling I was experiencing and spoke not only about miscarriage and stillbirths, but also about infant death which none of the other books I read really discussed. It was the only book that helped to lift the pain off my heart and some of the weight off my shoulders. I donated a copy to our local chapter of SHARE and I received numerous thanks from the families trying to cope with their grief.
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5.0 out of 5 stars when no one else understood Dec 27 2001
By A Customer
Format:Paperback
Sherokee Isle wrote this wonderful book that touches on all that I went through. I have recommended it to many friends with similar experiences and it has helped them cope with the loss of their little Angels too. I even wrote to her (her address is in tha back of the book) to thank her for helping me, and she sent a hand written personl note back to me telling me how sorry she was for my loss. There are many things she suggests doing to help you through this hard time. She validates your feelings and discusses her personal stories. She is a voice of experience.
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Most recent customer reviews
4.0 out of 5 stars ****
The book was in very good condition.

Although it is an excellent resource, it really needs to be at your fingertips when such a tragedy arrives. Read more
Published 15 months ago by M. LeSage
4.0 out of 5 stars A Helpful Start
I was given this book by the nurse at the hospital shortly after delivering my full term daughter, who was stillborn Christmas Eve in 1989. Read more
Published on Dec 19 2002
5.0 out of 5 stars Still Remember
I lost a son 9 years ago and now friends of mine have lost twins. I received a few books after my loss but this is the book that helped me the most and now I am ordering the book... Read more
Published on May 2 2001 by Kimberly Anderson
2.0 out of 5 stars Empty Arms
I read this book about 5 weeks after my daughter was stillborn on 2/12/01 at 39 weeks. It was very technical and dealt with the decisions that need to be made in the hospital or... Read more
Published on March 28 2001
5.0 out of 5 stars Great book
I was given this book when I lost my son. I read this book over and over again. It really allowed me to share my feelings concerning his death by knowing I wasn't alone. Read more
Published on Nov. 21 2000
3.0 out of 5 stars Good Information
This book was helpful in understanding medical terms and stillbirth. It seemed to lack in emotional depth, but it was still good.
Published on Feb. 24 2000
5.0 out of 5 stars Very informative and supportive.
This book has it all. It covers real emotions from someone that's "been there." It helped me to understand and accept my own feelings. Read more
Published on Nov. 9 1999 by ANGIE STORZ (sastorz@iquest.com)
5.0 out of 5 stars Excellent reading for anyone who's suffered such a tragedy.
I recently purchased this book after suffering the stillbirth of my daughter Emily Rose. Like the author, I, too, had previous miscarriages so the death of my daughter was even... Read more
Published on April 17 1999 by "catty_64024"
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