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1.0 out of 5 stars
Some kinda awful, Jun 15 2004
By A Customer
This review is from: Even Cowgirls Get the Blues (VHS Tape)
I can't believe the actors who lent their talent to this no-talent film.
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1.0 out of 5 stars
An abomination, disappointment, and travesty, Mar 5 2004
This review is from: Even Cowgirls Get the Blues (VHS Tape)
I was terribly excited when I learned of the film version of the first Tom Robbins novel I read. Learning of Gus Van Sant, Uma Thurman, Keanu Reeves, John Hurt, and even Rain Pheonix excited me even more. However, I was severly let down. This is, without question, the worst movie I have yet to see. As tavision so eloquently put it, "It is so bad, it isn't even good for being bad." The plot is an abbreviation of the novel, to say the least. Granted, some cuts are to be expected, but some characters were reduced to such a shred of their literary counterparts it raises the question why Van Sant included them at all. The character of Dr. Robbins is completely absent, and the brevity with which the Chink is represented reduces him to a fortune-spewing, mountainman horndog. Pheonix is unbearable as Bonanza Jellybean. Her monotonous tones, lack of presence, and persistent lack of any cuteness destroy what could have been an excellent role. The character of Dolores Del Ruby is also disappointing; she lacks the wildness and distinction from the other cowgirls that the novel provides. This is despite an annoying soliloquoy directly to the camera and all too abundant whip-cracking. Uma Thurman would be the film's saving grace, but salvaging anything from this bastardization is akin to making sno-cones in hell. Hurt's Countess is fair, but again, the rest of the film drags it down. The voice-over by Robbins isn't spectacular, but his prose does carry some charm over. At the end of the film, if K.D. Lang's original soundtrack hasn't been associated with the most painful cinematic experience of your couch's life, you are "treated" to a music video of the most played song in the movie, K.D. Lang's "Movement." Do yourself a favor and spend the time reading some Robbins or praying if he attempts a film again he finds a director who can do his work justice.
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9 of 10 people found the following review helpful
4.0 out of 5 stars
Van Sant's Bizarre Vision of the Plight of the Outsider, Jun 16 1999
By A Customer - Published on Amazon.com
This review is from: Even Cowgirls Get the Blues (VHS Tape)
Gus Van Sant explores deeper into his favorite theme of the plight of the outsider in this strange film.Not perfect, but it is a faithful adaptation of Robbins' classic novel.Some scenes tend to drag, but the overall effect of the film is mesmerising. Sissy Hankshaw joins Van Sant's gallery of outsiders alongside Bob,Mike,Suzanne Stone,Will Hunting and Norman Bates. Lots of cool movie star cameos and great acting from Uma Thurman and Rain Phoenix while Lorraine Bracco, John Hurt and Angie Dickinson camp it up.
8 of 10 people found the following review helpful
1.0 out of 5 stars
One of the worst movies ever, July 4 2008
By Nagronsky "Nagronsky" - Published on Amazon.com
This review is from: Even Cowgirls Get the Blues (DVD)
Uma Thurman is not a very good actress. She's tall, & reasonably attractive, & sometimes blonde, but she was the poster-girl for the Uber-hip set in the late 80's/early 90's so for that set, she was a perfect choice as Sissy Hankshaw. Having read & loved this book, I knew she was not a good choice, and she was subsequently was named Worst Actress of 1993 for her terrible attempt to portray Cissy. Likewise, Rain aka Rain- bow aka Rain Phoenix was also miscast, as well as not being talented enough to pull off the role of Boss Cowgirl Bonanza Jellybean. She seemed to be attempting to read off a Teleprompter, or maybe she should have been. Did I detect her lips moving before she attempted to deliver her lines? The reason she was not named Worst Actress of 1993 was that to win that award, she had to be an actress, which she clearly is not. I've seen better acting on an X-rated channel. Angie Dickinson, that 60's-70's retread hearthrob of teenage males was nearly as bad as Phoenix & Thurman, but she had an excuse, she hadn't worked for many years, & was critically hungover. At least she seemed that way. That's the bad news. The good news is, the rest of the cast was a hoot! Batting leadoff, the always weird & wonderful Carol Kane & Buck Henry(why don't those two have children?? What a great idea), John Hurt in drag, Crispin Glover, Pat Morita(as Noryuki)as The Chink("Ha Ha Ho Ho and Hee Hee!!"), Sean Young looking so sexy I almost forgot about her psychotic meltdown over James Woods, Keanu Reeves was entirely adequate as Julian Gitchee, but any one of a number of Native American, Canadian, or Ecuadoran actors would have been a better choice, such as the lovely & talented Gary Farmer. Two other bones to pick: 1) Tom Robbins' favorite Native American tribe, is not pronounced See-Wash, but Sigh-wash and B) Why was the locale moved from the Dakotas to Deschutes County, Oregon? Stupid idea. I really loved Pat Morita & John Hurt, but their performances are not enough to tempt me to watch this terrible movie again. Like an earlier reviewer, anger is my strongest emotion at this attempt to adapt a really good book.
7 of 9 people found the following review helpful
1.0 out of 5 stars
YIPES!!, May 10 2001
By Carra R Lane - Published on Amazon.com
This review is from: Even Cowgirls Get the Blues (VHS Tape)
Certainly one of the dozen or so worst movies ever released in any form, featuring a bizarrely abominable performance by Rain Joan of Arc Phoenix (River's sister, inevitably), as Bonanza Jellybean plus inconceivably awful voiceover narration by Tom Robbins, the author of the novel, which had/retains its peculiar sweet/loopy charms.
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