57 of 63 people found the following review helpful
- Published on Amazon.com
I'm a man, but picked this book up while browsing because of the catchy title. This is a very funny book. I haven't finished it yet. I read about half of it in an airport book store while waiting for my plane. I plan to pick up a copy and finish it. I was laughing out loud the whole time I was reading it. I think he's right on about the sex part, but I did have a couple of issues with the book. He says something about how men picture themselves having sex with all women they find attractive. Then he stresses the ALL women part, by listing examples of women you might hope this doesn't apply to, but does. In that list he includes "...even women we're related to..." I would have to part ways with my astute brother on this point. I'm sure he didn't mean close relatives like siblings, children, etc, but it creeped me out just seeing that in writing.
I think he should have been more clear about that point. The story he tells of how men think is probably scary enough to women reading the book. I worry that since he's revealing so many things that are probably surprises to most women, that leaving something like this so unclear could lead women to think that "normal" men actually look at their close relatives sexually. I can tell you, at least for this man, and I know for most normal men, that this is definitely not the case. I suppose you could argue that this is just socialization, and that in the absence of societal rules against it, sex between close relatives would happen more often than it does. But it wouldn't surprise me if we're wired to avoid sex with close relatives. I'm sure the anthropologists know which one it is, but in the end it really doesn't matter. Normal men don't have sex with their relatives, and they don't look at them sexually, AT ALL.
I had one other gripe with the book. He talks about communication styles, and says that men aren't really interested in talking, other than as a means of exchanging information. I think this perpetuates a caricature of men as unemotional, non-communicative simpletons. And while I've had the pleasure of sharing a beer or two with many fine fellows who fit that description, I would respectfully disagree with the author. Many men, myself included, enjoy intelligent conversation, and emotional conversation, that has nothing to do with exchanging information. Intelligent, articulate women are very sexy, and intelligent men crave interaction with that type of woman.
I would strongly encourage women to buy and read this book despite the criticisms above. Men really are wired to be bad boys, and women are repeatedly hurt when they discover this all over again. But they hold on to the hope that they'll find a man who is different. The bad news is that this man doesn't exist, and that's the central point of this book. That's probably disturbing news for most women, but I think it's really critical that women understand this. We can be trained to behave ourselves, but we're bad boys at our core, we think bad thoughts, and the better you understand that, the less disappointed you'll be in us, and the happier you'll be in your life.
108 of 129 people found the following review helpful
- Published on Amazon.com
In this book, the author claims all men view woman as sex objects. Therefore, any displays of warmth and sensitivity are just tricks to bed a woman as quickly as possible. If women think otherwise, they are dupes.
However, after making these claims, I think it must've dawned on the author that if he kept portraying men as total scumbags, then women won't want to have sex with one again. Therefore, every now and then, he'll inject a redeeming quality about men...but in so doing, ends up contradicting himself.
For example, earlier in the book, he says the only reason men write poetry is because women love that mushy stuff and this makes them easier prey to lure into bed....but then later says the fact that men write poetry proves how deeply sensitive they really are.
So which is it -- are they using poetry as a ploy to lure women into bed or as a means to describe sincere emotions?
Another example is when he says men are simple, honest creatures and, therefore, what they say to a woman should be believed....except, of course, when they're trying to get a woman into bed because then they'll lie through their teeth. And except when they say "I'll call you" because they're just saying that to not hurt your feelings...but other than that, men are as honest as honest can be.
There is "hope", according to the author, that a man can really love a woman. That hope comes in the form of sex.
You see, before a man has sex with a woman, he objectifies her and has no interest in relating to her as a human being with feelings...however, once he has sex with her -- through the magic of sex -- he somehow grows a conscience and decides from now on, he's going to relate to her on a human level.
Well, actually, first he scores how well she performed during sex and if she got a high score, THEN he wants to have a meaningful relationship with her. So to help women achieve this type of meaningful relationship, the author advises women to (1) dress as slutty as possible so a man knows she's eager for sex and to (2) put out as early as possible. The author also gives tips on how women can get a good grade in bed. After all, the higher the grade, the higher his ability to love her.
So does this mean that when a man has sex with a prostitute (hey, that's sex right away) and she's really good at it, he falls madly in love with her?
So the movie Pretty Woman was based on reality?
This advice would be hilarious if it weren't meant to be taken seriously. In reality, if you dress like a hooker, you will be treated like a hooker. If you have sex with a man too soon, then he won't have the emotional investment necessary to fall in love with you. If you're good in bed (have a high sex score), then yes, he will return to you, but not because he's overcome with love, but simply because you're great in bed.
The author says he's helping women, but sometimes I get the feeling he hates women. For example, he says when men have sex with you, the whole time they're imagining having sex with someone else.
Even if this were true, how does a woman benefit from knowing this? Would you benefit if your lover said to you, "Hey, honey, wasn't last night great? I was quite the animal, wasn't I? You want to know why? Because the whole time I was imagining your best friend. Yep, that's the only way I could get it up for you. How do you like them apples?" Doesn't this sound just a tad bit mean-spirited?
And the book abounds with double-standards, too. For example, he thinks the character Lucy in the t.v. show I Love Lucy is a despicable character because she lies and exploits people in order to get what she wants...yet when men lie and exploit women in order to get what they want (sex), he sees this as perfectly normal and understandable.
Another example is when he says it's a turnoff for a woman to be a workaholic because her job takes her away from paying attention to her man...yet when a man is a workaholic and his job takes him away from paying attention to his woman, again he sees this as perfectly normal and understandable.
I'm not really sure why the author wrote this book. Is he trying to convince women that men are just too shallow to have a meaningful relationship with? Should we stop looking at men as long-term investments because men are only capable of valuing a woman for what she does or what he can get from her (sex,comfort) rather than value her for who she is? Or since men treat women like sex toys, should women treat them the same and simply spit them out like a piece of gum when they've lost their flavor? If that's the case, then not only does this author enjoy objectifying women...but he enjoys objectifying men as well.
19 of 20 people found the following review helpful
- Published on Amazon.com
My first reaction: "Men are jerks! If this is really what they are like, then why waste any time with them?!"
My second reaction: "So that's what my husband has been trying to tell me, only in a subtler (or not so subtle) way."
And thus went my feelings throughout the book: disgusted, then enlightened, then disgusted again.
The book was highly entertaining, well written, easy to read, and humorous.
That being said, it was a bit graphic for my taste. I wouldn't recommend it to anyone but a closest friend, let alone actually talk to people about it. Call me pretentious, but I would find it embarrassing.
And I wouldn't want to meet the author in person. I would constantly be thinking about what he was thinking about and be completely embarrassed. At least I can live in denial with most guys!
On the other hand, this book just might help out a few male/female relationships, or at least open up communication between the man and the woman. Maybe even mine. (Not that men would care about improved communication unless sex is involved.) And if it did that, then this book has deserves a good review.
This question in Matthews' quiz sums up the biggest benefit I gained: "Your guy accidentally lets it slip how attractive he thinks Scarlett Johansson is. What he really means is: a) She's pretty and sexy and you're a cow; b) She's pretty and sexy and you could never, ever, possibly satisfy him as long as that [...] is alive; c) She's pretty and sexy and he's hoping you'll pick up on the fact that he's dissatisfied with your relationship and is trying to let you down softly so that he might be free to pursue his beloved Scarlett; d) She's pretty and sexy and it has absolutely nothing to do with you."
Now that I know the answer, I feel much better about life and think many of my relationship tensions will disappear.
And if you don't know the answer, you will definitely want to read this book. Most men are jerks, true, but not complicated jerks...
14 of 15 people found the following review helpful
- Published on Amazon.com
I love this book. Every Man Sees You Naked is honest, funny, smart, and fun to read. If you are easily offended by the truth spoken without a cushion, then this is not the book for you. If you really want to know what's going on in a man's mind and have the light shined on all of the lies we were told as little girls, then press the order button immediately. This book made me imagine what it would be like to secretly sit in a room full of guys and listen to them talking honestly about women. David Matthews lets the cat out of the bag! It's great.
20 of 23 people found the following review helpful
- Published on Amazon.com
I think this book should be read by EVERY woman. EVERY WOMAN. Reading it is like listening through a key hole in a men's club or locker room "to hear what men really think and want". Matthews writes `Every Man Sees You Naked' in a very "up and fresh" style - yet in a VERY honest way, too. At certain points he made me literally laugh out loud because of the manner of his humorous way of stating things about dating all the way to certain taboo subjects (especially confusing to the female sex). After they read this book there should not be any more confusion.
Matthews is not condescending at all - but "all telling" with a humor that makes the "medicine go down" very easily for the female reader.
After reading it I was not "mad" at men anymore, but felt as if I understood them much better and even had an advantage over men - which feels great! Based on my own past relationship experience, some things he writes are incredibly shocking - but I would rather know the truth than go around confused and dressed like a crafty sweet Martha Stewart (unless that was what I wanted to be like). Now I know "what men think and want". He cuts to the chase making it easier for the female.
Matthews does not fault women in the book either, nor does he fault men. He just explains with great humor and candor "the secret facts, differences between the two sexes and why that is the way it is"...and writes it in a way I have never heard before. I now have a total new insight to men, my men friends, and my husband. Now I can finally help other females who are always forever plighted with the mystery and woes of men and relationships! I would say to them - "Just buy this book and READ it! Life will get BETTER for you." You may think you know some things, but Matthews let me know and understand things that I just didn't "get" before. Now I do! I feel very empowered after reading this book and cannot wait to "experiment" a bit with his sound advice! I also could not put this book down. I literally turned off the phone, sat and read it with no interruptions. It is not only a fantastic read, it was about the most informative factual book on men I have ever read. His honesty is informative, VERY fresh and different -plus a total page turner! Excellent book!!