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Evil Things

Elyssa Mersdorf , Laurel Casillo , Dominic Perez    R (Restricted)   DVD
5.0 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (1 customer review)
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If You Think You're Alone... Think Again In the middle of nowhere, five young friends are trapped in an unrelenting nightmare when a sinister stranger armed with a video camera turns a birthday weekend into a terrifying fame of cat and mouse. Packed with heart-stopping twists and turns, this riveting thriller in the style of Paranormal Activity delivers one chill after the next!

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Most helpful customer reviews
5.0 out of 5 stars Genuinely and exceedingly creepy Dec 30 2013
By Daniel Jolley TOP 50 REVIEWER
Evil Things is a wonderfully creepy little thriller that has everything most films of this genre lack - a compelling storyline, really effective acting, and filmmakers that actually appreciate true suspense and know how to manifest it on film. I love blood and gore even more than the next guy, but the reality is that blood and gore are often used to prop up movies lacking a decent plot. The truly remarkable horror film does not require blood to be shed on camera and usually succeeds much better without it. Evil Things is a case in point. I've watched and reviewed hundreds and hundreds of horror films, and I'm telling you that I want to shout from the rooftops about just how good this movie is. I really can't understand why so many people hate it so much.

This film works because it is wholly believable - and disquietingly so. Let's face it: the odds are quite low that your camping trip will turn in to a fight for survival against a family of inbred cannibals or three days and nights of terror against an evil spirit of legend, that those quasi-friends of yours who unexpectedly invited you for a weekend on the lake are really planning on sacrificing you to some demi-god, or that some dude is going to stumble up to your cabin with some form of hellishly contagious, organ-liquefying disease. Films with those kinds of plots can certainly scare you - but only up to a point. Evil Things, in contrast, tells a story that you can envision really happening - and, just to boost things up a notch, it all goes down in a place you would normally feel safe and secure. I'm not talking about coming home to find some dangerous psycho waiting for you or waking up to find an intruder - that's much too quick and easy.
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Most Helpful Customer Reviews on Amazon.com (beta)
Amazon.com: 2.5 out of 5 stars  61 reviews
21 of 24 people found the following review helpful
1.0 out of 5 stars Evil Boring Things Nov. 19 2011
By NateMonroe - Published on Amazon.com
My review contains spoilers.

This film borrow heavily from The Blair Witch Project. In fact, in some places, it's almost identical. Straight from the opening cut as the kids are leaving home and getting in the car, we realize this film is mirroring Blair Witch in a distorted way. This film blatantly rewrites some of Blair Witch's scenes even down to talking about food, doing interviews, etc. They even get lost in the woods, which, in my book was stupid. They carry on about being lost, oh what do we do, we are lost, we will die here. Well, since it did snow heavily the night before, and it's not snowing now, maybe follow your own tracks back. bet you never thought of that, little Einsteins!

The characters are very uninteresting. Only at one point, the lead female puts on a man's wig, and acts like another character's mother, does the film get entertaining.

The film took almost 50 minutes of bad acting before anything really interesting happens. And that is when a video tape shows up on the front porch. They watch the tape and realize they themselves have been watched. That concept was chilling. But that was it for spooky parts. There were a few minor ones after that, but, that's not even really worth the time or money to sit through this for that thrill.
20 of 25 people found the following review helpful
1.0 out of 5 stars I'll never get my hour and a half back. D; Aug. 10 2011
By Amazon Customer - Published on Amazon.com
This movie is TERRIBLE! IT has NO plot. What you read above is all there is (only worse.)

The "crazed" stalker is just someone who honked at their car and passed them, only later to be found stopped ahead for whatever reason. That is the movies crazed stalker. They get freaked out when they see the van in a -- hold your breath kids -- gas station filling up on gas. Wow. That has the thumb print of Satan all over it, right?

The guy has this impossibly big camera. It's somewhat smaller than the ones they use nowadays. It was the kind you have to put on your shoulder and he seemingly carried it everywhere. That must be some very strong battery (and arm muscles.)

These kids are the only kids who can get lost outside after a snow storm. They were all freaking out about "being lost". It wasn't snowing nor was there a wind. The camera guy panned around to show evidence of animal tracks but the snow was largely untouched (and the animal tracks couldn't have been made by an animal larger than a cat.) I wanted to say, FFS! Turn around, look down, and follow your tracks. Then again we wouldn't get award winning lines like "is that... AN ANIMAL?!" They're in a foresty area. One of the guys says "what? An ANIMAL?! Here? In the WOODS?! NEVER!"

The tension goes up when the poor, haunted kids get a two crank calls and a pounding at the door. After the prerequisite screaming, tears and OMIGAHS!, one goes out to see a present was left. Was it a dead animal? Nope. A poor, mutilated doll that said "your next"? Nah. Satanic symbols painted on the porch with obviously fake blood? Uh uh. It was a video tape. Do our heros A) call the cops? B) Get the hell out of dodge? C) get some weapons to protect themselves? or D) watch the movie?

I think the fact that they had whoever this thing way was filming them because they probably thought halfway through the movie that having the main video guy holding the camera would seem... I don't don't. I little unreal. ;P I don't know why, though. We learn nothing. The guy tells one of the girls to hold his camera and to make certain she gets a shot of whoever that person is, but we never see it.

We never see why this person was after them too. I have a very hard time believe that because someone honked twice behind you, sped up and passed you, than you seeing him at the side of the road warrants some psycho insane stalker thing.

You don't see anything that happens to the kids. The cover is the face one of the girls makes. We don't see why or what happens afterward. My face was stuck in that position after I finished this movie (the HORROR! HORROR!) It still is, which was awkward at work last night.

For some reason they tacked on 10 minutes of random shots of central park in the fall. There is no given reason for this, but honestly I wasn't surprised. They probably said "WTF. If they've watched it this far than they've earned it." That was almost funny too. I mean, it was all random people until the camera man saw a couple actors being filmed than focused entirely on them.

Queue the credits (in which we see the "scary" video we just watched 20 mins ago.) This goes on longer than the credits. Some minutes after the credits are done we see a "no animals were harmed in the making of this film" (there were no animals seen in the movie) and then a random mishmash of nursery rhymes that they tried to make vaguely scary but failed.

AVOID THIS MOVIE! Though it may prove to be an interesting drinking game.
2 of 2 people found the following review helpful
1.0 out of 5 stars A genuine stinker. March 11 2013
By Amazon Customer - Published on Amazon.com
This film is laughably bad.

The characters are the worst kind of mal-adapted pinheads, the plot is contrived and confused (probably the greatest accomplishment in the movie). It absolutely fails in establishing any level of atmosphere or tension, and the camera work is particularly sub-par. The first hour of this film is almost as exciting as listening to your friend's cousin from out of town talk about his little brother's Facebook feed. The last 30 minutes don't do much better, and save for a couple of moments where you think there just might be a glimmer of potential, they whiz it right down their collective leg.

The found footage genre has long since lost its novelty, and only really works when you have engaging characters you care about, anyway. This concept is lost on the production team for Evil Things. "I'd like to see you do better"... Yeah, I'd LOVE to see ANYONE do better than this pile. Honestly, I think anyone reading this could make a movie like this at home in about 12 hours (at about a dollar an hour budget, plus snacks). I won't throw any spoilers out there... this movie is already rotten. MIGHT... and I emphasize the word MIGHT be enjoyable for younger teen and pre-teen audiences, but anyone with even a mildly developed sense of cinema will break out in hives.

I can only recommend this title if you feel like you have both too much time and too little regret in your life. It will solve both of those problems at once.

Skip 'er like a flat rock, Cap'n.
2 of 2 people found the following review helpful
4.0 out of 5 stars Atmospheric Gem June 3 2014
By Nan Hornsby - Published on Amazon.com
This is a wonderfully creepy little thriller that I'm glad I found. I've watched it several times now, and the scene in the woods never fails to raise the hair on my arms. It will probably be slammed as just another low budget horror flick with no-name talent. But this is a great movie. The tension builds quickly over the course of two days and fulminates in the awesomely spine-tingling finish at the front door. Glad I came across this one when I was searching for another movie. It turned out to be much better than the movie I was originally looking for.
1 of 1 people found the following review helpful
3.0 out of 5 stars Vacation Of The Damned... Jan. 7 2014
By Bindy Sue Frønkünschtein - Published on Amazon.com
EVIL THINGS is another "found footage" film. This time, five friends -three girls and two guys- are on vacation together. While driving along, the group is followed by someone in a dark van. The van seems to appear wherever they go. Is it all coincidence, or are they being stalked? Of course, one of them -named Leo- films almost everything that happens. They arrive at their destination -a big empty house- and settle in for the night. A party ensues, everyone gets drunk, and night gives way to day. Oh, those crazy, fun-loving kids! They start off on a snowy hike through the deep woods to see some "Indian drawings". Naturally, they get lost, tempers flare, and day becomes night. Then, otherworldly noises begin echoing through the trees. If only they'd stayed in the nice, warm house! Wait a minute! There's the house up ahead! Yay! Time for more beer! During a late dinner, the hang-up calls start. Next, the knocking at the door, and a mysterious package is left on the porch. It contains a video tape. They watch it and are shocked to see... themselves! Yep, the creepy van guy is a videographer as well as a stalker! The tension mounts as the video becomes increasingly intimate. Luckily, Leo films it all. Though THINGS is pretty standard POV fare, it does have a few moments of actual shudders. A decent funhouse of a movie...
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