- Paperback: 284 pages
- Publisher: Main Street Books; REP edition (May 18 1998)
- Language: English
- ISBN-10: 0385483325
- ISBN-13: 978-0385483322
- Product Dimensions: 15.2 x 1.3 x 22.9 cm
- Shipping Weight: 286 g
- Average Customer Review: 4.8 out of 5 stars See all reviews (5 customer reviews)
- Amazon Bestsellers Rank: #564,007 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)
- See Complete Table of Contents
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Product Details |
Product Description
Book Description
Christine Longaker's experience with death and care of the dying began in 1976 when her husband was diagnosed with acute leukemia at the age of twenty-four. Since his death, she has devoted her life to ease the suffering of those facing death. In Facing Death and Finding Hope, she clearly and compassionately identifies the typical fears and struggles experienced by the dying and their families. The core of this book is presented in "Four Tasks of Living and Dying," using the Tibetan Buddhist perspective on death to provide a new framework of meaning. A book of great depth and grace, it is destined to become a classic in the literature on death and dying.
From the Publisher
Christine Longaker's experience with death and care of the dying began in 1976 when her husband was diagnosed with acute leukemia at the age of 24. Since his death, she has devoted her life to ease the suffering of those facing death. In a clear and compassionate tone, she identifies the typical fears and struggles experienced by the dying and their families. The core of the book is presented in "Four Tasks of Living and Dying," using the Tibetan Buddhist perspective on death to provide a new framework of meaning that can be applied to every type of caregiving setting. These spiritual principles are universal, enabling readers to find resonance within their own religious traditions.
Longaker introduces a spiritual understanding of life and death and offers guidance in the face of impossible questions: How can I possibly comfort my friend with incurable cancer when I myself am terrified by death? How do I make peace with a dying parent, sibling or spouse? How do I speak to someone in great pain? Every one of us will face many deaths in our lifetimes, including those of loved ones, and eventually we will confront the challenge of our own passing.
Facing Death and Finding Hope will serve as the essential handbook for anyone facing death, helping a loved one, or working in the caregiving field. A book of great depth and grace, it is destined to become a classic in the literature on death and dying. --This text refers to the Hardcover edition.
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Customer Reviews
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Most helpful customer reviews
5.0 out of 5 stars
Perhaps the most genuinely helpful book around...,
By Bill Butler "Bill Butler" (Tarzana, Ca. USA) - See all my reviews
This review is from: Facing Death (Paperback)
Who are the people suffering the most? The dying. And you and I will die. Our loved ones will die. And as Christine so brillantly points out, we still have a connection after our loved one's death. My cousin Pat is a virtual saint. She works with people who are dying. She is both a research scientist and a nurse. She has learned to put up with what we pour out when we are dying. Remember a time when you lost something that you very much wanted? The anger? Well, imagine the atomic bomb of rage that goes off when someone is apparently losing everything? I know! The body just drops off and the soul lives on. But the delusion of dying IS the same as death. Do you see what I mean? Unless we obtain a very advanced degree of spiritual understanding, you and I will feel that we are dying. We could also define death as the dropping off of the body. But since we so incredibly identify with our bodies, to us, when the body is dying - we are dying. So let's take an agnostic's viewpoint on death. I think that is fair. As an agnostic, we can ask, "Is there life after death?" And the answer for an agnostic must be "I don't know". If you have read or studied "The Tibetan Book of Living and Dying" by Sogyal Rinpoch (Longaker's teacher) you will have covered your bases, so to speak. And that and this book will help you with the dying, the dead, and the people who have died a long time ago. So it's a very pragmatic thing to do. Study what we know about death before it springs on us. Let us cover the book briefly. PART 1: THE EXPERIENCE OF LIVING AND DYING This is a basic run-down about death. Don't worry. It's easy reading and gives us our first glmpse of what is essential. First, a good life (that leaves out me!) Secondly, that the thought at death is very important. PART 2: THE FOUR TASKS OF LIVING AND DYING This is the main part of the book. This is the deep existentential part of the book. As ET said, "Be Good." But it's better for ET to have said, "Be good, especially when you are dying." Longaker gives you a tour through the process (see "The Tibetan Book of Living and Dying" which goes through this more extensively). PART 3: Advice for Caregivers, Parents, and Survivors This part is especially good for the person who has just had a loved one pass away. EPILOGUE Just that. Now someone may have a loved one who just died or who is dying. The question may arise, "What can I do?" Order this book and the one I referred to just recently. But I'll give you something now until your books arrive. Be natural. Be you. Don't playact. You might even tell the person (calmly) that you're pissed off because they are dying! Isn't that what you would want me to do? Just don't start yelling. Okay? After the person has left their body, pray for them. For most of us, the Bible is the best. Longaker might disagree with me. Whatever they were brought up with. Torah, Koran, whatever. If they are a firm athiest, read them Bertrand Russel. No. Still do the Bible because they will see some action soon. THE HEARING GOES THE LAST. So don't be an idiot and start blabbing how gooey they look. I do know that the most important thing is for them to pray after they get out of the body. Be a chum. But not because the are DYING. But imagine your friend going down a deep dark tunnel alone? Read the books. Or at least this one. It's not really not my cup of tea. BUY THE BOOK. I like whiskey and women. Good Luck.
5.0 out of 5 stars
Superb book!,
By A Customer
This review is from: Facing Death (Paperback)
A book on how one can deal with death, for all kinds of people
5.0 out of 5 stars
A Guidebook to the Process of Dying,
By A Customer
This review is from: Facing Death (Paperback)
My sister just died of cancer and spent her last 2 months in hospice care. This book served as my guidebook through the process, taught me how to let my sister go with peace and love and left me in a better state of mind afterwards. It seemed that each time I picked it up, I was at the exact chapter I needed at the time. The chapter where she writes from the viewpoint of the dying person is worth the cost of the book alone! It gave me so much insight into what my sister must be going through and helped to frame all of the rest of my time with her. Longaker's Tibetan Buddhist writing can be heavy going, but she makes her concepts applicable to many different faiths and uses many examples from these faiths throughout the book. The chapter on bereavement is also excellent, offering practical suggestsions based on her own experience (interesting that she uses that term, based on its genesis from the word "bereft," instead of "mourning"). For anyone who has to deal with someone who has faced a long-term disease which erodes the body, her touching poem "You Can Grow Less Beautiful" is so meaningful. In addition to helping readers to deal with the practical aspects of dealing with a loved one's death, she also focuses on how each of us can prepare every day for our own deaths (through meditation and letting go); it will probably take another reading for me to be able to focus on this area, but I look forward to doing so.
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