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Facing the Shadow: Starting Sexual and Relationship Recovery Paperback – Jan 1 2011

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Facing the Shadow: Starting Sexual and Relationship Recovery + Facing Heartbreak: Steps to Recovery for Partners of Sex Addicts + Out of the Shadows: Understanding Sexual Addiction
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Product Details

  • Paperback: 325 pages
  • Publisher: Gentle Path Press; Second Edition edition (Jan. 1 2011)
  • Language: English
  • ISBN-10: 0982650523
  • ISBN-13: 978-0982650523
  • Product Dimensions: 25.1 x 20.1 x 2 cm
  • Shipping Weight: 839 g
  • Average Customer Review: 4.5 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (2 customer reviews)
  • Amazon Bestsellers Rank: #26,181 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

Product Description

About the Author

Patrick Carnes, PhD , is author of 'Out of the Shadows: Understanding Sexual Addiction' (1992), 'Contrary to Love: Helping the Sexual Addict' (1989), 'The Betrayal Bond' (1997), 'Open Hearts' (1999), and 'Facing the Shadow' (2001). He is executive director of the Gentle Path program at Pine Grove Behavioral Center in Hattiesburg, Mississippi.

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1 of 1 people found the following review helpful By Doug Woollam on Sept. 29 2013
Format: Paperback Verified Purchase
I choose this rating as it deals with this subject very clearly and in gtreat detail. I recommend it to all who suffer from this addiction.
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By Shannon Wilson on Sept. 5 2014
Format: Paperback Verified Purchase
Great book! Digs deap into the heart of the issue.
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Most Helpful Customer Reviews on (beta) 42 reviews
14 of 14 people found the following review helpful
Help for sexual addiction Dec 26 2008
By Eoin Stephens - Published on
Format: Paperback
It is becoming increasingly important for counsellors and psychotherapists to educate themselves about the issue of Sexual Addiction, which can be defined as out-of-control and damaging sexual behaviour in relation to Internet sex, prostitution, telephone sex, multiple affairs etc. Modern society provides a huge range of options for artificially enhanced, relatively impersonal sexual stimulation, and in our counselling practices we are more frequently meeting clients who may be addicted in some of these areas.

I recommend this new 2nd edition of Carnes' book as an introduction to the subject. Carnes has been the field leader in Sexual Addiction counselling since publishing "Out of the Shadows" in 1983, and the present book accessibly summarises his thinking about the problem, along with approaches for helping those who may be struggling with it. The main addition since the 1st edition is a more detailed exploration of the growing phenomenon of Cybersex (Internet sex) addiction.

Having been involved in the development of addiction treatment/recovery in the USA for many years, Carnes' thinking is a blend of influences taken from 12-Step programmes such as Alcoholics Anonymous and Sex & Love Addicts Anonymous, from Cognitive-Behavioural techniques such as written inventories and challenging core beliefs, and from relevant neurobiological findings. He has a deep understanding of the nature of Addictive Behaviours over and above the familiar example of Chemical Dependency, and his key contribution to the field may be his description of the Sexual Addiction Cycle, where Preoccupation leads to Ritualisation, which leads to addictive Acting Out behaviours; the Pain arising from this acting out can then be numbed by further Preoccupation, which closes the self-perpetuating cycle.

Carnes is also known for his Tasks approach to recovery. In this book he focuses on what he sees as the first 7 recovery tasks:

1. Breaking through denial
2. Understanding addiction
3. Surrendering to the process
4. Limiting damage
5. Establishing sobriety
6. Ensuring physical integrity
7. Participating in a culture of support

In earlier books he included Reducing Shame, which he now leaves until the second phase of recovery. My own experience, and those of many other therapists working with the Centre for Sexual Addictions, is that it is important to address the issue of shame and self-hatred at an early stage. Clients may see themselves and their sexuality in a very negative light, perhaps partly due to the negativity towards sexuality which has been a part of Irish culture, and may be in danger of trying to force themselves into the opposite extreme of complete avoidance and denial of sexuality (Carnes is alert to this danger, calling it Sexual Anorexia, and he has written an important book on the subject, entitled "Sexual Anorexia: Overcoming Sexual Self-Hatred").

Perhaps the main strength of this book is that it can be useful to both therapist and client alike, and while I have never worked through the whole book with any client, we can together make productive use of some of the handouts/exercises/inventories (for instance, the Consequences Inventory).

Eoin Stephens is Director of Education & Training at PCI College, and at the Centre for Sexual Addictions ([...] a division of the Institute for Behavioural & Mental Health ([...]
30 of 35 people found the following review helpful
Facing Reality June 26 2006
By Roger L. Johnson - Published on
Format: Paperback Verified Purchase
Dr. Carnes is a noted authority and perhaps the premier researcher in the area of sexual addiction. His work goes back easily some twenty years. I have studied with Dr. Carnes and I can say with some authority that this may be his finest work. It is the fruit of much thought and labor. It is reality. Carl Rogers said: "Until we can accept ourselves as we really are we can't change." This book, really a work book, helps the addicted person do just that. But it doesn't stop there. The addict is able to see through the work he does that he is able, through healthy activities, to regain control of his life. This is the second edition. Dr. Carnes demonstrates not only his high standards of authorship, but his humility and ability to accept constructive criticism both from within himself and I think perhaps others, in the changes he has put into this second edition. They are well worth the effort. Dr. Carnes comes at the sexual addiction issue with clarity, research, and above all empathy. His other work "The Recovery Zone," will I think prove to be as well received as this work.

Roger L. Johnson

M.A, Th.M. LPC

Director, Day Program

Meier Clinics
10 of 10 people found the following review helpful
Amazing June 16 2008
By Abe Lincoln - Published on
Format: Paperback Verified Purchase
This author (Patrick Carnes) is the most knowledgable person on the topic of Sexual Addiction. This book is good for people who like to have a workbook. There are a lot of quizzes and journaling places, so you can really get to the bottom of your problems. If you are not going to want to journal or take quizzes in the book, I would reccommend some of his other books. I hear great things about his original "facing the shadow" book. I kind of wish I had bought that one actually.
7 of 7 people found the following review helpful
Engaging March 7 2011
By S. Reece - Published on
Format: Paperback Verified Purchase
Lots of written exercises to keep you thinking. Very upfront and it can relate to all addictions. I am using it for codependency and love addiction. I just change the words sex addiction to my personal issues. It is a challenge but I believe it will be worth it.
42 of 55 people found the following review helpful
super workbook in tandem with group therapy Jan. 1 2003
By A Customer - Published on
Format: Paperback
Working through this with group therapy has been wonderful and life changing. Cannot recommend it highly enough. Get Carnes' other books as well.