Attacked by a vampire while out on vacation, Doug has become the latest child of the night. He was changed by a guy from school who could not control himself. He tells people he's been changed by a beautiful vampire bombshell to keep his credibility intact. Doug isn't like the other vampires, though. He's not dark and brooding. He's a nerd. Pale and freckled and overweight, most people think he just has a bad skin condition.
When he's not going to conventions dressed as a Klingon or another nerdy character, Doug is trying to woo girls. He still needs to eat, and drinking the blood of a girl is practically having sex with her. Young vampires also need tutors so they can get used to their powers and responsibilities. They are an endangered species, after all, and they need to know how to do things. Despite this, Doug still acts like he did as a human. He goes to comic book conventions with his pals, and he tries to fit in and get a girlfriend.
Senjal, an exchange student from India who has the cyber addiction known as `The Google,' doesn't believe in vampires. Doug believes, however, that Senjal will fall for him, even though he isn't exactly smooth. While Doug is cruising and schmoozing and trying to discover what he can do, a defunct television vampire hunter gets wind of some of his mistakes, and he soon begins to track Doug down. How will things turn out with Senjal, and will Doug get staked before he can get a solid girlfriend?
This book has a lot going for it. The plot is funny, and for people that are tired of the same vampire novels, it can provide a fun escape. Rex knows how to write funny one-liners and references a lot of cool things, so readers of all ages will get a few chuckles out of him. He also has something to say beyond the funny, and that's a biting satire of the current sparkly savior vampire trend. He's out to prove that vampires are actually jerks.
Therein lies the novel's main flaw. Most of the characters are all right. Senjal was a little flat, but most of the other ones were cool. Doug, however, was a real jerk. Some people will find this hilarious and relate with Doug. Others, like this reviewer in particular, will be offended. He makes biting remarks about lots of minority groups, gay people and the like, and it's really frustrating to read that for a long period of time. He teases people about it, and he really isn't a likable person at all.
However, this is Rex's point. Doug gets told off for saying insulting things about these people, which at least shows there was reason behind the writing. It doesn't change the fact that some readers will be put off by Doug's attitude. FAT VAMPIRE is an intelligent and witty novel, but the protagonist will bog a lot of readers down. It's a great read if you're looking for satire and cult humor, but you have to deal with one jerk of a protagonist.
Reviewed by: John Jacobson, aka "R.J. Jacobs"