Father Fiction: Chapters for a Fatherless Generation [Paperback]

[ This review originally appeared in
THE ENGLEWOOD REVIEW OF BOOKS - Vol 3 #13 - 09 April 2010 ]

Writing in a conversational tone that is both humorous and engaging, Donald Miller is a superb writer, certainly one of the finest living writers of spiritual memoir. And yet, for most of his adolescent years, he struggled with his schoolwork, wondering if he really was incapable of learning and doing just well enough in school to get by. The son of a single mother, who worked slavishly to provide for their family, Miller attributes many of his academic and emotional struggles to the lack of a father in his life. In his newest book, Father Fiction: Chapters for a Fatherless Generation (which some readers will recognize as a reworking of his 2006 book To Own a Dragon), Miller bares the scars on his soul left by growing up without a father figure. Miller tells the stories here of the many men who mentored him on his journey, serving as surrogate fathers for various lengths of time and to varying degrees of success. It was, for instance, a youth pastor in his church, who befriended him and saw the gift of words in him, encouraging him to write -- even in a phase of his life where he had yet to read a book from cover to cover.

Father Fiction is not a light book, full of brutal honesty that will get its readers (presumably mostly men, or women who want to understand the experience of maleness in world dominated by fatherlessness) to think about their own formational experiences with their fathers, fatherlessness. Miller observes that this book is about "the hard, shameful, embarrassing stuff ... me secretly admitting to you I needed a father, and how I felt like half a man until I dealt with those issues honestly." Indeed, the road that winds its way through Father Fiction is a bumpy one that must be taken slowly and attentively. Underlying Miller's spinning the yarn of his life and speaking frankly about the wounds he suffered from growing up in a home without a father, is a deep stream of social criticism, a poignant assessment of the contemporary brokenness of the family and its psychological and sociological implications that never waxes nostalgic (as many religious conservatives are wont to do) for the stereotypical nuclear family of a bygone era. Indeed, his frank critique of the Promise Keepers' concept of masculinity -- which has dominated evangelical understandings of masculinity over the last two decades -- was a breath of fresh air.

Ultimately, Father Fiction is a hopeful book, inspiring those of us who are fathers to be more attentive to our fathering and to reach out in compassion to those young men around us (or even one young man) who are growing up without the presence of fathers in their lives. It would be a fabulous book to be read in our churches, especially by groups of men (and even moreso if a diversity of ages are represented in the group). This is perhaps the finest book I have ever read on the topic of masculinity (a topic on which, admittedly, I have not read all that many books), steering a wise course between the authoritarianism of the traditionalists and the drum-pounding psychobabble of new age men's movements.

I nearly passed on reading Father Fiction; I knew it by the former title but honestly the new title made me even less likely to read it...reason being, I grew up with a father. I only read it because I like Donald Miller. What I wasn't expecting was a lot of wisdom about life in general. And the book gets better as it goes along. Several chapters have little to do with the angst over growing up without a dad. I don't know how this book should've been marketed, but a lot of people probably won't read it who, like myself, grew up in a conventional household. And by the way, having a dad hardly means life is great. I had one and I am one, and there's baggage aplenty. "We all carry a father wound." We're all pretty disfunctional regardless of how we grew up. Eventually we realize that we're accountable for our choices and the parenting we received may be an influence but does not fate us to success or failure.

The chapters on dating, sex, and vocation should be read by everyone. This is Miller at his best. I especially liked his description of going on photo shoots with his nature photographer (and editor) friend John. He has perfected a refreshing style of writing that sounds like you're sitting with him at a coffee house. Don shares his Christian convictions without sounding preachy. Get beyond the title and enjoy.

I received this book and nearly fell over when I noticed that this was actually "To Own a Dragon" with some revisions and under a new publisher. I already own a copy of the original book (which is a really good read), so I am disappointed that the product description did not include this bit of VERY USEFUL information!I enjoy Miller's writing when I am in the mood for a light, easy read. I would not consider it great enough to buy twice though. Furthermore, Miller uses this book to promote his Mentoring Project for fatherless kids. As a single mother, with little extra money to spare, I feel a little hoodwinked by this marketing ploy. In all, mama is not happy!

edited review 9/23/10: I want to clarify that I am not unhappy with the the book, or the author. I really enjoy Miller's writing. I am displeased with the Editorial Review on the product description page, and with the new publishing company's recommendations to change the title and drop the co-authors name in order to sell more copies.