Feel the Fear and Do It Anyway Paperback – Apr 12 1988
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From School Library Journal
Jeffers discusses the crippling effects of fear in her personal life and explains how she formulated a course of action for conquering it. Her answers are simple, her course of action difficult only because it requires courage. She explains how fear is based on the uncertainty of change and the lack of positive self image. She avoids psychological lingo, and includes many case studies about careers and changes in personal life both of which are beginning to cause anxiety in many teens. Her message is reassuring: choices are not opportunities to make mistakes, but valid paths to growth, whichever path we take. She addresses the fundamental cause of fear the belief that ``I can't handle it!'' Feel the Fear is an important book, for while some young people are more crippled by insecurity that others, many do believe that the path to adulthood is fraught with dangers. Fear is doubtlessly a handicap with which they must learn to cope. Jennifer John Reavis, Episcopal High School, Bellaire
Copyright © Reed Business Information, a division of Reed Elsevier Inc. All rights reserved. --This text refers to an alternate Paperback edition.
From Library Journal
Based on a course taught at the New School for Social Research, this book offers readers a clear-cut plan for action that, when followed, should help them unlearn their misconceptions about of fear and replace them with attitudes of strength and conviction. By mixing positive thinking with situational exercises that examine basic fear responses, psychologist Jeffers shows that fear is what you make of it and that in most cases it is unfounded. She also illustrates key points through examining case studies, which show that when we are fearful, faulty thinking is most often the real culprit; when such thinking is corrected, the fear is gone. This book by no means offers a quick, fix-it course, as the author encourages return visits to the text when situations call for it. Recommended for general self-help collections. Robert L Jaquay, William K. Sanford Town Lib., Loudonville, N.Y.
Copyright 1987 Reed Business Information, Inc. --This text refers to an out of print or unavailable edition of this title.
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Top Customer Reviews
Dr. Jeffers talks about no-lose decisions. Either way you go, you win. You get "goodies," meaning the experience of life, either way. I had always thought that one had to agonize, think, pray, talk to people, get advice and finally make the absolutely right decision or else all would be lost. How freeing it is to realize I can't go wrong. I get to experience life in all it's fullness either way.
Another section of the book teaches us to make connections in at least nine areas of our life. So many of us connect with just our work, or with our mate, or with a child. When we lose our one and only connection, we are devastated. She teaches us to have and nurture connections in several areas. That way when we lose one, we are hurt, but we can still move on.
Finally, I always thought that when I felt fear it was a sign that perhaps I should back off. Dr. Jeffers teaches that if you're not feeling fear, you're not growing. Fear is just part of life. We all have an internal "chatterbox" that talks at us constantly and tells us all the reasons why we can't do something. Our job is to overcome the chatterbox and she effectively teaches us how to do so.
Then I read this book, suggested to me by one of my few remaining friends. It was a quick, simple read but you get the real impact by reading it a second, or third time. So many areas helped me reshape my thinking. Her question of "do you know someone in your life who think of as fearless?" resonated with me. Helping me understand that everyone feels fear and it's a person's interpretation of fear that makes all the difference, really hit home. Also encouraging me to view my life from a third person's point of view - like reading a book - really sprung me in to action. Taking away the expectation of a specific outcome to 'read on' motivated me to start dating... a lot! I detached myself from the outcome and just put things in to action. It was liberating, and I met an amazing guy (several actually, but one stuck:).
I'm now 31 and I use the lessons from this book, and Susan's book Embracing Uncertainty, everyday.Read more ›
- Fear doesn't go away until you do what you fear. If you're afraid to place an important phone call, the only way to lose that fear is to go ahead and call.
- There's no such thing as people who are afraid to fly, but people who refuse to board a plane. Many who fear flying board planes all the time - they don't let an unreasonable fear control their lives.
- To avoid debilitating fear in any area we should make sure our lives are well-rounded. Her 'grid' is very useful in this.
- Making a decision will always involve giving something up, i.e. what you would have gained if you had made another or the opposite decision.
Jeffers also urges us to lighten up, and for a society of drama queens that's sound advice!
Worth reading if you're plagued by self-doubts and are feeling unhappy with your decisions.
My husband and I have been on the verge of divorcing after 21 years and several years of strife. This book helped me to see what the real payoff has been for me to act as "victim" in the marriage. The marital distress is working in my husband's favor as well, soliciting love and care from friends and family members. I no longer need to be a victim in order to be loved. I am watching for that telltale sign of anger that Jeffers mentions, letting us know that we have handed control of our lives to another. This change in my mental attitude is working wonders toward reconciliation with my spouse. I have urged him to read the book as well.
This book gives us the tools to live freely from the emotional prisons where we sometimes (unknowingly and unwillingly) place ourselves. We have choices that we are often not even aware of. If one really wants to change and is willing to admit what part they play in their own problems, this book is an excellent tool to set them free. I thank the author so much for teaching us all of this simply and with clarity.
Most recent customer reviews
Absolutely loved this book - so much more than it appears on the cover.Published 7 days ago by James Ruettnauer
What I like about this book is it is full of examples that various people can relate too. The book is structured in an easy to read way, a lot like a classroom lecture but more... Read morePublished 12 months ago by Pedra
Love this book. For me they worked. I know it is hard when you are going through a rough time to find a book that speaks to you. This and Susan's other books spoke to me. Read morePublished 14 months ago by Susan Jarvis
I bought this for my daughter on the advice of her therapist and it really has helped her so far. I plan on reading it when she is done.Published 14 months ago by Kathy Smith
I read this book in 2006/2007 it forever changed my life. Still go back to the book to refresh my mind. Definitely a life enhancing bookPublished 15 months ago by lulu7190
Received within a few days of ordering. Very good service. Makes me want to order more. Thanks.Published 15 months ago by Dan N. Knafo
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