Final Gifts: Understanding the Special Awareness, Needs, and Communications of the Dying Paperback – Feb 3 1997
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From Kirkus Reviews
Impressive insights into the experience of dying, offered by two hospice nurses with a gift for listening. The ``final gifts'' of the title are the comfort and enlightenment offered by the dying to those attending them, and in return, the peace and reassurance offered to the dying by those who hear their needs. Callanan and Kelley describe a phenomenon they term ``Nearing Death Awareness''--which resembles somewhat the near-death experience sometimes reported by individuals revived after being clinically dead. Nearing Death Awareness, however, develops slowly, and the dying person seemingly drifts for a time between two worlds. Attempts by the dying to communicate about this awareness, often expressed in symbolic language or gestures, may be misunderstood by those around them, who dismiss the expressions as mere ``confusion.'' According to the authors, dying messages fall into two categories: descriptions of what they are experiencing (such as the places they see, the presence of others no longer alive, or their knowledge of when death will occur) and requests for what the dying need for a peaceful death (a reconciliation, for instance, or the removal of some barrier to departure). To illustrate, Callanan and Kelley include numerous examples of Nearing Death Awareness from their years of caring for the dying. And they offer practical advice not only to involved family members but also to professional caregivers on how to recognize, understand, and respond to a dying person's messages. No lugubriousness or false cheerfulness here, but acute observations and astute advice on a difficult topic. -- Copyright ©1992, Kirkus Associates, LP. All rights reserved. --This text refers to the Hardcover edition.
“A treasure–clear, authentic, responsible, and profoundly moving.” —Sandol Stoddard, author of The Hospice Movement
“Beautifully written, illuminating and reassuring…Final Gifts is truly a gift to us all.” —Judy Tatelbaum, author of The Courage to Grieve
“These richly told stories enable us to respond to the dying in new and authentic ways.” —Ira R. Byock, M.D., author of Dying Well: The Prospect for Growth at the End of Life
“Impressive insights into the experience of dying, offered by two hospice nurses with a gift for listening…They offer practical advice not only to involved family members but also to professional caregivers on how to recognize, understand, and respond to a dying person’s messages.” —Kirkus Reviews
“A hopeful, helpful work…provides a gentle way to think about the unthinkable.”—Publishers Weekly
“A treasure…‘must’ reading for anyone working with the dying, or living with a dying person or life-threatening illness, or thinking about the process.”—Vital Signs
“Maggie Callanan and Patricia Kelley have garnered a wisdom and sensitivity, and cultivated a keen observation that only the dying could teach.”—Sunrise
“Insightful. Final Gifts is a significant contribution. Experienced hospice nurses Maggie Callanan and Patricia Kelley shed important light on human experience at the end of life. I highly recommend this helpful book to all who care for the dying.”—Dr. Balfour Mount, Professor of Palliative Medicine, McGill University
“Irrespective of belief system, age or diagnosis of the dying person, Final Gifts conveys the awe and profundity of the moments surrounding death that we all feel.” —Madalon Amenta, R.N., M.D., Public Health Editor of The Hospice Journal
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Top Customer Reviews
Lately, because of my interest in the subject and how it affects not only those dying, but those around the aged and ill, I've been reading everything I can get my hands on. I've come across two other excellent books on this subject. One is titled "Necessary Losses" and is along the lines of this book. the other was a collection of stories about loss called "The Children's Corner" by Jackson McCrae. Stories about death, be it physical, spiritual, or emotional. Some are acutally quite funny and others are touching. Still others are dark and painful. One story "Crook" deals with Alzheimer's and is moving without being manipulative. All-in-all, two other great books to help you think about dying and the process.
a must read. It shows you what several dying people experience during the process. It allows you to see and to be present with your loved ones. It is a very emotional book that gives you one of lifes' biggest gifts. Being there and present during the dying process of a loved one. Lots of tears, but also lots of insight and a better understanding of life's journey. Again a MUST read for anyone.
Considering when the book was written its not too heavy on the god(s) stuff. Where it got a bit too mystical, "talking to people on the other side" etc, I read it more as metaphorical than literal and it was fine. On the whole, there was a lot which I liked about the book, which was mostly a collection of people's stories as seen and *interpreted* through the eyes of a hospice nurse. Her observations on how we have isolated death from "normal" life by medicalizing it and hiding it away ultimately is a disservice to us. The stories are wide and varied enough, that I think people from many different philosophical points of view can take away useful knowledge on how to prepare for death as well as help care for those who are dying.... After all, we all will die. How do you make the best of it based on who you are and what you believe ? This book can help with that....
I didnt give it 5/5 because, well, it didnt meet all my needs. But still, a very worth while starting point.
November 27, 2002
Book Review: Final Gifts: Understanding the Special Awareness, Needs, and Communications of the Dying
By Maggie Callanan and Patricia Kelley
This book first caught my attention when I was doing research into how family caregivers deal with loved ones plagued with Alzheimer's disease. Although Alzheimer's is not a terminal illness the enduring journey does lead to the unfortunate passing of a loved one. The authors illustrate the process of death and the reactions very well. They draw to an interesting parallel between birth and dying, and how this can be looked upon simply as a cycle. Yet they go into further detail about the way each individual reacts to the idea of dying.
A main thought that is preached throughout book is that of informing both patient and family about the disease. The coping process becomes so much more difficult when uncertainty is placed into the outcome of the dying patient's future. To prevent this, the authors suggest not keeping the family or patient in the dark about the disease, but educating them to anything that may occur. In turn this relieves much anxiety and fear for the whole family, and allows them to continue through the coping process. An issue that was raised in this book was the notion of a peaceful death. Although this did not cover how a family caregiver is to deal with the situation, it can be easily applied. The primary thought is the acceptance that ones loved one is going to die and also the importance of dying peacefully. This means both at peace with ones mind and also in regards to physical comfort. Through the acceptance of death, the caregiver can be able to offer the support needed to the dying patient and also his family.Read more ›
Most recent customer reviews
a must have for anyone working in Palliative care and for their families. Wish I had this as soon as we were part of palliative care. Thanks Dr. Ward for recommending it!Published 3 months ago by Amazon Customer
I couldn't put this book down. It made me feel so much more comfortable and peaceful about facing the death of my mother. It is written in such a beautiful and sensitive way. Read morePublished 4 months ago by Stephanie Webb
I read this book back when my father was sick and dying. I found it to be a wonderful resource book. Read morePublished 5 months ago by Sharron Berglund
I highly recommend this book for those dealing with palliative conditions or someone who has just lost someone.Published 14 months ago by Louise Myre
This is an old book but one of the best. It is based on the observations of two hospice nurses. I first bought it when my dad was dying of cancer and it really helped me... Read morePublished 16 months ago by Biz
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