America needs Karl now more than ever. In this upcoming election, we need someone who can tackle the REAL issues that keep Americans up at night. We are not concerned with our floundering economy, the "war" on terror or how we are now less popular globally than Alton Towers. We ARE worried about:
- Curfews for gays (The Killing of Georgie law)
- Snails eating our postage stamps
- Shadows that push people off of bikes
- Octopi in jam jars
- Big heads and webbed hands
- Split tennis balls
- Organized fun
- Little Turkish fellas that eyeball your girlfriends
All of these things have been ignored by our current administration. I am spearheading the "Do We Need Him?" campaign for Karl to run for the American Presidency. "Do We Need Him?" - you bet your jaffa cakes we do! Lest anyone think we can't get Karl into office, please look at who we have now. Over 50 million people voted George Dubya into office - twice! Americans obviously love and relate to the genius of being stupid. G. Dubs has got nothin' on Lil' Karly Pilkoids! Can you imagine, in a hundred years from now, Karl's little face on a ten dollar bill? Or better yet, the roundest penny ever created!
A plea to Ricky - please bring Karl to America with you this summer. We need him now more than ever before. Don't let Manchester, Kent and London (where he lives) have all the fun and that. Bring the World's Roundest Head to the Big Apple! Alright? Alright.
OOOHH!!! CHIMPANZEE THAT!!! Pilkington for PRESIDENT!!! Yer ffff...
(buy Flanimals...it's good)