Flower of the Desert [Paperback]

The Girl: Jasmine Hasir is a half-Moroccan, half-American girl in her third year at Princeton. Her daddy runs an import-export business and she's been a pampered only child. Thoroughly Americanized with a preference for going braless, tight jeans, and makeup, she's due to get the home culture hammer on her head. No more showing skin for you, Missy! What you need is a man to make you cover yourself up and keep you in the house where no one sees you but him! Babies and Arabian Nights of Lovin'!

The Guy: Raj Ben Hajad, an employee of Daddy Hasir, comes to America to fetch Jasmine back because her great-granddaddy aka "Grandgramps" is dying and Jasmine was always his favorite. He's had American experience himself while at university, but after his heart got broken by an American slut-tramp-trollop-hussy-Jezebel, he decided the old ways are the best and he won't marry anyone except a nice Moroccan girl who knows her place. Unfortunately, as soon as he sees Jasmine dancing on a table in a frat house, it's Insta-Boner and she's immediately in his blood. Or at least, his vas deferens. Or erectile tissue. (It's been a long time since Biology 101. Sue me.)

The Setup: As established, Raj comes to fetch Jasmine back and they fight off attraction to each other. Until Death By Sandstorm looms and then they go at it like baboons. Or whatever animal gets it on almost constantly. (It's been a long time since Zoology 101. Sue me.)

Once that happens, they get all cold and distant until Danger By Rogue Bedouin looms, and then Rescue happens, Love is confessed, Cultural Compromises are made, and it's all happy-happy joy-joy. *hack cough* Just threw up a fuzzy-wuzzy. How did that get there?

(Wait, it's dolphins! Yes? No? It's definitely not pandas. You practically have to show them how to do it.)

The Good Stuff: It was short. The print was big. The pages had a coarse surface so I could turn them faster. The spine is still intact. A good readable copy. Anyone want it?

My Gripes: This was a predictable by-the-numbers romance. At every step, you knew what was going to happen next, even what was going to be said next. There were no surprises. It was boring as all get out, which is the worst thing a book can be IMO. I can't stand boring. The style was even blah and drab, and there were sooooooooo many places where it was obvious the word count was being padded out.

Ali raised his rifle. "Stop where you are!" he shouted.

A man slid from the camel. "It is I, Masad Bey," he called out.

"Masad Bey!" the men said and ran to meet him.


And then there was this riveting exchange between our hero and heroine:

"Hello, Raj," she murmured.

"How do you feel?"

"Better. I'm all right. How are you?"

He wanted to hold her. "Fine," he answered. "I'm fine."

"We made it."

"Yes."


Sooooo....how about them Packers, huh?

I was hoping that the hero would at least be entertainingly alpha, but no. We did get some Musings by the man which were hilarious, though: "OMG, she seems to care about her old Grandgramps! Then she can't be a total whore, but is instead so complex that I doubt I'll ever understand her." (Paraphrased, but not too far off. You won't believe how not far off.)

This book had practically every Harlequin and romance cliché I can think of. It might have been entertaining, if it hadn't had such a dreary, written-in-her-sleep style. Plus the heroine's parents were the romance couple of an earlier book, so we get recaps of their past adventure. That's always fun.

Harlequin (and Romance in general) Check List
* Virgin heroine
* Hero scarred from past romance & therefore wants a "traditional" woman aka "B!tch knows her place"
* Kindly old relative who is more attuned to heroine's feelings than others
* Family decides to manipulate Heroine's future
* Hero is wounded and heroine has to nurse him back to health (that old hurt-comfort thing)
* Evil villain who lusts for the heroine on sight and abducts her
* Danger lurks, but "Eh, it looks OK. Let's wander off into the desert night. Nothing will happen" and then....ABDUCTION!
* Secondary characters were the main couple in a past book
* Other secondary characters get paired up by the final scene aka Everyone Gets An HEA
* Heroine leads a revolt among traditional people with her Western ideas....and there is success! (In this one, it was a Lysistrata-esque boycott with the Bedouin wives.)
* The specter of Certain Death prompts Hero and Heroine to bump uglies before they die
* Heroine apologizes for being a virgin and not pleasing him (and the Hero reassures her)
* Heroine flaunts local customs just for the hell of it, then gets huffy when they get huffy
* Kindly old relative dies in a Very Sentimental Scene
* Heroine throws herself in front of Hero and takes the abuse from the Villain

I'm sure there's more, but it's all a blur at the moment.

› Go to Amazon U.S. to see the review  1.0 out of 5 stars