Let's cut right to the chase by saying that this movie reeks, and should never be viewed by any human being. However since I'm a reviewer here it's not that easy. Sure it's a blast to make fun of and there's lots of material to work with, but this is the review on the movie itself, not how much fun you can have with it. The "plot", if you can stretch the word that far, is about a wealthy man who has been wantonly destroying wildlife in the Florida Bayou finds that a swarm of murderous frogs is closing in on his own mansion habitat. Having said that, Frogs is a dumb little horror movie, and how much you enjoy it depends on your tolerance for wooden acting, silly death scenes, and lots of stock footage of reptiles and amphibians just sitting around. Since I have a since of humor, that spells F-U-N for me.:) In all seriousness however, The Crocker mansion rests on a secluded island in the middle of a swamp. After freelance photographer Pickett Smith is nearly killed while canoeing, by drunken idiot Clint, Smith is invited up to the family estate. There he meets Clint's "cute" sister miserable grand-pappy and about 12 other idiots who act just obnoxious enough for us to cheer when they eventually get eaten up. Even by the standard of B-movies, this one has a whole lot of blah-blah scenes. Dialogue such as "Where's Maybelle and Grover?" and "What happened to Iris?" permeate every scene. In order to best showcase the whole "frogs" theme, each and every sequence in the movie is followed by a shot of dozens of slimy, writhing frogs. They never really do anything, but we know they're there, just waiting. The clan has gathered at the mansion to celebrate several birthdays, drink a lot and do a lot of complaining about how 'loud those damn frogs are'. Nasty old grandpa has decided to poison the frogs, but since his handyman has yet to return from the creek, it's safe to assume everyone's gonna die, and in very silly ways. Snakes hang from chandeliers, lizards take over the greenhouse, and still - the frogs watch...and wait. Now here's a shocker, are ya ready? The Frogs, curiously enough, don't commit any crimes. They are basically by standards, and do absolutely nothing to harm anybody!!!! They leave it up to their buddies to do all the dirty work, while the icky amphibians simply sit in the background, enjoying the havoc. These rich snobs get snakebit, tarantula cocooned, chomped by big turtles, sucked on by leeches, and even poisoned by the world's smartest monitor lizards. Up until the final scene, when they hop gleefully on a corpse, the frogs are merely the ringleaders. To put this into the simplest terms possible, this "movie" is dumb! If Frogs is a movie you plan to seek out, I certainly couldn't talk you out of it.
