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Product Description
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When Harville Hendrix writes about relationships, he discusses them not just as an educator and a therapist, but as a man who has himself been through a failed marriage. Hendrix felt the sting of his divorce intensely because he believed it signaled not only his failure as a husband but also his failure as a couples counselor. Investigating why his marriage dissolved led him to start looking into the psychology of love. Marriage, he ultimately discovered, is the "practice of becoming passionate friends."
As a result of his research, Hendrix created a therapy he calls Imago Relationship Therapy. In it, he combines what he's learned in a number of disciplines, including the behavioral sciences, depth psychology, cognitive therapy, and Gestalt therapy, to name just a few. He expounds upon this approach in Getting the Love You Want: A Guide for Couples. His purpose in writing the book, he says, is "to share with you what I have learned about the psychology of love relationships, and to help you transform your relationship into a lasting source of love and companionship."
Divided into three sections, the book covers "The Unconscious Marriage," which details a marriage in which the remaining desires and behavior of childhood interfere with the current relationship; "The Conscious Marriage," which shows a marriage that fulfils those childhood needs in a positive manner; and a 10-week "course in relationship therapy, " which gives detailed exercises for you and your partner to follow in order to learn how to "replace confrontation and criticism ... with a healing process of mutual growth and support." The text is occasionally dry and technical; however, the information provided is valuable, the case studies are interesting, and the exercises are revealing and helpful. By utilizing his program, Hendrix hopes you too will be able to solve your marital difficulties without the expense of a therapist. --Jenny Brown --This text refers to an out of print or unavailable edition of this title.
Review
“I know of no better guide for couples who genuinely desire a maturing relationship.”
—M. Scott Peck, author of The Road Less Traveled
"Getting the Love You Want is a remarkable book--the most incisive and persuasive I have ever read on the knotty problems of marriage relationships."--Ann Roberts, Former President, Rockefeller Family Fund
"Harville Hendrix offers the best program I've seen for using the love/hate energy in marriage to help a couple heal one another and to become whole together."--T. George Harris, Editor-in-Chief, American Health magazine
"This book will help any couple find the love they want hidden under all the concealing confusion of a close and intimate relationship. I have seen these principles in application and they work!"--James A. Hall, M.D.
—M. Scott Peck, author of The Road Less Traveled
"Getting the Love You Want is a remarkable book--the most incisive and persuasive I have ever read on the knotty problems of marriage relationships."--Ann Roberts, Former President, Rockefeller Family Fund
"Harville Hendrix offers the best program I've seen for using the love/hate energy in marriage to help a couple heal one another and to become whole together."--T. George Harris, Editor-in-Chief, American Health magazine
"This book will help any couple find the love they want hidden under all the concealing confusion of a close and intimate relationship. I have seen these principles in application and they work!"--James A. Hall, M.D.
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First Sentence
WHEN COUPLES COME to me for marital therapy, I usually ask them how they met. Read the first page
Front Cover | Copyright | Table of Contents | Excerpt | Back Cover
WHEN COUPLES COME to me for marital therapy, I usually ask them how they met. Read the first page
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Front Cover | Copyright | Table of Contents | Excerpt | Back Cover
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Most helpful customer reviews
2 of 2 people found the following review helpful
1.0 out of 5 stars
Great book for those seeking answers outside themselves,
This review is from: Getting the Love You Want: A Guide for Couples with a New Foreword by the Author (Paperback)
I originally thought this book had some useful information until I read "Passionate Marriage" by David Schnarch. The failings of this book are that it takes the Freudian approach and seeks most of its answers in childhood experiences and trauma while at the same time suggesting that your partner is there to "fix" things. The end result is that we end up relying on someone us to "take care of us." Passionate Marriage (don't be turned off by the title) takes the unique approach of personal accountability and integrity in relationships. When you're ready to do the "hard stuff" and dispel the relationship myths and expectations that doom most marriages, pick up Schnarch's book. It's not about fixing the relationship or your partner -- it's about fixing yourself.
1 of 1 people found the following review helpful
4.0 out of 5 stars
Must Reading for All Couples!,
By BL (New Jersey, USA) - See all my reviews
This review is from: Getting the Love You Want: A Guide for Couples (Paperback)
My therapist recommended this book to me and I must say I learned more about myself and my spouse in a couple of weeks then I have learned in 11 years of marriage. The book is very easy reading and really makes one think about how we think, how we respond to people and provides steps to make changes in relationships. The book also explains how our childhood plays an important part in who we are and how we deal in relationships. I'm not yet finished with the book, but I've already told my wife to please read the book. I believe that if we follow what is written in the book, our marriage can be saved and that we can be happy once again.
1 of 1 people found the following review helpful
4.0 out of 5 stars
An excellent guide for a mature couple,
By A Customer
This review is from: Getting the Love You Want: A Guide for Couples (Paperback)
This book is definitely an eye opener into your own self, and why we are who we are and why we choose the mate we do. This book is an excellent guide for any couple who are mature enough to know they want a lifetime committment to each other and want to understand each other and communicate with one another more effectively. This book probably would not be much help to a couple that is extremely young, i.e. teens, or who are still immature themselves. If you are willing to make the committment and want a more fulfilling and meaningful relationship with your partner, this is definitely an excellent guide, but both partners would need to be as committed as the other to wanting to make the relationship work. Dr. Hendrix's exercises at the end of the book are invaluable and really changed our relationship for the better.
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