on May 18, 2007
That might be a better title for this book. Although I don't think it could have a better cover. The cover alone tells you it gets women and it's a smart book. Pick up books for guys almost always have some woman in a bikini on the front or just a close up on her backside, which is "covered" by a thong. The books are immediately insulting to women. Dating advice books for women do the same thing. They have something on the cover that turns off guys, like usually a dork picking his nose or something. The cover of this book is intriguing. It's kind of mysterious and I want to know. A prime example of the author illustrating his "be myterious, make her want to know more" ideology. I did want to know more. I laugh at the fridge because I know it's a guys, what with the gross towel and "grocery list," featuring "condoms" as the main course. Then of course there's the title. God is a woman? Tell me more! It's not offensive to women, it's intriguing.
The book opens with a brief explanation and then introduces the very funny concept that God is a woman and how the author knows it for sure. He pokes fun at both men and women and we are hooked. Very clever. Because in the very first two stories he lays on some of the most graphic descriptions in the book. But I don't mind because he's already got me laughing and feeling good. The descriptions just make things funnier and turn the heat up (and they're nothing like a steamy romance novel). The whole thing reminds me of getting picked up by a guy who's really good at it. It always goes like this:
The guy meets you, he flirts right away, lays on a few compliments, gets you laughing, you drink a little more, you laugh some more, the compliments and flirtation becomes more and more graphic. You know you should get away but you don't want to. You feel good and you're hooked. You wonder "How good can he really make me feel? Is he a good kisser? I like his mouth." By the time you're naked on his couch you think "How did I end up here? How did this whole thing get started?"
You're not offended as a woman by the graphic descriptions that pop up in this book because they pop up just like that; gradually, not abruptly like men's magazines. This author shows he knows what he'd doing, not just by telling us his experiences and advice but by laying the book out in the same format of his approach. It's INGENIOUS! And scary. He knows what we want and more importantly, when we want it. All women want sex. It's the TIMING of suggesting it and making moves that screws up most guys. It's the not perparing or setting the tone.
This author lives in Chicago, where he is getting a good buzz over the last few weeks, as he has been on the news a few times. I hope I don't run into him in a bar out here while I'm working on my consulting project... I could find myself on his sofa pretty easily, I think.
This book forces us to take a very honest look at ourselves and makes us laugh the entire journey.
on March 1, 2007
[...]Here is the review -
This book shocked me with its great advice for women. It really has a different angle and logically explains why much of what women do to get the right guy doesn't work. I bought it because I was stuck in an airport due to snow and needed something to read. It was by a comedian, so I expected it to be funny, but, even though it said it had good advice for men and women, I didn't think it would have any for women. I was very wrong.
This book works on every level. The storytelling is intriguing and hilarious. We empathize with Ian as he goes from nice to guy to frustrated guy to cool guy to outright jerk to cool guy, again. He shares with us - some times offensive with vividness - his thoughts and actions, and how those thoughts and actions humorously resulted in him screwing up everything with some woman. But he learns several things from each story, highlights them, then puts them to use in another story, getting a little further to figuring we women out along the way, until we are putty in his hand and he wakes up one day to realize that he is abusing the putty.
For guys or girls, this is a must-read. Period. For men, Ian teaches you how to flirt and why it's important, how to develop a sense of humor and confidence, what "being mysterious" to women really means, and on and on. For women, he offers advice both by putting us in his head and by giving it straight out, without holding punches. Like I said, it does get graphic in places, but that just makes the stories funnier and the book more honest. It's not as bad as most PG-13 movies these days or anything like a CSI episode, and none of it is violent.
Ian offers women advice by writing things like, "Your friends' opinions should never carry more weight than your own." I think a lot of women let their friends' opinions dictate much of what they do, even more so than their own opinion does. "Many women mistake what they wish they wanted with what they want, which screws them up a lot." How many times have you said you wanted a smart, nice guy but keep falling for dumb jerks? He goes on to talk about ways to break this habit. "Women forget their audience when going out to meet men. Much of what they do and wear is to stay in the favor of other women, not for men." He tells about how he's often heard women out at a bar, upset some girl is talking to a guy they want to talk to, say things like, "I can't believe he's talking to her. I mean, look at those shoes." "No guy, ever in the history of humankind, has ever said, 'Wow, look at her. She's beautiful. She has a great rack, sweet smile, she's pretty, seems conversational and laughs a lot. Too bad about those shoes. Shall we head some place else, guys?" "Remember your audience is men, not women," Ian advises. He says the best thing a woman could wear to meet a good guy to date is tight jeans, a fitting top, and a smile. After reading that I realized that almost all my married friends and I met our husbands while we were looking what we thought was our worse, like tight jeans and a t-shirt! He has all sorts of good advice like this.
I can't say enough good things about this book. It has it all. Great advice, funny stories, and is a quick, easy read. No psychological mumbo-jumbo to sift thru. [...].
on June 19, 2007
Very well written book!! This book gives great advice, presented in a way that cannot be found anywhere else; from a person who experienced many rejections and had the guts to share those `failures'. I felt that the last chapter did not quite tie in to why God is a Woman, however, the book in its entirety paints a pretty good picture of the `how's' and `why's' men and women sometimes can have the same dating goals and not see the indicators.
Many books will give great advise on identifying those social indicators, however, what sets this book apart is his advise on how to discern observed behavior (why guys use lines, how to see signs if a relationship is truly platonic, why women fall for jerks, indicators that a woman is really interested, etc.) and how to handle each `failed' situation without being deceitful or manipulative. For the female reader, this is a great book to get into the mindset of men. For me, this book gave me some great insight on how to interact with women without being untrue to myself.
I find it interesting that he has the hard earned opportunity to become a famous comedian but chose to become a writer. Who would have thought that a comedian has the same dating woes as the next man (or woman)? In a humorous, autobiographical way, I enjoyed his insights on developing better interpersonal and self reflective skills to overcome fear of rejection; most importantly, to accept that failures are a part of success. Want more meaningful relationships and personal fulfillment? READ THIS BOOK!!! Some things are common sense (protection, preparation,etc.), some things are not so common sense (need to read the book).
on April 26, 2007
Since the beginning of time women have wanted to know what goes on in men's minds. Well Ian Coburn gives it to us. Boy does he give it to us. "I wanted to take her top off and go to town on her breasts with my tongue." Yikes! No doubt some women will be offended by these types of graphic descriptions that occur in several places throughout the book, but I found it refreshingly honest and, in the spirit of honesty, somewhat arousing. I wanted to know and now I do. Having been a waitress and bartender throughout and right after college, I especially found his chapter on the hospitality industry and dating to be right on. We don't love you guys just because we bring you beer! Kudos to Ian for having the guts to tell it like it is, not just with the descriptive desires of his mind but also with very personal things, like graduating college still a virgin. I don't think many guys would admit to that. Mostly, Ian is honest with his hilarious, always disastrous escapades with women. It does indeed seem like God is a woman and she is against him. I laughed out loud throughout the entire book as I kept thinking "Oh no, please don't...don't...don't...oh, you idiot!" A remarkable thing happens to Ian, though. His disasters teach him things about women; which he succinctly reviews after each chapter. In a few years he goes from dating dud to dating stud. Actually, he becomes a complete jerk, getting laid at will and even hooking up with twins. Later he realizes it and corrects himself, finding that all important balance he recommends. The whole story of his growth is quite intriguing and as a woman I could see our role in creating this beast, with some of the games and frustrations we play on men.
There is lots of great insight in this book for both men and women. Ian talks about why men like younger women - not because of their younger looks but because they are more lively and less skeptical than older women, many of whom have wasted years trying to force one boyfriend be who they want him to be instead of just accepting that he isn't that guy and moving on to find the right one; he tells younger women to avoid that and older women to be more lively and less skeptical, so that they will be approachable to guys. That women are not good communicators (that I felt was not true until I read his explanation - women are in touch with their emotions and know what's bothering them, but they don't communicate it well, oftentimes just yelling, "If you don't know what's bothering me, I'm not going to tell you!" three weeks after it bothers us. Men communicate well, they just don't know what their feelings are a lot or what is bothering them. That actually is very true.) 'It's a woman's perrogative to change her mind' really means women don't want to be accountable for a decision in the first place. It goes on and on, literally full of advice, all woven into these hilarious stories. It is a must-read, hands down. Just be ready for some graphic details. I look forward to reading Ian's advice for women on Lifetime's website, where he starts giving advice as an expert to women in June.
on June 28, 2007
The stories in are hilarious; this is the funniest book I have ever read. This is the best book in the genre of sex and dating advice. Unlike other books in the genre it makes absolutely no sacrifices. It does not sacrifice story for advice or advice for story. It has it all. Think of it like the original Star Wars vs Phantom Menace. Phantom Menace has lots of cool effects and features and great lightsaber fight scenes but the story isn't there. Star Wars has it all, great effects and great story. That's GOD IS A WOMAN.
on December 1, 2010
I found out about this book from a review of another book on dating I was thinking of buying. Man am I glad I bought this book instead. It was full of funny stories that kept me reading till I finished it in one sitting. I just couldn't put it down, sleep be damned. It was filled with dating failures and analysis on why it went wrong each time. It is such a change from the books I've read where the author just brags about how awesome he is and doesn't tell you why his method works, only that it works and you should follow it. That usually entails using his stupid canned material instead of being the best that YOU can be. All of Ian's advice rings true with experience I've had, or that my friends have had. The odd thing is I think this book would be good for women to read too. It doesn't have as many tips for them (there are a few tips just for women) but the stories are funny and women could learn some lessons from this book too. I'm definitely going to reread it now at a slower pace so I can really take in each piece of advice. The first time through was more about reading all the funny stories. Great book.
on August 10, 2007
I've been following this author since I read the book because his advice is so good and charismatic. What's amazing is that he appeals to both men and women. Most chick lit only appeals to women and books for men insult women. One day on his blog he mentions a review of the book on the Mystery Method Forum--who raved about how good it is--the next, he announces that he is an expert on the Lifetime Love Panel for Lifetime TV's web site. (He is.) This just demonstrates how his knowledge is for both genders and how hilarious his stories are. The book has gotten him a dating column called Lunch Is Not A Date, which is the only dating column I've ever seen that actually has relevant, helpful advice and is witty and fun.
If you're a woman, this book will give you great insight into what actually goes on in a guy's mind and laugh at how stupid Ian is with women at the start. Then you'll be impressed at how good he becomes as you witness his growth. You'll get lots of great advice that will make you re-think your approach to dating.
For men, I've flipped thru some of the other books out there that supposedly tell you how to meet women. They are insulting and sophmoric. If you think that means this book is wimpy, you are wrong. It is far more graphic than those other books. It is also honest and hilarious and the approaches to women are right on target; things I wouldn't have thought of but that definitely would and do work on me and my friends and any women I know. How can I explain it best? While other "experts" are comfortable with their game and focus on it, Ian is comfortable with women and focuses on them. It enables him to say alot of things those other guys wouldn't dare say in their books, yet get away with it and not insult women. He understands the timing and approach and that is the key. I haven't seen that in other books for guys, just alot of pushing of a technique. They don't talk about listening to women and responding; they don't talk about anything except pushing their lame approach. No matter what the woman says, no matter what she does, even if she's not interested (oh, they don't call her a "woman"; they call her a "target". Classy. Ian knows much better than to use such terms. He can describe a woman's body and what goes thru his sometimes dirty but honest mind, and it's non-offensive because it's about a woman, not a "target." That one word alone demonstrates that those other books don't know anything about women.) Even if she isn't interested just keep pushing. I've got news for you, my friends and I had guys bounced out of bars for not leaving us alone on more than one occassion. Some of them claimed to be pick-up artists. I didn't know what that meant until I read this book and Amazon started pushing pick-up artist books on me because I bought this one. The problem with those guys wasn't that we didn't like them, at least at first; it was because they just ignored most of what we said and kept very obviously using techniques they had learned, like "negging", which I've learned is to put down a part of a woman and keep doing so, like her mouth isn't quite right and they find that cute. I'd ask a question and the guy would respond about the mole on my cheek. "Some guys don't like a mark like that and consider it a disfigurement. I think it's sexy." What does that have to do with what I just aked? Pay attention to me! When we asked them to go away because we were tired of them, they kept coming. We had them bounced. They have no concept of timing and how to pay a compliment. Ian would say the same thing but just say "That mole is turning me on." He might even add to it (and probably would) and say something like "That mole is turning me on. Now take off your shirt." It would make me laugh, be part joke, part serious and make me wonder if he was really serious. He would do this at the right time, not when he should be answering my question. Notice that he also doesn't put me down - unncecessary and rude, definitely a turn-off. He's big on pay attention and not having a set routine. "Get comfortable with women" "pay attention" "use what's around you (the common-denominator, as he calls it), not a line" he says and he shows you how to do those things.
Maybe that's the biggest reason women like this book; we want guys to be comfortable with us and pay attention to us; we want nice buys but they don't have a clue; this book will make you a better, more desirable guy, not a creep who's really just after sex. One of those other "experts" wears a hat everywhere just so he can use it in his routine to get a woman. That's lame, obvious, and the hat is ugly. If he put it on my head (that's his gimmick) I'd throw it at him and I guarantee that's happened to him time after time, whether he admits it or not. Ian wrote somewhere "get comfortable with women, not your game." That's the best advice you could get.
on June 22, 2012
Only reason I gave it 2 stars is because it is entertaining if it wasn't then it would have gotten only one star.
First off this book offers little advice on how to "pick up" women. He keeps talking about what went wrong on his various escapades with hot women that are unattainable by most guys. Like the time he was back at these "professional lingerie model's" hotel room and narrowly missed sex. Or how things went wrong on his date with hot bikini shooter girl. Or how that chick with the perfect body ended up giving him a hand job in his car because her forgot to have a rubber handy.
I will remember all this advice the next time I'm on a date with 2 lingerie models or a bikini shooter girl
on January 10, 2014
Pretty weak book. Just a few stories with not much of a point to them all. I bought this book after it was mentioned in the reviews of another decent book I had read. I should have read the reviews on this book before buying.
on June 30, 2014
a very smart written book. It will make you laugh while reading the stories. A easy read with some good insights about dating and people in general.