Godzilla(Special Edition)

Whether or not you perceive him as a hero or villain, there's no doubt that Godzilla has become a global name. The old Godzilla movies have always been known for their outlandish storylines, cheesy special effects, fake costumes and sets, and overall lack of realism. But in the end, they were still surprisingly entertaining. Dean Devlin and Roland Emmerich try to achieve that same notion with their own version of the monster. The 'campy but fun' formula worked well with the old Godzilla, but it fails miserably with this one. The old Godzilla movies may have been cheesy, but at least they aspired to be good, fun and charming. They weren't shallow and soulless and all were made with a technique that worked. You can tell the filmmakers tried. Too bad it's not the same case here.

It's difficult to watch this movie and not compare it to the original Toho creation. The Toho Godzilla movies featured gibberish plots and obviously fake laughable production, but at least they didn't insult your intelligence. This Godzilla film showcases absolutely no hint of logic, especially regarding the size of the creature. We can see Godzilla towering over New York's tallest skyscrapers yet it can fit in the subway tunnels and evenly distribute eggs inside Madison Square Garden. As usual, the military is always determined to destroy a monster in a monster movie, but here they are made to look like a bunch of bumbling idiots, always being outwitted and losing track of a creature that size in Manhattan. Godzilla has the ability to breathe fire, yet he doesn't even use it. The characters serve no purpose here except to witness Godzilla get assaulted and killed. It's one ridiculous action scene after another. To top it all off, the soundtrack of the movie has Puff Daddy butchering the riff of Led Zeppelin's 'Kashmir'.

It's not common for many movies to deserve one star. Godzilla is one of those movies. There's nothing wrong with creating a Godzilla movie or any cheesy monster flick, it just has to be executed correctly. The Japanese makers of Godzilla make Devlin and Emmerich look like amateurs. There is no heart to this film whatsoever, a ploy to cash in on an already infamous hero to many. A lizard arrives in a city, is angered and attacked by humans and dies. Dean Devlin and Roland Emmerich prove once again that they are two of the worst filmmakers in history. They take cult classic genres and turn them into mainstream abominations enhanced with action-oriented special effects. Independence Day was a disgrace to sci-fi alien invasion movies and now this. The original 1954 Godzilla and Godzilla 1985 were no masterpieces, but they were still far more entertaining than this one. Look past the dull action scenes and special effects, and the rest of the movie's attributes wear thin quickly (like most of Devlin and Emmerich's work). This is a bad movie, but most of all, it's empty and downright forgettable.

We picked this movie because it was fun. It gave us all the elements: funny, suspence, romance, commarodery. The charatures were believable. And it left you with a maybe more feeling. We have seen it 4 times so far.

This movie's biggest problem is its title. I can't imagine how much money it took for Toho to permit American filmmakers to completely reinvent Godzilla in such an appalling way. As a Godzilla purist, I have to say that the monster in this film is a CGI imposter who has little if nothing to do with the real thing. Godzilla does not have remarkably svelte, feminine legs and he most certainly does not lay eggs - even the son of Godzilla was adopted. I was willing to play along with Toho in 1985 and pretend that all of the Godzilla sequels up to that point never really existed, but I'm not going to accept this Americanized monster as Godzilla. It would have been much better (and probably much cheaper) just to call this thing Reptilosaurus or Freakin' Huge Monster or The Monster That Ate New York - anything but Godzilla.

All my Godzilla issues aside, this really isn't that bad of a movie. This was intended to be a "popcorn" movie, a summer action blockbuster that sought merely to entertain - and I did find it entertaining. Heck, I even liked the French guy, and that almost never happens. Of course, it was the French who got New York into this mess with their atomic tests, but here they actually recognize that a problem exists and do something to rectify the situation - that, even more than the CGI Godzilla's wake of destruction - is how you know this is pure fiction. Matthew Broderick carries the film pretty well as "the worm guy," and that Maria Pitillo is just cute as a button. Harry Shearer's rather needless role as the smarmy local news anchor is interesting only because of the Simpsons connection (apparently, his real voice is that of Principal Skinner). Hank Azaria, who can be annoying at times, adds some great comedy to the film, which prevents him from being completely overshadowed by the mysterious French agent Philippe (Jean Reno).

There's plenty of action - there's no denying that fact. What Godzilla doesn't tear up himself, the military destroys in the process of trying to kill the world's biggest illegal alien. Bombs, explosions, tanks, rifles, missiles by land, sea, and air - they're all here in droves. Then, of course you have the whole siege of Madison Square Garden by untold numbers of baby monsters. And then, just when you think the credits are about to roll, the biggest chase scene of the whole movie takes place. None of it is remotely plausible, but it's not supposed to be. For some, such as me, the film is ultimately rather sad. Here's this monster created by radiation, and all he wants is to raise a family - and then he has to watch his whole world fall apart and ultimately fail.

There is a bit of the oddball in this film. I am still trying to figure what the heck the deal was with the Siskert and Ebert parody (Mayor Ebert and his assistant Gene). Where in the world did this come from? Did someone actually think this would be funny? It's really just extremely silly, and it does the film no good whatsoever. You can also add some really stupid lines of dialogue to the movie's faults -New Yorkers arguing over driving directions while the monster is breathing down their tail, the "That's a lot of fish" throwaway line, etc. The movie is also pretty long - many will find it too long, but I rarely mind getting extra minutes for my money. Ultimately, though, this film relies far too much on special effects; give me the guy in the big rubber suit any old day. Notwithstanding this, however, the film does what it sets out to do, and it succeeds rather well at meeting its less than lofty goals; first and foremost, this is, after all, nothing more than a "popcorn" movie.