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Going Nowhere Fast [Audio Cassette]

Gar Anthony Haywood , Fran L. Washington
4.3 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (3 customer reviews)

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Kindle Edition CDN $3.26  
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Mass Market Paperback CDN $7.99  
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Audio, Cassette, September 1998 --  
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Book Description

September 1998
Joe Loudermilk, a recently retired police officer, and his wife, Dottie, throw caution to the wind, leave their stable life and hit the road in a newly acquired Airstream trailer home. As parents of five grown children, each one a pain, they're only too happy to leave them and their problems behind.

While visiting the Grand Canyon, Joe and Dottie return to their home on wheels to find their youngest son, known as Bad Dog, hiding in a closet with a gun in his hand - and a dead man on the toilet. Believing Bad Dog's innocence, they take off across the Arizona desert in search of the killer with the FBI, the National Park Service, the LA Raiders and the Mob on their heels.
--This text refers to an out of print or unavailable edition of this title.

Product Details


Product Description

From Publishers Weekly

The Shamus Award-winning author of the Aaron Gunner series (including You Can Die Trying ) takes an unfortunate detour with this tale of a retired couple on a cross-country trip in their new Airstream trailer home. Near the Grand Canyon, Dottie and Joe Loudermilk are visited by Bad Dog, their youngest, least loved and most troublesome child, and find a dead man in their toilet. The dead man has an assumed name, Bad Dog is being pursued by a very large, very angry pro football player and soon cops and government agents are beating a path to the Loudermilks' Airstream. Meant to be funny, the earnestly madcap narrative is mostly repetitive--former policeman Joe mutters, "Jeeze Looweez," every second page, while narrator Dottie routinely--and patronizingly--placates him. The plot is carried by coincidence and the semi-moronic Bad Dog's sporadic moments of criminality, which are nowhere near inspired enough to keep this series launch up to speed. Mystery Guild selection; Literary Guild alternate.
Copyright 1994 Reed Business Information, Inc. --This text refers to an out of print or unavailable edition of this title.

From Library Journal

During a visit to the Grand Canyon, retired policeman Big Joe Loudermilk and his bumptious wife Dottie return to their newly acquired Airstream trailer from a morning run only to find an unknown corpse in the bathroom. Park rangers, police, mobsters, and the FBI variously harass the Loudermilks and their thickheaded youngest son until Dottie, dragging husband and son behind her, sets out on a quest for the truth. Deft, descriptive touches and humorous family interaction provide credibility in this departure from Haywood's Aaron Gunner detective series. Featherweight, delightful adventure.
Copyright 1994 Reed Business Information, Inc. --This text refers to an out of print or unavailable edition of this title.

Customer Reviews

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4.3 out of 5 stars
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Most helpful customer reviews
By A Customer
Format:Mass Market Paperback
What do you do when you're kids are grown and won't leave home? Sell the house and buy an Airstream trailer. Afterall, they can't find a moving target, or CAN they? Joe and Dottie Loudermilk, a retired policeman and teacher, respectively, have taken early retirement and hit the road in "Lucille," their Airstream trailer. It's an ideal life until they reach the Grand Canyon and their son, "Theodore," aka "Bad Dog" shows up unexpectedly. He's not alone. Joe and Dottie also find a dead man sitting on the toilet! There's a mystery to be solved and Dottie's going to do it. (Joe's going to help; he just doesn't know it yet.) And the fun begins. After writing the hard-boiled Aaron Gunnar mysteries, it's good to see Gar Anthony Haywood have some fun. The book is funny, suspenseful and unpredictable. The only thing better than the novel is the audiocassette version with Fran Washington narrating.
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4.0 out of 5 stars great book... March 19 1999
Format:Mass Market Paperback
It was heartwarming to read about a middle class African American family who encountered the same or similar problems of our blue-eyed brothers and sisters. I WANT TO READ MORE OF THE LOUDERMILKS...WHEN IS THE NEXT ADVENTURE....IT HAS BEEN TOOO LONG..
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4.0 out of 5 stars Enjoyable reading Sept. 6 2013
Format:Kindle Edition|Verified Purchase
Short and entertaining read. However, continuity was a bit out of whack. A lot of coincidence happening that I thought was a bit too much, but I guess needed for a short story.
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Most Helpful Customer Reviews on Amazon.com (beta)
Amazon.com: 3.6 out of 5 stars  147 reviews
30 of 31 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars Wonderful romp that's offbeat and just quirky enough! July 4 2013
By Denise Weeks - Published on Amazon.com
Format:Kindle Edition
Let me be the first to review this wonderful book, now being reissued for the Kindle after being practically impossible to find. I don't want to give away the plot, but if you've read the author's description of the book above, you've got the gist of it. Joe and Dottie Loudermilk, retired African-American couple with many grown children, become RV travelers to get away from the demands of their crazy kids. (LOL) If that doesn't grab you, I don't know what will. But it's all in vain, as trouble seems to follow them in the form of a couple of their children. You'll laugh and you'll enjoy this great light read. It's funny and sincere. No gore or icky stuff, and no pets are hurt. What's not to like? It meets MY criteria for a mystery.

Why, it's almost as great as MY books. (Kidding!! Don't remove my review!!)

Recommended. Now go download.
17 of 18 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars Going Nowhere Fast July 26 2013
By Mark R. Turner - Published on Amazon.com
Format:Kindle Edition
We all dream of being free, able to do what we want, when we want to with nothing to distract you but your own decisions. That is what recently retired Joe and Dotty Laudermilk are hoping for in the re-release of Gar Anthony Harwood's funny and engaging mystery, Going Nowhere Fast. Heywood has brought to life the perfect yin and yang of a married couple with retired police officer Joe and his patient and understanding (up to a point) wife, Dotty. Their dream is to hop in their brand new camper and see the country while gladly leaving behind the chaos that is their five children. Understand that this is no ordinary camper but a true home on wheels called an Airstream. Without a doubt it is Joe's pride and joy. But their peaceful retirement meandering interrupted while visiting the Grand Canyon. Returning from an afternoon run they find that their Airstream has been not only their freeloading youngest son but also a dead man sitting on their toilet. Even though they get cleared of any crime by the local sheriff's department, Joe and Dotty soon find themselves trying to stay one step ahead of not only the FBI but an irate All-Pro defensive lineman and their not so bright youngest son, Bad Dog.

With Going Nowhere Fast Haywood has crafted a taut, funny novel filled with delightful twists and turns. If you ever wished you could just spend your time seeing the sights of the country you might want to read Going Nowhere Fast before you do and see what all can go wrong.
4 of 4 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars It's very hard to read when you're laughing so hard! Oct. 7 1997
By A Customer - Published on Amazon.com
Format:Mass Market Paperback
What do you do when you're kids are grown and won't leave home? Sell the house and buy an Airstream trailer. Afterall, they can't find a moving target, or CAN they? Joe and Dottie Loudermilk, a retired policeman and teacher, respectively, have taken early retirement and hit the road in "Lucille," their Airstream trailer. It's an ideal life until they reach the Grand Canyon and their son, "Theodore," aka "Bad Dog" shows up unexpectedly. He's not alone. Joe and Dottie also find a dead man sitting on the toilet! There's a mystery to be solved and Dottie's going to do it. (Joe's going to help; he just doesn't know it yet.) And the fun begins. After writing the hard-boiled Aaron Gunnar mysteries, it's good to see Gar Anthony Haywood have some fun. The book is funny, suspenseful and unpredictable. The only thing better than the novel is the audiocassette version with Fran Washington narrating.
8 of 10 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars Great book! July 10 2013
By Elaine G - Published on Amazon.com
Format:Kindle Edition|Verified Purchase
You are going to love Joe and Dottie. This book has a great plot and wonderful characters. I can't wait to start the next one.
2 of 2 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars The African-American version of McMillan & Wife. March 14 2002
By Blackworm - Published on Amazon.com
Format:Hardcover
GOING NOWHERE FAST takes time to introduce Joe and Dottie Loudermilk in their souped-up winebago, traveling here and there, and ending up at a pit stop with two unwanted passengers...baby son(aptly nicknamed), Bad Dog, and a dead white man in there mobile bathroom. The Loudermilks related to each other as if we had known them all along, and the totally manic/off-center Dog will remind you of that one member of your family that acts as if needs Pat Sajak to buy a clue, when all along, he knows more than he's willing to admit. Characterization hits high notes, and the mystery, while simple enough to follow, will take you along until bad guys have been caught and you want to see them in print again.
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