- Paperback: 368 pages
- Publisher: Grand Central Publishing (Oct 1 1996)
- Language: English
- ISBN-10: 0446672483
- ISBN-13: 978-0446672481
- Product Dimensions: 13.3 x 2.5 x 20.3 cm
- Shipping Weight: 318 g
- Average Customer Review: 4.6 out of 5 stars See all reviews (20 customer reviews)
- Amazon Bestsellers Rank: #122,699 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)
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Product Details |
Product Description
From Amazon.com
Inspired by the hope that the experience of satisfied husbands and wives might provide useful lessons to others, Wallerstein, a clinical psychologist and specialist on divorce, and Sandra Blakeslee, who writes frequently for The New York Times, interviewed 50 predominantly middle-class, northern California couples who had been married nine years or more and had at least one child. These strong marriages flourish, they argue, because every partner confronted a series of psychological tasks including separating emotionally from the family of childhood, carving out his or her autonomy and creating an environment where anger and conflict could be safely vented. The couples reveal their interior lives in rich, explicit detail.
--This text refers to an out of print or unavailable edition of this title.
From Publishers Weekly
Based on interviews with 50 happily married couples, this book examines the factors that allow relationships to succeed.
Copyright 1996 Reed Business Information, Inc.
Copyright 1996 Reed Business Information, Inc.
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Most helpful customer reviews
5.0 out of 5 stars
Wonderful book,
By MotherLodeBeth "MotherLodeBeth" (Sierras of California) - See all my reviews
This review is from: The Good Marriage: How and Why Love Lasts (Paperback)
What caught my eye about this ingrossing and captivating book began on page 20 where the author is describing a variety of couples she has interviewed for her study and that while each of them is unique and in some place 180 opposite is that "I realized then that each of these marriages was a different world, a sovereign country unto itself. Rather than a single archetype of happy marriage, I found many different kinds. Like a richly detailed tapestry, each relationship was woven from strands of love, friendship, sexual fulfillment, nurture, protection, emotional security, economic responsibility, and co-parenting. But the patterns in the marital weave varied, and gradually I began to see several distinctive types. I learned that at the heart of any good marriage is a core relationship created out of the conscious and unconcisous fit of the partners needs and wishes. This core reflects what each partner wants and expects from the other -- expectations influenced by relationships that begin in infancy, childhood, and adolescence but are ultimately shaped within marriage", or what the author and I agree are core loves, likes and can live with.And I simply loved reading about all the different couples, varied challenges and successes and failures that didn't make the marriages fall a part. Simply a wonderful book.
5.0 out of 5 stars
We could surely use more studies like this one,
By Brad4d "bb" (United States) - See all my reviews
This review is from: The Good Marriage: How and Why Love Lasts (Paperback)
The authors bring a rather unusual perspective to the study of marriage -- rather than examining how it has failed or is failing, they examine how marriage can succeed. The book provides a commendable example of a study focusing on success instead of failure. The authors first define a successful marriage, then discuss nine principles common to any good marriage and use several couples as case studies to illustrate and personalize these principles. The book uses a rather small, homogenous, and politically incorrect sample -- nearly all couples were selected by the authors and were lily-white, heterosexual, reasonably honest and cheerful Americans. Of course, many ground-breaking and valid scientific studies have successfully used such small, homogenous and politically incorrect cohorts. The book is not a cross-cultural study, an historical analysis, or a "how-to" guide for "making marriage work," and those whose marriages are in trouble may not find this book much of a substitute for self-analysis or competent counseling.Since history began, in nearly all societies, marriage has successfully survived despite never-ending pressures from those who have sought to abolish, revolutionize, over-idealize, or trivialize it. Marriage has proven flexible, durable, and critically important to individuals and to societies. Nevertheless, individuals and societies should frequently re-examine and re-explore marriage if they are to gain the most benefits from it -- marriage and success are verbs as well as nouns. Marriage and the family certainly need attentive examination today, since they remain under tremendous stresses from those who wish to change (or destroy) them and from forces causing them to fail at an increasing rate. The authors have given us a fine example of such an examination. They write remarkably well (no surprise, given Ms Blakeslee's wonderful columns in the NY Times Science Section, which first drew me to this book). They relate how marriage can be enriching, empowering, dynamic, transformative, redemptive, and positive (I found myself cheering on one of the subjects whose marriage succeeded despite enormous psychological problems dating from his childhood). As the husband of a wife whose parents had a successful marriage, as the child of a successful marriage, and as a member of a thirty-three year old successful marriage, I found the principles outlined in this book to be reasonably accurate and helpful. No book could be the last word, but this one is a fine place to start.
5.0 out of 5 stars
Fascinating for single people, too,
By A Customer
This review is from: The Good Marriage: How and Why Love Lasts (Paperback)
I strongly recommend this book to single people wondering what kind of mate would really be best for them. Ignore those dating manuals and read about the real thing -- the day-to-day relationship that has to be maintained after the wedding. As a woman, I found it fascinating to read so many men's accounts of marriage: how much they love and need their wives, how much a good relationship means to them. Most of us grew up thinking of blissful romance as the only model for marriage, but Wallerstein carefully shows that marriages take many forms. I can't recommend this book highly enough.
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