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He's Just Not That Into You: The No-Excuses Truth to Understanding Guys [Hardcover]

Greg Behrendt , Liz Tuccillo , Lauren Monchik
4.2 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (63 customer reviews)

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Book Description

Sept. 7 2004
Based on an episode of "Sex and the City," offers a lighthearted, no-nonsense look at dead-end relationships, with advice for letting go and moving on.

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Product Details

Product Description

From Publishers Weekly

It’s a classic single-woman scenario: you really like this guy, but he’s giving mixed messages. You make excuses, decide he’s confused, afraid of commitment. Behrendt, a former executive story editor for Sex and the City—and a formerly single (now happily married) guy who knows all the excuses—provides a simple answer: he’s just not that into you. Stop kidding yourself, let go and look for someone else who will be. After all, as Behrendt sensibly puts it, "if a (sane) guy really likes you, there ain’t nothing that’s going to get in his way." If you’re not convinced yet, by all means read this smart, funny and surprisingly upbeat little book, full of q’s and a’s covering every excuse woman has ever made to avoid admitting to herself that a man just wasn’t that smitten with her.
Copyright © Reed Business Information, a division of Reed Elsevier Inc. All rights reserved.

From School Library Journal

Adult/High School–With a bright, breezy style, the authors highlight a list of actions that men take to demonstrate that they are "just not into you," using "Dear Greg" letters and replies, unscientific polls of men, lists reviewing the key points in each chapter, a comic glossary, and laugh-out-loud workbook assignments. Although this book is meant for the 20-plus career women who have been dating for a while, the empowering message that a woman deserves a man who truly loves her and not one that she must constantly make excuses for can't be learned too early.–Jane S. Drabkin, Chinn Park Regional Library, Woodbridge, VA
Copyright © Reed Business Information, a division of Reed Elsevier Inc. All rights reserved.

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Many women have said to me, "Greg, men run the world." Read the first page
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Customer Reviews

Most helpful customer reviews
10 of 11 people found the following review helpful
By Natalie
I found this book to be a very entertaining read. However, I found it only really scratched the surface on the problems that both men and women face on a daily basis. I think the authors over simplified the subject matter. They seem to portray the issues we face as black and white. If only it could be that simple. In fact I wouldn't be in the loving relationship I am today if I followed the advice presented in this book. My man had a lot of challenges from his youth and it took him a long time to come to terms with some of life's issues. If I would have followed the suggestions in this book, I would have not given him the opportunity to discover who he really is.
The book seems to miss the fact that we all have insecurities that affect us. Non of us are perfect. Telling all women that they deserve better is a great way to sell books. However, the statement assumes all women are great. The fact is, all women are not great and do not deserve better. In reality life is more than an episode of a TV series. I found this book to be great for ratings (book sales) and sometimes fun, but it did not leave me wanting more. If you want a fun read, I definitely recommend this book. If you want to look at relationships and life from a different perspective, I recommend Seed's Sketchy Relationship Theories - A Guide to the Perils of Dating (How not to become a bar regular). A little gem I accidentally stumbled across.
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7 of 8 people found the following review helpful
2.0 out of 5 stars Over-rated Nov. 5 2004
By A Customer
Being a big Sex and the City fan myself, I was particularly enthused by the "He's just not that into you" concept. The episode was very intriging and gave me a new perspective on guys and excuses. About 2 chapters into the book, I realized that half of it didn't apply to me. It was extremely biased and based entirely on Greg's opinion. I agree that all the excuses written about were pathetic and women should not fall for them. But the examples were unrealistic, women were portrayed as pathetic, weak, materialistic, tragic heroes, forever and desperately searching for love. The writing was very poor, I felt like I was reading a book in elementary school with a colouring kit. The obvious is that guys aren't that into you if you have to doubt yourself and your relationship. There are many 'it depends' situations and every individual and relationship is different in their own way. The polls and surveys were useless and discredited the book immensely. All in all, I think this book received more attention than it deserved.
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5.0 out of 5 stars Now I know... June 19 2014
Format:Kindle Edition|Verified Purchase
This is an awesome book. Well written, with oh so much good examples, to even make understand the dumbest one of all, what is what...I'm 55 and all those years I've been loosing over guys who just weren't that much into me...well from now on I KNOW ! Thank you, thank you so much...
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5.0 out of 5 stars Just Not May 2 2014
Format:Paperback|Verified Purchase
Mena and Women need to read this book, very helpful with my relationship and going strong after 1.5 years, way to go AMAZON.CA
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3.0 out of 5 stars He's Just No That Into You? Are you sure? March 27 2014
As a middle aged man who owns and manages an independent used book store, I had to have a flip through this book when it first came across the counter. This is apparently written by a man, and a very confident man at that.

The idea behind this book is good, and there is some good advice found within. If a man is interested in you, he will find a way to be around you, either incidentally, or purposely.

The current generation of men, and in many cases, the father's who raised them, have had a significant amount of masculinity stripped from their lives when compared generations from the sixties and before. This is probably not a bad thing, but it does mean that many men today have substantially less confidence than what this book assumes.

Any advice in these pages based on the statement on page 14 "I know it sounds old school, but when men like women, they ask them out", is completely false. The book is nearly entirely based on this premise, which may be true for many men, but probably not more than half of the male population.

If, as a women, you are interested in a man, you should be able to tell if he's interested in you by way of some of the advice in this book, but if you decline to ask a man out on a date on principle, because you expect him to ask you, then the missed opportunity is on your shoulders only.
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4.0 out of 5 stars A very light read Dec 6 2013
Format:Paperback|Verified Purchase
I like the format of how this book is written: a series of letters to which Greg replies in an amusing yet real way. I also appreciated the "now this is why it's hard" sections, where Liz speaks honestly about why each "trap" in which we fall is so attractive to us ladies.
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5.0 out of 5 stars Excellent and insightful! Oct. 28 2013
Format:Hardcover|Verified Purchase
It is a humorous way to be honest with yourself regarding relationships, is relatable and very easy to read. I even bought multiple copies to give away to my girlfriends! I would highly recommend it to women who are over analyzing their relationships, wondering if a potential man is serious or not. Let's just say it'll give women the tools to empower themselves to move on from a relationship that isn't going anywhere.
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5.0 out of 5 stars Present for every woman. Sept. 13 2013
Format:Hardcover|Verified Purchase
I watched the Opera show and immediately got attracted by Greg's thoughts.
This book is worth at least $1,000, because the time and effort I spent on the wrong guy should have been saved and time is always priceless.
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Most recent customer reviews
5.0 out of 5 stars Very Entertaining, True and Even a Little Enlightening.
I bought this book because the movie made me laugh. It was worth reading. Even in relationships that you think are going well, this book can help you start demanding what you... Read more
Published 17 months ago by P.S.
5.0 out of 5 stars he just doesn't have an excuse anymore
Just stop!
Stop making excuses for the man.
Stop pretending his voicemail is not working!
Stop asking yourself why he's been so busy lately. Read more
Published 17 months ago by Marie-Claude Chenier
5.0 out of 5 stars Great advices and funny!
A must read book for all the girls :) Great inspiration, it will give you a big boost of a self confidence :)
Published 18 months ago by Monika
5.0 out of 5 stars Brilliant
If you watched Sex and the City, or have seen the He's Just Not That Into You movie, you probably already know what the book is about. Read more
Published on Jan. 19 2011 by J. Scully
4.0 out of 5 stars Men are a mystery...
This book uses really common situations and analyses them, giving us women a good idea of what might be going on in men's head regarding romantic relationships. Read more
Published on Jan. 17 2011 by Maryse
4.0 out of 5 stars The truth sometimes hurts...
I really enjoyed this book even though I'm in my forties and have been married for over 10 years. If only I had read something like this when I was young and dating, I would of... Read more
Published on June 27 2010 by C. Ronan
5.0 out of 5 stars How to understand guys
I have read this book twice now and I am in the process of reading it again so that I don't forget what's in it. Read more
Published on March 31 2010 by K. L. Mclachlain
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