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He's Just Not That Into You: The No-Excuses Truth to Understanding Guys Hardcover – Sep 7 2004


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He's Just Not That Into You: The No-Excuses Truth to Understanding Guys + It's Called a Breakup Because It's Broken: The Smart Girl's Break-Up Buddy + It's Just A F***Ing Date: Some Sort of Book about Dating
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Product Details

  • Hardcover: 176 pages
  • Publisher: Simon Spotlight Entertainment; 1 edition (Sept. 7 2004)
  • Language: English
  • ISBN-10: 068987474X
  • ISBN-13: 978-0689874741
  • Product Dimensions: 21.9 x 14.3 x 1.4 cm
  • Shipping Weight: 272 g
  • Average Customer Review: 4.1 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (67 customer reviews)
  • Amazon Bestsellers Rank: #409,843 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)
  • See Complete Table of Contents

Product Description

From Publishers Weekly

It’s a classic single-woman scenario: you really like this guy, but he’s giving mixed messages. You make excuses, decide he’s confused, afraid of commitment. Behrendt, a former executive story editor for Sex and the City—and a formerly single (now happily married) guy who knows all the excuses—provides a simple answer: he’s just not that into you. Stop kidding yourself, let go and look for someone else who will be. After all, as Behrendt sensibly puts it, "if a (sane) guy really likes you, there ain’t nothing that’s going to get in his way." If you’re not convinced yet, by all means read this smart, funny and surprisingly upbeat little book, full of q’s and a’s covering every excuse woman has ever made to avoid admitting to herself that a man just wasn’t that smitten with her.
Copyright © Reed Business Information, a division of Reed Elsevier Inc. All rights reserved.

From School Library Journal

Adult/High School–With a bright, breezy style, the authors highlight a list of actions that men take to demonstrate that they are "just not into you," using "Dear Greg" letters and replies, unscientific polls of men, lists reviewing the key points in each chapter, a comic glossary, and laugh-out-loud workbook assignments. Although this book is meant for the 20-plus career women who have been dating for a while, the empowering message that a woman deserves a man who truly loves her and not one that she must constantly make excuses for can't be learned too early.–Jane S. Drabkin, Chinn Park Regional Library, Woodbridge, VA
Copyright © Reed Business Information, a division of Reed Elsevier Inc. All rights reserved.

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Customer Reviews

4.1 out of 5 stars

Most helpful customer reviews

9 of 10 people found the following review helpful By A Customer on Nov. 5 2004
Format: Hardcover
Being a big Sex and the City fan myself, I was particularly enthused by the "He's just not that into you" concept. The episode was very intriging and gave me a new perspective on guys and excuses. About 2 chapters into the book, I realized that half of it didn't apply to me. It was extremely biased and based entirely on Greg's opinion. I agree that all the excuses written about were pathetic and women should not fall for them. But the examples were unrealistic, women were portrayed as pathetic, weak, materialistic, tragic heroes, forever and desperately searching for love. The writing was very poor, I felt like I was reading a book in elementary school with a colouring kit. The obvious is that guys aren't that into you if you have to doubt yourself and your relationship. There are many 'it depends' situations and every individual and relationship is different in their own way. The polls and surveys were useless and discredited the book immensely. All in all, I think this book received more attention than it deserved.
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11 of 13 people found the following review helpful By Natalie on Dec 20 2004
Format: Hardcover
I found this book to be a very entertaining read. However, I found it only really scratched the surface on the problems that both men and women face on a daily basis. I think the authors over simplified the subject matter. They seem to portray the issues we face as black and white. If only it could be that simple. In fact I wouldn't be in the loving relationship I am today if I followed the advice presented in this book. My man had a lot of challenges from his youth and it took him a long time to come to terms with some of life's issues. If I would have followed the suggestions in this book, I would have not given him the opportunity to discover who he really is.
The book seems to miss the fact that we all have insecurities that affect us. Non of us are perfect. Telling all women that they deserve better is a great way to sell books. However, the statement assumes all women are great. The fact is, all women are not great and do not deserve better. In reality life is more than an episode of a TV series. I found this book to be great for ratings (book sales) and sometimes fun, but it did not leave me wanting more. If you want a fun read, I definitely recommend this book. If you want to look at relationships and life from a different perspective, I recommend Seed's Sketchy Relationship Theories - A Guide to the Perils of Dating (How not to become a bar regular). A little gem I accidentally stumbled across.
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11 of 13 people found the following review helpful By Amanda on Sept. 25 2004
Format: Hardcover
This was an honest book containing difficult truths for some women to hear, but it was written with so much kindness and wit that I found it enjoyable as well as informative. We have all made the mistake of wanting the guy to like us so bad that we will make all kinds of excuses for his obvious disinterest in us. It is refreshing to look at this behavior in its real light because it gives you a better chance not to fall for it again.
Bravo to this writer for doing such a nice job.
Two other books I would like to mention because they were also outstanding are "Bedtime Stories for Women" written by Nancy Madore and "A Woman's Worth" by Marianne Williamson
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1 of 1 people found the following review helpful By Marie-Claude Chenier on Feb. 11 2013
Format: Hardcover Verified Purchase
Just stop!
Stop making excuses for the man.
Stop pretending his voicemail is not working!
Stop asking yourself why he's been so busy lately.
Girl, he's just not that into you!
A man who wants something will move the earth and sky to get it. If he doesn't, he just doesn't want it enough!
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By Dot on Feb. 26 2015
Format: Kindle Edition Verified Purchase
Was it Oprah's mention on her show? Was it simple curiosity about the pitfalls of dating and how they can be avoided? Whatever the reason, this book has left me none the wiser. The author has produced a book that is contrived, disjointed and just plain stupid. The differing points of view are confusing and left me wondering whether the author had doodled this stuff when, as a space cadet, he awaited Mission Control announcing LIFT OFF. I firmly believe the author was laughing his head off as he penned this dross with his pencil, and his tongue, pressed firmly in his cheek.
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6 of 8 people found the following review helpful By A Customer on Sept. 25 2004
Format: Hardcover
A funny, entertaining, and truthful look at dating. Girls, we've just got to erase the memory of reading about the frog and the prince. These fairy tales teach us to be idealistic but not realistic. So here's one good book that will surely debunk the myths.
Another great book about dating that debunks the myths in a very entertaining and meaningful way is Jennifer Paddock's novel A SECRET WORD.
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2 of 3 people found the following review helpful By Katsurina on Aug. 26 2005
Format: Hardcover
Whether you don't know what's going on with your current fling, or curious about what your ex was thinking, this book will certainly give you some insight. This book gives all the common signs that he's just not into you, and shoots down all the excuses women make for their men. If you've ever had a failed relationship (and who hasn't?) You will definitely see glimpses of your experiance in the pages of this book. (I was kind of seeing a guy once and I swear 3 or more chapters in this book were written about him.)
This book will make you laugh, or at least make you smile, either from recognition or seeing how dense some women can be. The authors certainly have a way of putting relationships into a perspective that is so simple, you can't help but see the humor.
There's a good chance that you you aren't going to beleive every word the authors say. But the core of the message is true. If the truth ISN'T that the Jerk you're seeing isn't that into you, then he's still a jerk and you still deserve better.
Overall, this book is not a difficult or challenging read, it's not a piece of scientific research, it's simple, concise, and can be read in one day. It's funny to read at any time, and would probably make good "comfort food" for someone going through a break-up.
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