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He's Just Not That Into You: The No-Excuses Truth to Understanding Guys [Hardcover]

Greg Behrendt , Liz Tuccillo , Lauren Monchik
4.2 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (65 customer reviews)

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Book Description

Sept. 7 2004
Based on an episode of "Sex and the City," offers a lighthearted, no-nonsense look at dead-end relationships, with advice for letting go and moving on.

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Product Details

Product Description

From Publishers Weekly

It’s a classic single-woman scenario: you really like this guy, but he’s giving mixed messages. You make excuses, decide he’s confused, afraid of commitment. Behrendt, a former executive story editor for Sex and the City—and a formerly single (now happily married) guy who knows all the excuses—provides a simple answer: he’s just not that into you. Stop kidding yourself, let go and look for someone else who will be. After all, as Behrendt sensibly puts it, "if a (sane) guy really likes you, there ain’t nothing that’s going to get in his way." If you’re not convinced yet, by all means read this smart, funny and surprisingly upbeat little book, full of q’s and a’s covering every excuse woman has ever made to avoid admitting to herself that a man just wasn’t that smitten with her.
Copyright © Reed Business Information, a division of Reed Elsevier Inc. All rights reserved.

From School Library Journal

Adult/High School–With a bright, breezy style, the authors highlight a list of actions that men take to demonstrate that they are "just not into you," using "Dear Greg" letters and replies, unscientific polls of men, lists reviewing the key points in each chapter, a comic glossary, and laugh-out-loud workbook assignments. Although this book is meant for the 20-plus career women who have been dating for a while, the empowering message that a woman deserves a man who truly loves her and not one that she must constantly make excuses for can't be learned too early.–Jane S. Drabkin, Chinn Park Regional Library, Woodbridge, VA
Copyright © Reed Business Information, a division of Reed Elsevier Inc. All rights reserved.

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Many women have said to me, "Greg, men run the world." Read the first page
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Customer Reviews

Most helpful customer reviews
10 of 11 people found the following review helpful
By Natalie
I found this book to be a very entertaining read. However, I found it only really scratched the surface on the problems that both men and women face on a daily basis. I think the authors over simplified the subject matter. They seem to portray the issues we face as black and white. If only it could be that simple. In fact I wouldn't be in the loving relationship I am today if I followed the advice presented in this book. My man had a lot of challenges from his youth and it took him a long time to come to terms with some of life's issues. If I would have followed the suggestions in this book, I would have not given him the opportunity to discover who he really is.
The book seems to miss the fact that we all have insecurities that affect us. Non of us are perfect. Telling all women that they deserve better is a great way to sell books. However, the statement assumes all women are great. The fact is, all women are not great and do not deserve better. In reality life is more than an episode of a TV series. I found this book to be great for ratings (book sales) and sometimes fun, but it did not leave me wanting more. If you want a fun read, I definitely recommend this book. If you want to look at relationships and life from a different perspective, I recommend Seed's Sketchy Relationship Theories - A Guide to the Perils of Dating (How not to become a bar regular). A little gem I accidentally stumbled across.
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8 of 9 people found the following review helpful
2.0 out of 5 stars Over-rated Nov. 5 2004
By A Customer
Being a big Sex and the City fan myself, I was particularly enthused by the "He's just not that into you" concept. The episode was very intriging and gave me a new perspective on guys and excuses. About 2 chapters into the book, I realized that half of it didn't apply to me. It was extremely biased and based entirely on Greg's opinion. I agree that all the excuses written about were pathetic and women should not fall for them. But the examples were unrealistic, women were portrayed as pathetic, weak, materialistic, tragic heroes, forever and desperately searching for love. The writing was very poor, I felt like I was reading a book in elementary school with a colouring kit. The obvious is that guys aren't that into you if you have to doubt yourself and your relationship. There are many 'it depends' situations and every individual and relationship is different in their own way. The polls and surveys were useless and discredited the book immensely. All in all, I think this book received more attention than it deserved.
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1 of 1 people found the following review helpful
By V. Tran
This book simplifies many different situations that a girl can get into during her search for love. It is narrated by Greg, who is a straight guy and provides his overly simple explanation of "he's just not that into you" for pretty much all situations. Liz, the other author provides her stance on his advice from a female perspective, which I find is useful.
I think that women definitely complicate their own situation by over-thinking what is actually going on. Greg is the voice that pulls you back to reality... or at least makes you realize that guys think in a much less complicated manner. Either he's into you or he is not.
This book is a little too drawn out and I felt the chapters were too long, but a lot of the Q & A that they had were quite funny. I had a bit of a laugh, and I love how they have a few random phrases inserted throughout the book such as "turn down the crazy" and "don't waste the pretty". I recommend this book for women who find themselves having questions such as "How could he?!" or "Why are guys such jerks?!".
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2 of 2 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars A cool GLIDE of a read! Oct. 20 2004
By A Customer
It's like skating on ice reading this book. Real cool and fun. It's very breezy, not too long, but punchy with insight about how silly and stupid we women can be. I certainly recommend it for anybody who likes Sex and the City and Jane Green and Lolly Winston books, or A Secret Word, a really smart cool book by Jennifer Paddock. Like that! You'll love it!
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1 of 1 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars The no excuses truth Aug. 5 2005
This book is full of the kind of advice your best girlfriend would give you when you are feeling down in the dumps over a guy. When you see real life situations (he's not calling, all of a sudden he's too busy to see you) laid out in these easy to read chapters, it's hard to think the authors are not being spiteful. They use humor and some over the top situations (at least I hope they are over the top!) to get the point of their book across. They hit the nail right on the head. And they make sense! This little gem of a book definitely deserves five stars.
Another book I enjoyed recently is "The Emotional Intelligence Quick Book" It's filled with great strategies and lets you test your EQ online.
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6 of 7 people found the following review helpful
By A Customer
A funny, entertaining, and truthful look at dating. Girls, we've just got to erase the memory of reading about the frog and the prince. These fairy tales teach us to be idealistic but not realistic. So here's one good book that will surely debunk the myths.
Another great book about dating that debunks the myths in a very entertaining and meaningful way is Jennifer Paddock's novel A SECRET WORD.
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5.0 out of 5 stars Men, know thyselves Feb. 10 2008
This excellent book, and the many related books it influenced, is a book written for women. Not only do I think all women should read it but all men should too.

Men who want to be good boyfriends and husbands (the rest of you can stop reading now) can easily feel overwhelmed by the quantity of information available on women and not know where to start. Or, they may feel annoyed at the lousy advice given them by their friends: most men don’t understand women and, frankly, most women don’t understand themselves. But there are certain things that women, on the whole, deserve. You don’t need to be a marriage counsellor to figure them out: respect, communication (well, you listen, she’ll communicate), a hug, a compliment and maybe a new pair of shoes. A good man will provide this kind of thing without a fight and a whine. A good man will take care of you. If he doesn’t, he’s just not that into you.

That is the recurring theme in the book: he’s just not that into you. They give a number of men’s excuses and suspect situations in which relationships find themselves and explain that, unless the man will give you all of what I just mentioned, he’s just not that into you.

What I most like about this book is that, ultimately, it should raise standards for women’s expectations and thus men’s behaviour. Women, if you don’t feel 100% about your man, there could be a good reason. Men, treat your women like they deserve and they will never doubt it. Everyone, read the book and remember that I agree with Greg every time.
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Most recent customer reviews
5.0 out of 5 stars great. book. wish it had been available years ago!
Easy to read. Funny. Thoroughly entertaining good advice practical self help for women looking for love great read loved it!
Published 26 days ago by Ruth McDonough
5.0 out of 5 stars A Must-Read
This is a MUST-read for all women. It is an absolute epiphany! After reading this book, I realized how much time I'd wasted with my friends analysing men and relationships. Read more
Published 2 months ago by Jo
5.0 out of 5 stars Now I know...
This is an awesome book. Well written, with oh so much good examples, to even make understand the dumbest one of all, what is what... Read more
Published 4 months ago by Isil
5.0 out of 5 stars Just Not
Mena and Women need to read this book, very helpful with my relationship and going strong after 1.5 years, way to go AMAZON.CA
Published 5 months ago by Tiger0005
3.0 out of 5 stars He's Just No That Into You? Are you sure?
As a middle aged man who owns and manages an independent used book store, I had to have a flip through this book when it first came across the counter. Read more
Published 7 months ago by J. Moody
4.0 out of 5 stars A very light read
I like the format of how this book is written: a series of letters to which Greg replies in an amusing yet real way. Read more
Published 10 months ago by Noelle Nouneh
5.0 out of 5 stars Excellent and insightful!
It is a humorous way to be honest with yourself regarding relationships, is relatable and very easy to read. I even bought multiple copies to give away to my girlfriends! Read more
Published 12 months ago by B. Lyons
5.0 out of 5 stars Present for every woman.
I watched the Opera show and immediately got attracted by Greg's thoughts.
This book is worth at least $1,000, because the time and effort I spent on the wrong guy should have... Read more
Published 13 months ago by LIZZ
5.0 out of 5 stars Very Entertaining, True and Even a Little Enlightening.
I bought this book because the movie made me laugh. It was worth reading. Even in relationships that you think are going well, this book can help you start demanding what you... Read more
Published 20 months ago by P.S.
5.0 out of 5 stars he just doesn't have an excuse anymore
Just stop!
Stop making excuses for the man.
Stop pretending his voicemail is not working!
Stop asking yourself why he's been so busy lately. Read more
Published 20 months ago by Marie-Claude Chenier
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