The Highly Sensitive Person [Paperback]

Answer true or false to these ten statements as they apply to you:

1. I find myself needing to withdraw during busy days to any place where I can have some privacy and relief from stimulation.
2. I am easily overwhelmed by things such as bright lights, strong smells, coarse fabrics, or sirens close by.
3. I get rattled when I have a lot to do in a short amount of time.
4. I startle easily.
5. I make it a point to avoid violent movies or TV shows.
6. Changes in my life shake me up.
7. When I must compete or be observed while performing a task, I become so nervous and shaky that I do much worse than I would otherwise.
8. I am very conscientious.
9. When I was a child, my parents or teachers seemed to see me as sensitive or shy.
10. I tend to be very sensitive to pain.

If you answered true to five or more of these statements or if any one or two statements are extremely true of you, then this book may be for you.

This easy-to-read, non-technical book (first published in 1996) by Dr. Elaine Aron, deals with the highly sensitive person (of which Aron is one). Such a person is one that has a very sensitive nervous system and thus has a trait of greater receptivity to stimulation that may cause over stimulation. This trait should not be confused with such things as introversion, shyness, inhibition, anxiety, or fear. (Interestingly, there are also extroverted highly sensitive people.)

This book provides basic, detailed information about this trait, data that is difficult to obtain elsewhere. According to the author, "[This book] is the product of five years of research, in-depth interviews, clinical experience, courses, and individual consultations with hundreds of highly sensitive persons."

If you feel that you are a highly sensitive person, this book will help you understand yourself better and show you how to thrive in today's not-so-sensitive world. Also, this book is written for those seeking to understand those that are highly sensitive, such as a friend, relative, employer, or educator.

This book consists of ten chapters:

*Chapter one helps one learn the basic facts about this trait and how it makes one different (not flawed) from others.
*Chapter two helps you understand your trait.
*In the third chapter, you'll learn to appreciate your highly sensitive body's needs.
*In the fourth chapter, you'll learn ways to rethink your past experiences in a positive light and gain greater self-esteem in the process.
*Chapter five gives insight of how high sensitivity affects non-intimate social relationships.
*Chapter six gives insight of how high sensitivity affects work relationships.
*In the seventh chapter, you'll find insight of how high sensitivity affects close intimate relationships.
*The eighth chapter deals with ways to heal the sometimes deep adult psychological wounds caused when one was a highly sensitive child or adolescent.
*Chapter nine gives information on medications and when to seek help. (The author advocates caution if you desire to use medication.)
*In the last chapter, you are introduced to techniques to enrich the soul and spirit.

Near the beginning of this book is a self-test to help you decide if you are highly sensitive. It consists of twenty-three statements (ten selected ones are presented above) of which you answer true or false. (I felt that some of these statements were too general.)

Throughout this book are voluntary activities that the author has found useful for highly sensitive people. As well, there are tips throughout on how to deal with over arousal.

Finally, there are three appendices that consist of tips for health-care providers, teachers, and employers who work with or employ highly sensitive people.

In conclusion, if you are highly sensitive or want to learn about this trait, then this is the groundbreaking book for you!!

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For those reviewers who found this book to be off the mark or a bad thing, then it was probably not written for you. I'll echo the many who have said that if you are the kind of sensitive person that this book speaks for, it will resonate within you deeply. It brings peace to me, and if anything, it gives me more courage and strength to thrive in this world. Those who said that this book does more harm than good by "sinking you into your sensitivity" are truly missing the point. That is like telling someone not to be themselves, and is the very thing that sensitive people have been painfully dealing with in this culture for a long while. When I become more of who I am, I will only be better for myself and better for the world. Being more accepting of myself within, is something that will bring me more comfortably out into the world, not push me further back from it.

One reader thought that this book was written from the "female perspective" and therefore not as useful to males. I am a male and find that it was very fitting to the person I am, so it may just depend on the individual.

If you are a sensitive person and you have ever compared yourself to most others in the society we live in, you understand that you do not fit the mold. What this book delivers is the point - "it's ok" and in doing so it helps one to deal with oneself in a much kinder and constructive way in the world. I don't think this book is a miracle worker, it does take personal steps to be fully accepting of self, but this writing is a big help to the sensitive soul. My wish is that everyone who needs it, finds it.

To all those gentle, kindred spirits out there, I offer my heartfelt best wishes for much happiness and peace. I plan to order a couple of copies of this great book for friends whom I know will surely love it.

Thank you very much, Dr. Elaine Aron. Great job.