How to Attract Asian Women [Paperback]

This book is not without merit, especially if you, like me, knew relatively nothing about Asian culture and Confucian philosophy prior to reading it. For example, did you know that Asian people are offended when Caucasians refer to them as "Orientals?" According to Miss Tan, "Asians are people and Orientals are rugs." Having had no prior experience with Asians or Asian-Americans, I was not aware of that particular faux pas and I did find that type of information, as well as a few other scattered tidbits, very useful. However, if you grew up with Asian-Americans, have worked with them or have some prior knowledge of Asian cultures, then this "How-To" manual will not provide you with enough information to justify your investment of money and time. (I asked a 44 year old friend of mine if she had known about the sensitivity of Asians to the term "Orientals." She stated yes but only because she recently had occasion to work with an Asian who was forever correcting other staff members when they used the wrong term).

Here is a summary of Miss Tan's findings based on a not-so-scientific sampling of her website's participants who completed a variety of surveys.

Asian women, according to Miss Tan, are physically attracted to two broad types of Caucasian men; tall, sandy-haired, blue-eyed men of Irish or English descent and swarthy, muscular men of Mediterranean descent (Italians are mentioned specifically several times throughout her thesis). Asian women are hard-working and pragmatic people and are far better educated than their American counterparts and, consequently, are attracted to and seek out men with the same characteristics. One piece of information I found particularly useful and interesting pertained to how Asian women are attracted to men with advanced degrees from Ivy League Schools (this is specifically mentioned more than a couple of times; a by-product, perhaps, of a caste system that still strongly prevails in China). Miss Tan's advice is that potential male suitors should boldly advertise their credentials in their Internet dating profiles especially if their source of income is derived from the following sources; Doctor, Lawyer, Engineer, Architect, Business Owner, Computer Expert, Military Officer and "old," family money. It would never have occurred to me to advertise the name of my Alma Matta as this would most definitely be considered arrogant by most Caucasian women.

The rest of the advice, particularly in regard to how to treat Asian women, I found to be entirely intuitive and, at times, insulting to the reader. Several pages, having little or nothing to do with Asian women per se, are devoted to the importance of bathing and brushing one's teeth before the date, paying for the first date (while not expecting sex in return, being generally kind and generous and showing deferential respect to the woman's family. It is hard to imagine that any grown, mature and intelligent man would require such advice. Apparently, Miss Tan and her girlfriends have encountered more than their fair share of unkempt jerks and boorish men. This "book" should have been published as a pamphlet or, better yet, as an e-book at a fraction of the price.

For $...the book "Chinese Business Etiquette: A Guide to Protocol, Manners and Culture in the People's Republic of China" by Scott D. Seligman (New York: Warner Books, Inc. 1999. ISBN 0-446-67387-0) is an excellent, far more intelligent, better written and informative discussion of Chinese culture and etiquette than Miss Tan's, occasionally sophomoric and overpriced, guide to Asian dating Do's-and-Don'ts.