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How to Get Your Lover Back: Successful Strategies for Starting Over (& Making It Better Than It Was Before) [Paperback]

Blase Harris
4.1 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (31 customer reviews)
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Book Description

Sept. 10 1989
If your lover has left you...

If your relationship is on the edge, and you feel fragile and out of control...

If you regret walking out...

If you're not sure you want your lover back, but you need to understand what happened...

You do have a second chance--if you know what has to come first.

Falling in and out of love is a natural process that can be understood and mastered.  Love properly understood can be love regained and kept alive for a lifetime.

This step-by-step approach developed by psychiatrist Blase Harris works.  It has worked for the people in this book.  And now it can work for you.  Dr. Harris's practical guide shows you how to avoid the common mistakes ex-lovers make, love 100 percent, and get your lover back!

Frequently Bought Together

How to Get Your Lover Back: Successful Strategies for Starting Over (& Making It Better Than It Was Before) + How One of You Can Bring the Two of You Together
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Product Details


Product Description

From the Publisher

If your lover has left you...

If your relationship is on the edge, and you feel fragile and out of control...

If you regret walking out...

If you're not sure you want your lover back, but you need to understand what happened...

You do have a second chance--if you know what has to come first.

Falling in and out of love is a natural process that can be understood and mastered. Love properly understood can be love regained and kept alive for a lifetime.

This step-by-step approach developed by psychiatrist Blase Harris works. It has worked for the people in this book. And now it can work for you. Dr. Harris's practical guide shows you how to avoid the common mistakes ex-lovers make, love 100 percent, and get your lover back!


Inside This Book (Learn More)
First Sentence
Your lover may seem just beyond your grasp, and to pause a moment may seem an eternity; to scream about the grief that has been inflicted upon you may seem the natural thing to do, as if that would shorten the moment, as if that would get your lover back. Read the first page
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Concordance
Browse Sample Pages
Front Cover | Copyright | Table of Contents | Excerpt
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Customer Reviews

Most helpful customer reviews
1 of 1 people found the following review helpful
2.0 out of 5 stars I was disappointed Feb. 23 1999
By A Customer
Format:Paperback
I was disappointed in this book. Granted there was some solid useful advice: That you should show by word and deed how much you truly love your ex and put your own neediness on hold; use positive visualization; don't grovel or argue. My problem is that all such useful advice is presented in a general and abstract fashion, whereas the material that is concrete and specific is severely limited in application. For example, almost all of the couples in the case histories are already seeing one another regularly for dinner and a movie. But Dr. Harris offers no real advice on how to get to that point! What if you are not regularly seeing your ex at work or school or for "catch up dates?" There is an extremely limited chapter at the end, almost like an afterthought, on "Dealing With A Resistant Lover," that needs to be expanded! If your lover isn't "resistant," you don't need this book in the first place. A big chapter up front, on "Sex With Your Ex" seems largely gratuitous. If nothing else, the placement and weight given to these two subjects should be reversed. I'm anxious to try out the good stuff I learned from Dr. Harris. I just wish he had told me how to get close enough to my ex to do that. Sorry, but his advice to send cards and/or gifts at Christmas and birthdays doesn't quite cut it.
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5.0 out of 5 stars Gave me inpiration to try -- and I've succeeded! Nov. 16 2003
By A Customer
Format:Paperback
I stumbled across this book at a local bookstore after I had broken off a relationship.
Although I was pretty embarrassed to be seen buying this gaudy-looking number I quickly found out it was just what the doc had ordered: I had ended a relationship (won't go into details here) but realized that I really had made a stupid mistake; yet, I somehow felt too prideful to try and get my relationship back. Working with this book helped give me the courage to go for it without feeling I somehow was going to lose face in my attempt, which was a big issue for me.
I'm not saying that had I not seen this book that I wouldn't have attempted to get my guy back -- yes, a lot of the book's advice seems to be common sense -- but Dr. Harris' supportive writing style helped give me the backbone to start ASAP by giving me the recipe to apply my efforts effectively and efficiently, instead of letting me potentially stumble and fumble through the process. Via this book I felt encouraged all along the way and gained confidence in my relationship skills.
Just as important, I am grateful to have felt that I had someone in my corner, cheering me on. Harris has a lot of wisdom about relationships in general that will keep me on track with my guy, with whom I couldn't be happier. This book was well worth the investment -- especially since it took so little of my time to read it -- for the results that I have gotten.
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4.0 out of 5 stars It remains to be seen March 9 2003
Format:Paperback
I started this book last night, and as I get into the 'nitty-gritty' of how to get my lover back, I am a thousand times more hopeful than I was before I started reading it. Blase Harris really captures the loneliness and despair of losing the love of your life, but seems also to be documenting the steps I've taken already, since I broke up with my lover a month ago today. He writes, "There is a...very parctical, crucially important reason for getting a lover back. If you don't learn how to make a relationship work, then when? Finding another fish in the sea is not good enough...So long as you and your ex-lover are alive, your relationship is not dead". This gives me the inspiration to continue, and Harris seems certain to help me find the ways and the words to make it happen.
The book is worth reading, if only for the excellent plot summary of Shakespeare's "A Midsummer Night's Dream"
The title, and rather flamboyant cover of this paperback edition is a little off-putting though.
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5.0 out of 5 stars State of the art Spirituality Jan. 1 2002
By David M
Format:Paperback
When my relationship soured, I was very frustrated trying to get help from counselors (influenced by 12 step programs) who only talked to me about my co-dependency, and "What was wrong with me that I wanted my partner back?" When I was really in a lot of pain, I could hear them thinking "Oh no!, Not another couple who got together without realizing how screwed up they were! Got to get them apart!" Although it's true that both my lover and I had plenty of areas to where we need to grow, we had a lot of good things going for us too, and I was pleased to find an approach which allowed me to use my strengths to improve the areas where I was weak in the relationship. I've never been convinced that wanting to work on a relationship always co-dependency. Stephan Levine, John Welwood, Gail and Hugh Prather, Barry and Joyce Vissel and others all speak of a relationship can be a path of awakening, and all would agree, I think, that there are times when one person has to carry the relationship. This book shows how to do that.
What I liked best about this book is that the author's ideas allowed me to take an *active* approach to untangling the knots in my relationship. The approach gave me something to do -- internal work on myself which made a difference in my relationship. It was not about bugging my partner.
I bought the book when I read in chapter 1 where the author wrote "A lost relationship may be a lost opportunity for growth." You don't hear that much from anyone. (And that's the way I felt, not that I just wanted to cling to my lover.If I was clinging, I wanted to stop.) And in chapter 2, "Loving 100% to Get Your Lover Back," I really enjoyed reading the author's working definition of love: "the active care and concern for the life and growth of another human being.
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Most recent customer reviews
3.0 out of 5 stars Was not helpful in my case
As the other reader writes this book is for men who neglected their women and did not pay enough attention to their needs while they were together. My situation is very different. Read more
Published on June 28 2004 by chicagoan
5.0 out of 5 stars I got my lover back
Every book has its critics. I bought the book at a time when my lover had left me and had no intentions o returning. He still loved me but didnt want to be with me. Read more
Published on Aug. 20 2003 by Karen A. Jordan
5.0 out of 5 stars I will get her back
This book encourages me and gives me hope to get my lover back. Every page makes me feel better and I know that I will get her back. Highly recommended.
Published on Aug. 6 2003
4.0 out of 5 stars Some good ideas
Some of this book I disagreed with , for example "loving 100%" this is great for a man to get a woman back, but most men want space and are also naturally drawn back in... Read more
Published on May 30 2003
4.0 out of 5 stars Great Book
I found this book to be very helpful. It is easy to read. There are super ideas that will help you make good choices when it comes to trying to get your X back. Read more
Published on April 18 2003
4.0 out of 5 stars Loving 100%
Dr. Harris really hits the nail on the head when it comes to LOVING your way back!! This book is for those who truly want the love of their life back... Read more
Published on Dec 18 2002
5.0 out of 5 stars What everyone is neglecting to tell you.
I really enjoyed this book,because it seemed to understand what I have been going thru. I am tired of everyone telling me to: "move on" or "get over it" I... Read more
Published on Aug. 11 2002
5.0 out of 5 stars A Must for those Who Want to Love
I currently broke up from a 5 year relationship and although it has been awhile, I read this book and realized how many mistakes I have made and learned so much about myself. Read more
Published on Feb. 27 2002 by Bindee
5.0 out of 5 stars Not a lot of stupid "There's other fish in the sea"
This book discusses many of the mistakes we make when trying to get our ex-loves back, usually because we're so emotionally involved (obviously). Read more
Published on Jan. 24 2002 by R. Brown
5.0 out of 5 stars Superb! Nuts and bolts techniques for new or lost loves,...
The techniques in this book are nothing short of amazing.
I personally used the fundamentals in this book and was not only surprised that they did indeed work, but how FAST... Read more
Published on Dec 25 2001 by Leo McNamara
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