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How to Succeed with Women, Revised and Updated Paperback – Jan 6 2009

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Product Details

  • Paperback: 416 pages
  • Publisher: Prentice Hall Press; 2nd Revised edition edition (Jan. 6 2009)
  • Language: English
  • ISBN-10: 0735204357
  • ISBN-13: 978-0735204355
  • Product Dimensions: 13.8 x 2.4 x 20.8 cm
  • Shipping Weight: 363 g
  • Average Customer Review: Be the first to review this item
  • Amazon Bestsellers Rank: #267,219 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)
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Front Cover | Copyright | Table of Contents | Excerpt | Index | Back Cover
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Most Helpful Customer Reviews on (beta) HASH(0x9b95c1bc) out of 5 stars 27 reviews
42 of 43 people found the following review helpful
HASH(0x9be09798) out of 5 stars Avoid the update, get the Original! July 21 2009
By Throckmorton Scribblemonger - Published on
Format: Paperback
I'll keep this short: This book is an excellent book for learning that basics of relationships, how to live a generative life that attracts women, and how to find, meet and build a relationship with women. You can read plenty of reviews over at the original book's page.

However, this updated version is nearly identical to the original except that they've hacked out the last chapter! Why did you do this Ron and David?! The last chapter, From Casual to Committed is vital for guys who've found themselves repeatedly in short-term relationships or couldn't keep a relationship going. This chapter alone turned my last relationship from being two months and made it two great years (ultimately I decided not to marry for other reasons). It's vital for any guy who ever wants to have a long-term, fulfilling committed relationship, or marry.

Avoid this one and get the original!
44 of 53 people found the following review helpful
HASH(0x9c05de34) out of 5 stars Not as accurate as others... March 30 2009
By Shane C. - Published on
Format: Paperback
After my last painful breakup, I finally bought a few books about dating to see where things went wrong: Doc Love's The System, David Deangelo's Double Your Dating e-Book, and this one. In the process, I learned a lot of extremely important concepts that every man should know. The painful breakup was over two years ago and it was, indeed, the last.

The System teaches several critical things about filtering out bad women. It can save you a ton of time and money by "testing" girls to see if they're using you and/or straight up toxic, despite their blinding beauty. It also has a lot of great info on being mysterious and challenging through the course of an entire relationship to keep a woman interested. For example, after getting a number (and until she asks to be your girlfriend), Doc says to wait 5-9 days to call -- and no weekends. The users and abusers forget your name or never answer. The good ones are thrilled to hear from you. He also teaches to always let the woman do the touching and mushy talk before you even think about doing either (and never really get mushy). Good stuff.

Deangelo's material seemed to contradict Doc Love in a lot of ways. He focuses more on _what_ you do or say than _when_ you do or say it. He emphasizes that women are genetically programmed to respond to men who are in control and not emotional (i.e. they're cocky & funny and never needy, sad, or angry), and ultimately how to completely avoid the romantic suicide of acting like a wuss. While Doc Love left out a lot of details on exactly how to behave around women, Deangelo nailed it on the head with the sort of "unpredictable and upbeat alpha male" concept. Learning both authors' sides has made a huge difference in my dating life and made me very aware of where I screwed up before. Being "nice" gets them out of the room; being cocky & funny gets them on top of you. I say it from experience, to my own amazement.

Back to "How To Succeed With Women." There are several good points throughout the book, but I feel like it's contaminated with a dangerous amount of bad advice (actually teaching wussy behavior). What really threw me were the parts about touching women early on to let them know you're interested (she already knows you like her and you may be on very thin ice if she hasn't touched you beforehand), how to apologize to a woman if you ever offend her, and that you should "promise" to never do what offended them again. What!? This sort of butt-kissing will quickly lead you to being dominated by a woman who will dump you as soon as someone with cajones shows up.

I believe a "real man" constantly pursues his goals and has fun along the way. He works to feel accomplished and complete, and is independent as a result. This man does not go chasing after women like we see in every stupid Hollywood movie -- he talks to them playfully and _lets_ the good ones (or good one) into his exciting life. He's respectful, but still calls it like he sees it and doesn't plead or apologize when somebody is offended by his honesty. And unlike the other two books, in my opinion, this one simply misses the mark too many times.
9 of 9 people found the following review helpful
HASH(0x9ba66c3c) out of 5 stars Some great advice, some bad advice Nov. 12 2012
By Leonard - Published on
Format: Paperback
Let me just be succinct: I'm a 27 year old black male from NYC. I'm in my 3rd year of law school. Although I went out with women a few times, I never had a real girlfriend and I'm a virgin.

Some of the advice in the book is very useful. They tell you not to seek fulfillment from a woman and to be passionate about something in your life. I agree 100%. I used to look to women for validation and this only made me bitter since I was always lonely. Now, I play the viola, workout, and go on trips. They also tell you not to bend over backwards for a woman. There have been many instances in the past in which I've been taking advantage of by women and did not receive anything in return.

I like this book since they are honest and frank. They said that reading this book will not enable you to date Sofia Vergara or Megan Fox (they didn't use those specific examples, but you get the point). Some women are simply out of your league. However, most women are attainable. They also explained how women want nice guys to be friends, but not lovers. This was another mistake I made. I previously thought that if a woman is nice to you, she wants to date you. That's not necessarily true.

Although I like the book, it has quite a few flaws. The book is intended for guys who want to meet white women ostensibly born in America (I'm not trying to be racist, I'm just proving a point). Those are the women who are preoccupied with their hair and buying shoes. Based on my experience, foreign women (African, Filipino, Russian) are less shallow than American women. The book doesn't mention that.

The book also gives you general advice on first date ideas and ice breakers, but no specific pick-up lines. That would've been helpful.

The most egregious flaw is the places where they recommend meeting women. DO NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES GO TO A YOGA CLASS FOR THE SOLE PURPOSE OF MEETING WOMEN. I go to yoga class. However, I'm genuinely interested in yoga since it helps me deal with back and knee pain. There are two types of classes. The main class has about 70 students in a crowded room. The basics class is for out of shape people or people new to yoga. In the main class, the women are so into yoga that they won't be in the mood to flirt. Those women often have their own cliques. Basics class is a lot smaller, but some of the women there are older and/or overweight. In any event, if you go to yoga class just to flirt with women, they will immediately see through you. And contrary to popular belief, yoga class is hard. It is easier for me to lift weights than to do those asanas (poses).

Meeting women at a coffee shop or bookstore is a catch-22. If you were assertive enough to pick up a random chick at a coffee shop or bookstore, you wouldn't need to read this book. The only place where I (kinda) agree with the authors is a dance class. And even then, the woman may either have a boyfriend or be an older and less attractive woman (I know there are a few cougars like Demi Moore, but I'm speaking generally).

If you want to meet women, check out However, stick to an activity that you are truly interested in. Do not try speed dating or online dating since it is a waste of time and money and the women there are beyond shallow.

Another thing I don't like about this book is that most of, if not all of the examples are made up. "Bruce" is a Don Juan ladies' man while "Bob" is a complete simpleton. The first time I read this book, I thought they were real people, but then I realized that no one can be as dense as Bob. They also use other characters to illustrate their point, but I'm pretty sure those characters are not real.

I will implement some of the strategies in the book, such as being friendly to all women, having a purpose in my life, not seeking validation from women, and the hygiene tips. I will take the rest of advice with a grain of salt.

If you have any tips (or know a single, my email is
13 of 14 people found the following review helpful
HASH(0x9bc06e1c) out of 5 stars Great book to help understand the psychology of dating June 2 2010
By Secret Agent Hill Billy - Published on
Format: Paperback
I really enjoyed reading this book and am planning on reading it again soon. The authors did a good job explaining what women are thinking in every step of the relationship and what they are looking for in a man. This book is not like many of the other pick up artist manuals that teach all kinds of strange rituals and cues that leave you even more confused than you were when you started. Women aren't evil, spiteful creatures after all; they just think completely differently than we do and we have all been brainwashed by the misinformation on television and unreasonable social customs. This book is definitely worth reading.
5 of 5 people found the following review helpful
HASH(0x9d278420) out of 5 stars Gets to the point. May 10 2011
By Zanriel - Published on
Format: Paperback
I read this book about 12 years ago, and it was like nothing I'd ever read before. I'd read Mars and Venus, Secrets of Seduction, and other things like that, but this one here is full of practical advice that's easy to incorporate. That, and it makes sense on a lot of different levels. I loaned mine out to a friend who was having trouble meeting women. Now we're both married.

Now, what to do once your married, or how to make sure you're marrying the right person? Well... that isn't exactly covered here. But if you're looking to build self-confidence and you need some clear advice on how to get girls out of your dreams and into your car, you can't go wrong with this book. Highly recommended. No book has all the answers - attack the issue from multiple angle and get other points of view, like one of the reviewers above suggested.

Also, there's no substitute for working on yourself. If you have serious emotional issues and hangups, work on that too. In other words, if you're going on a road trip, definitely check tire pressure and fluid levels first. A broken person will end up in broken relationships. It's been a while since I've read this book but I'm pretty sure that advice is actually in there, come to think of it. At any rate, I would never hesitate to recommend this book to anyone having trouble in the dating scene, and I guarantee you if I find myself in that situation again, this will be my first purchase to replace the one I loaned out.