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How To Talk So Kids Will Listen & Listen So Kids Will Talk [Paperback]

A Faber
4.4 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (94 customer reviews)

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Paperback, Oct. 21 1999 --  
Audio, CD, Abridged, Audiobook CDN $12.26 Editors' 10 Best Canadian Books of the Year
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Book Description

Oct. 21 1999

Here is the bestselling book that will give you the know-how you need to be effective with your children.Enthusiastically praised by parents and professionals around the world, the down-to-earth, respectful approach of Faber and Mazlish makes relationships with children of all ages less stressful and more rewarding.

Recently revised and updated with fresh insights and suggestions, How to Talk So Kids Will Listen & Listen So Kids Will Talk is full of practical, innovative ways to solve common problems and build foundations for lasting relationships.

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Product Details

Product Description


"An exceptional work, not simply just another 'how to' bookAll parents can use these methods to improve the everyday quality of their relationships with their children." -- Fort Worth Star Telegram

"Faber and Mazlish are doing for parenting today what Dr. Spock did for our generation." -- Parent Magazine

"Practical, sensible, lucid the approaches Faber and Mazlish lay out are so logical you wonder why you read them with such a burst of discovery." -- Family Journal

"Will bring about more cooperation from children than all the yelling and pleading in the world." -- Christian Science Monitor

About the Author

Adele Faber and Elaine Mazlish are internationally acclaimed, award-winning experts on adult-child communication. Both lecture nationwide, and their group workshop programs are used by thousands of groups throughout the world to improve communication between children and adults.

Inside This Book (Learn More)
First Sentence
I was a wonderful parent before I had children. Read the first page
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Front Cover | Copyright | Table of Contents | Excerpt | Index | Back Cover
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Customer Reviews

Most helpful customer reviews
21 of 22 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars Best parenting book for frustrated parents Nov. 13 2003
My mother-in-law, who is a child psychologist, introduced me to this book. She's been using it for years in her practice. I have been irritated by other books that seem to talk exclusively about how to help children while ignoring parents' needs. This book has great real-life examples and doesn't come down on stressed out parents for getting angry or saying dumb things. Instead, it gives practical exercises and rules for helping your relationship. Some of them are hard to do. Habits are hard to change. But it has made a world of difference between me and my 3-year-old. I'm so glad to have read this book so early in her life. I think it will spare us some of the heartache my mother and I experienced, mostly due to poor communication skills.
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6 of 6 people found the following review helpful
3.0 out of 5 stars Good, but outdated July 14 2001
By A Customer
This little book has some great ideas for raising kids from about age 5. I found the cartoons and the text a little too simple and hokey for my tastes, but they do get the idea across. The authors concept is that you should respect your children and that if you phrase your requests in the right way you'll get less complaints and whining. Some of the examples are sorely outdated -- based on the at-home, baking-cookies kind of mom and non-involved dad. No real examples for step-families or single parent families. If you're looking for a good book on positive, encouraging parenting that's a little more in-depth and current try these: Positive Parenting OR Kid Cooperation.
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5 of 5 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars Invaluable resource!! Nov. 27 2002
During my first pregnancy, my husband would have loved for me to write HIM a book about childrearing so that he'd know what to do! He's never worked with kids, doesn't know much about early childhood development, and pretty much wanted me to set the tone for how we would raise and discipline ours.
I didn't think I'd find a book that hit the nail on the head as perfectly as this one, but lo and behold! This book is flawless! It's a light read, but PACKED with truly useful content.
There were several "AHA!" moments in reading it... I would say to myself, "Of COURSE! That's exactly how I felt as a kid!" [helpless, insulted, powerless, resigned, apathetic]. I could look back and admit how much better I would have behaved if I had felt respected, acknowledged, and empowered to help resolve a situation.
The exercises and examples do an excellent job of putting up a mirror to the reader's face. They challenge the parent to experience their own words from the child's perspective. It's difficult to back away from the controlling habit; it's tough for parents to let go of the "I'm the parent, and I'm in charge here" card. But when the book asks point-blank, "How would you feel if someone responded to you in this way...? How about if they responded like this instead...?", there is just no room for argument! It suddenly 'clicks' to the reader just how fruitless these power-struggles really are. And the book replaces these old habits with better tools - ones that will really get results.
I love that the authors stress putting yourself in the child's shoes. Too few "experts" willingly concede that kids are human beings deserving of (and craving) the same respect we want for ourselves. I also love that the case studies show that kids whose feelings are respected are more likely to learn to respect others' feelings. That is such a simple truth, and so many child-rearing books overlook it.
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12 of 13 people found the following review helpful
By A Customer
As a preschool teacher and parent, I found this book to be the major influence in forming my communication style with children. In fact, this book has given me the skills to communicate more effectively with everyone... my friends, my husband, my boss, and even my mother-in-law! When I changed my approach in how I spoke to them, they often changed their behavior. The logical, respectful strategies really work! My only criticism is that the format of the chapters does not always fascilitate quick 're-read' referral. For example, when I recently wanted to quickly look up a whining, or biting, or mealtime strategy for three of my preschoolers, I became frustrated and confused as to where in the book I had seen the information. These topics were not listed in the index and I began to flip through the pages trying to find the stories and suggestions that I thought I remembered seeing somewhere. Therefore, I would also like to recommend another wonderful new book with the very same philosophy that is organized differently...for quick use on the spot for very busy parents. THE POCKET PARENT is literally a pocket-sized A-Z guide exclusively written for parents and teacher of preschoolers (2's, 3's, 4's, & 5's). It is loaded with hundreds of easy to find quick-read bullet answers (called 'sanity savers') to 40 common behavior problems of 2- to 5-year-olds. I recommend these two books for every mom and dad with a 2- to 5-year-old. Both books are permissive with feelings, but strict with behavior while preserving the dignity of both parent and child. Both books are full of humor and compassion from authors that have 'been there,' too. For help on the spot as well as long term understanding ...keep both books handy!
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2 of 2 people found the following review helpful
4.0 out of 5 stars Little Secrets - Luv & Patience Nov. 6 2003
My in-depth study on the psychology of childrens' minds reveal the facts that their attitudes are solely dependent on their circumstances and their upbringing levels at home & school. It's one thing sure any kid require is 'Love, patience & Self Esteem.' Communication is proven skill. Talking n Listening to kids simply doesn't mean communication but Understanding with luv and patience is the key to successful parenting. This book by How to Talk So Kids Will Listen and Listen So Kids Will Talk by Adele Faber & Elaine Mazlish has even been adopted by many parents in their day to day upbringing of kids. Parenting is made less stressful by the authors as the book deals with coping with parental frustrations and negative attitudes of kids. The child would not develop warm relationship due to damaged sense of self. The need for positive self regard is obvious in the illustrated book. The higher children's self esteem, the more secure, decisive, friendly, trusting, cheerful, optimistic and purposeful they are. Child's willingful cooperation, setting limits, alternate punishments are all the points covered up so effectively that parenting becomes more a joy to bring up kids. The book is a use alone or workshops/parental groups as its excellent exercises will improve ability as a parent to talk and problem-solve with your children. Afterall, children need continuity of guidance and when they learn the consequences of their acts, it teaches them to be responsible for what they do. A great reference book for parents on their shelves - bedroom or kitchen, whatever be!
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Most recent customer reviews
4.0 out of 5 stars I really like the approach of this book and have used it ...
I really like the approach of this book and have used it many times working with parents and families.
Published 21 days ago by George Jay
5.0 out of 5 stars Five Stars
The best fundamental book on communication and parenting out there.
Published 1 month ago by Meghan Watson
5.0 out of 5 stars Awesome Book
Really great strategies in a teachable format, should be mandatory reading for everyone!
Published 1 month ago by Cheryl smith
5.0 out of 5 stars This book has lots of good examples.
This book has been around for a long time and the information is still extremely valuable. Changing the way we speak to our children requires, examples and practice. Read more
Published 1 month ago by Gudrun Klingelstein
5.0 out of 5 stars This will be my bible as a father. It ...
This will be my bible as a father. It will also change myself and my communication styles with adults. Read more
Published 2 months ago by Makoto Nagano
5.0 out of 5 stars There's a good reason why this has endured as a top parenting ...
There's a good reason why this has endured as a top parenting books for decades. Timeless advice for an atmosphere of harmony and respect, and advice that plain works; a strong,... Read more
Published 3 months ago by Lisa
5.0 out of 5 stars Amazing book. I consider my parents to be pretty ...
Amazing book. I consider my parents to be pretty good parents, but as I was reading this book I saw how things could've gone a bit better. Read more
Published 3 months ago by Amy Pullen
3.0 out of 5 stars GOOD BOOK
Good book however it would be more effective if written from a teen's perspective. Think and Grow Up does just that! Read more
Published 6 months ago by Darren Persaud
1.0 out of 5 stars NOT ARRIVED
This product never arrived. It has now been several months late.

I want my $7 back.

What kind of shoddy crooked operation is this?
Published 6 months ago by Julien
5.0 out of 5 stars Wise Advice
An informative and easy-to-follow sensible system which encourages improved behaviour in young people by involving them actively in the process of self improvement. Read more
Published 6 months ago by Maureen Reid
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