I Rant, Therefore I Am and over one million other books are available for Amazon Kindle. Learn more

Vous voulez voir cette page en français ? Cliquez ici.

Have one to sell? Sell yours here
Start reading I Rant, Therefore I Am on your Kindle in under a minute.

Don't have a Kindle? Get your Kindle here, or download a FREE Kindle Reading App.

I Rant, Therefore I Am [Hardcover]

Dennis Miller
3.6 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (27 customer reviews)

Available from these sellers.


Formats

Amazon Price New from Used from
Kindle Edition --  
Hardcover --  
Paperback CDN $12.27  
Audio, CD, Abridged, Audiobook --  

Book Description

Jun 6 2000
Once again there's good news for those of us who rage at the evening news, shake our heads at Washington's business-as-usual, or watch as politicians carom helplessly between political crises and sex scandals: Dennis Miller is back with his third installment of hilarious observations, I Rant, Therefore I Am.

Dennis Miller first gained national acclaim as the wise-guy anchor of "Weekend Update" on "Saturday Night Live." When HBO premiered his weekly talk show in April 1994, both critics and fans enthusiastically agreed: "Dennis Miller Live" was the most refreshing talk show on television.

The accolades have continued to pour in. In September 1994, Dennis and his staff won an Emmy Award for writing and have been regularly nominated since. When he takes the stage, the audience demands, "The rants, the rants, the rants," and once again, Dennis Miller delivers the goods. Fans of his smart, quirky, irreverent style of humor are in for another treat-this set of rants is even funnier than the last two rounds.

Dennis Miller keeps on ranting in I Rant, Therefore I Am, and speaks his mind on topics like:

MODELS-"How ironic that the most exquisite-looking people in the world should end up choosing the profession that requires them to spend all day by the phone waiting for the most hideous people to call them."

COLLEGE-"I don't think you should have to pay back college loans unless you get a job in your field. Put some pressure on the school. If I can't pay my bills, I'm not paying yours."

CONSUMERS-"You know how to tell when you've got a shopping problem? When the lights in the department store momentarily dim after they slide your credit card through the thing."

FAITH-"I envy people who can just let go and totally commit. I, on the other hand, can't even hear the title of the show 'Touched by an Angel' without thinking that a professional baseball player is being sued for sexual harassment."

ASTRONAUTS-"Anybody who would strap themselves onto a giant deodorant spray can, set off a series of explosions under their ass until they've been blasted into the icy vacuum of deep space, and then step outside to take a walk must have more balls than a twenty-four-hour Tokyo driving range."

Customers Who Bought This Item Also Bought


Product Details


Product Description

From Publishers Weekly

The third entry in Emmy-winning Miller's witty and cynical ranting series (after The Rants and Ranting Again) features 53 monologues, an armada of satirical projectiles. Beginning each fast-paced session with the line "Now, I don't want to get off on a rant here" and closing with "Of course, that's just my opinion. I could be wrong," Miller touches on everything from affirmative action to bad taste. He also weighs in on capital punishment, college ("the last convenience store before the desert of responsibility"), consumerism, cops, country music ("Branson, Missouri... where plastic pink flamingos migrate for the winter"), the death of eccentricity, doctors ("When you're not insured, doctors act like you've got some kind of a disease or something"), the end of privacy, fear of flying ("Every flight I'm on there's a screaming baby. Me"), Jerry Springer ("the Yoda of Daytime"), network news, the Oscars, paranoia, talk radio, taxes, workaholics ("power-suited desk jockeys") and wrestling ("To call pro wrestling a sport is akin to calling... Hillary Clinton a New Yorker"). All in all, the volume makes it clear why Miller's fans chant "The rants, the rants, the rants!" when he walks onstageAthey're fun and smart. Even so, in future publications Miller might consider including transcripts from some of his show's incisive celebrity interviews. Of course, that's just our opinion. We could be wrong. (June)
Copyright 2000 Reed Business Information, Inc.

From Booklist

First, there was The Rants (1996). Then there was Ranting Again (1998). And now, this. Can nothing stop this man? As long as his collections of monologues from his HBO show become best-sellers, probably not. Surely we all know the drill by now. Just about every one of these suckers begins "Now, I don't want to get off on a rant here, but," and ends, "Of course, that's just my opinion. I could be wrong." Never were more insincere words spoken. Which is precisely the point. Miller has made quite a career out of superficial cynicism. It isn't so much that he doesn't believe in anything as it is that he doesn't say anything worth believing. Mostly he calls celebrities names, mocks popular movies and TV programs, trashes trends, and glues the name-calling, mockery, and dissing together with the excretory expletive. It is possible to see him as the latest figure in the line of public affairs humorists that includes Mark Twain, Will Rogers, and Bob Hope. In fact, if you think the progression from Twain to Rogers to Hope is actually a retrogression, maybe even a degradation, it is easy to place Miller next in the series. From genius to perpetual potty-mouthed 13-year-old in less than a century and a half--that's entertainment, American style! Ray Olson
Copyright © American Library Association. All rights reserved

Inside This Book (Learn More)
Browse and search another edition of this book.
First Sentence
Now, I don't want to get off on a rant here, but daytime TV talk shows have become a vast, fetid, sump-sucking wasteland, populated by a parade of circus geeks and sideshow oddities that would have given even Federico Fellini a case of grade-A, toss-in-your-sleep, ate-a-garlic-cheese-and-sushicalzone-right-before-bedtime nightmares. Read the first page
Explore More
Concordance
Browse Sample Pages
Front Cover | Copyright | Table of Contents | Excerpt
Search inside this book:

Customer Reviews

Most helpful customer reviews
4.0 out of 5 stars Fun Rants From A Pre-Politically Awakened Miller July 17 2004
Format:Paperback
I think Dennis Miller is a smart and funny guy, and enjoy watching his show. He is one of the more perceptive interviewers out there, and even when I disagree with him, I am always interested in what he has to say, and what the diverse group of panelists he has on says as well.

This book, which was written before Dennis had his political awakening on September 11, 2001, is more center-left politically than he currently is. I think Miller has matured and become a realist since 9/11, and find it interesting comparing some of his rants in this book to his more highly evolved positions today.

The best rants in this book, though, are the apolitical rants, my favorite of which is titled "Fear of Flying." Dennis Miller hates flying, and his insights are extremely entertaining to me, a professional airline pilot. What is interesting here is that except for the actual fear of being airborne, I totally agree with him on the subject of modern airline travel. My favorite line from this particular rant sums up his position perfectly: "Once you've nestled into your seat, which was last cleaned by the Earth-bound third Wright Brother, Noodles, and you've arranged your miniscule stinky synthetic car wash shammy [sic] of a blanket and your Stay Free pillow pad that's the size and softness of a geltab multivitamin, and adjusted to the jet cold, tuberculosis-microbe-laden recirculated air that's blowing right down your spine, you've now achieved the comfort level of a North Korean POW with an ingrown toenail and no premium cable." What can I say? He's right. This is why on my days off you will see me as far away from the airport as is humanly possible.

I would give the book five stars, except the frequently needless adult language really restricts the audience of people with whom I can share this brilliant work. Dennis thanks for setting the world straight.

Was this review helpful to you?
5.0 out of 5 stars A Winner! Jun 7 2004
By A Customer
Format:Paperback
The book is 208 pages long and is divided into 52 different commentaries or "Rants" as Miller (The former host of Saturday Night Live's "Weekend Update") calls them. Each rant is devoted to a particular topic. The rants (all of which are recycled from Miller's show) all begin with Miller saying, "Now I don't want to get off on a rant here" and conclude with "Of course that's just my opinion. I could be wrong".

The rants cover a wide range of topics from The Oscars to College Life to The War On Drugs and Country Music. Miller delivers them in a style that works just as well on the page as it does on a stage in front of an audience. Often when stand-up comics try to transfer their routines to book form, the attempt falls flat (IE: George Carlin's "Napalm And Silly Putty"). Miller's commentaries wouldn't be out of place in a Dave Barry/Tony Kornheiser column.

What's especially good about Miller is that while comedy is his trademark, a lot of times he offers up some words of wisdom. Here are a few examples:

"Maybe the reason Republicans are so pro-gun is because they need them to constantly shoot themselves in the foot".

"Compared to Clinton, eels are Velcro. But as reprehensible as he is, we love him".

A couple political samples there. Another good one is his commentary on The War On Drugs where he sets out to be funny and succeeds, while at the same time making a strong case for a commonly held viewpoint among many that the drug war is bogus.

The humor is, for the most part, consistently funny throughout the book. There are a few moments where Miller starts to go overboard with (...) jokes and (...) references. But the majority of the humor is dirty funny, not dirty and stale.

The only real drawback that I can think of about I Rant Therefore I Am is the fact that some of the more overly topical references now seem somewhat dated. Does anyone out there really care about the 1998/1999 Oscars anymore? Did they even care about them in the beginning?

I Rant, Therefore I Am is a good light read that's just the right length. If you want to see sacred cows become hamburger, pick up a copy of it. Another Amazon quick-pick recommendation is a fun novel called THE LOSERS CLUB by Richard Perez

Was this review helpful to you?
1.0 out of 5 stars lost in space Dec 25 2003
By A Customer
Format:Audio CD
What happened to this guy? He used to be funny
but no more. It seems that comedy has been replaced
by thinly cloaked hostility. Maybe he'll experience
an attack of conscience and retire.
Was this review helpful to you?
Want to see more reviews on this item?
Most recent customer reviews
1.0 out of 5 stars Monday Night Mac Arthee
Ever since Miller was punted from previous gig, he apparently has a lot of time on his hands. Is he bitter? Read more
Published on Dec 4 2003
1.0 out of 5 stars not as funny as the miniskirted McCarthy
If you can imagine a miniskirted McCarthyite riding a Clydesdale in Tolstoy's Russia, you might be able to fathom the absurdity of this book.

Remember: The Right wing tells lies. Read more

Published on Dec 3 2003
1.0 out of 5 stars he is a disgrace!
I am so sick of this guy going on Leno all the time. All he does is selfishly talk about him self and not care for others. Read more
Published on Sep 19 2003
1.0 out of 5 stars Et tu, Miller?
I used to love this guy, but after his appearence on Donahue my opinion has changed. It's wacky, and I don't get it. Read more
Published on Feb 22 2003
4.0 out of 5 stars Very Funny
If you like Dennis Miller, you'll really enjoy this book. The laughs abound.
Published on May 9 2002 by Ragarone
3.0 out of 5 stars still worth a laugh or 2.
I checked this out as an audiobook from the local library rather than picking up the title for sale. Read more
Published on Sep 5 2001
1.0 out of 5 stars Can't throw a spiral - or RANT for that matter
His hands are too small. Don't read this book, just turn down the sound to Monday night football and enjoy the game.
Published on Aug 28 2001
5.0 out of 5 stars Too Damn Funny
I almost got into a car accident I was laughing so hard listening to these rants.
Published on July 6 2001
4.0 out of 5 stars A riot!
If you are a cynic in search of a good belly laugh, this is the book for you. While not as hysterical as the original Rants book this one sure does pack a punch. Read more
Published on May 31 2001 by Theresa Mcdonald
5.0 out of 5 stars Great read.
This book actually had me laughing aloud. His observation of every day life is 20/10 combined with a quick, sharp tongue lets you see today's headlines through a prism. Read more
Published on Feb 24 2001 by D
Search Customer Reviews
Only search this product's reviews

Listmania!

Create a Listmania! list

Look for similar items by category


Feedback