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I'm Ok---you're Ok Paperback – Jun 24 2004


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I'm Ok---you're Ok + Games People Play: The basic handbook of transactional analysis. + Scripts People Live: Transactional Analysis of Life Scripts
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Product Details

  • Paperback: 320 pages
  • Publisher: Harper Perennial; 1 edition (June 24 2004)
  • Language: English
  • ISBN-10: 0060724277
  • ISBN-13: 978-0060724276
  • Product Dimensions: 13.5 x 1.8 x 20.3 cm
  • Shipping Weight: 249 g
  • Average Customer Review: 3.9 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (17 customer reviews)
  • Amazon Bestsellers Rank: #73,972 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

Product Description

About the Author

The late Thomas Harris was a Navy psychiatrist and a professor at the University of Arkansas. He practiced psychiatry in Sacramento, California and directed the Transactional Analysis Association.


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First Sentence
Throughout history one impression of human nature has been consistent: that man has a multiple nature. Read the first page
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Front Cover | Copyright | Table of Contents | Excerpt | Index | Back Cover
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Customer Reviews

3.9 out of 5 stars

Most helpful customer reviews

Format: Mass Market Paperback
Using the Transactional Analysis theory first introduced by Dr. Eric Berne, Dr. Thomas A. Harris has published the results of his pioneering work in this best selling book. This is probably one of the best books that explains how to use this theory in improving all kinds of personal relationships.
Dr. Harris starts off by going into the history of Transactional Analysis and the theories of those before Dr. Eric Berne. The second chapter explains the basic of Transactional Analysis which is the concept of the Parent, Adult, and Child ego states that are supposed to compose each and every one of our personalities. The Parent ego state contains all the information we accept as true that we have gathered from authority figures including our parents. The Adult ego state is the collection of all information that we have proven to ourselves as being true (using some sort of logic). The Child ego state is our natural good and bad side of feelings - love, anger, greed, empathy, etc. The author extensively uses the phrase P-A-C (Parent-Adult-Child) through the rest of the book.
Dr. Harris then introduces the concept of the four different life positions that each of us adopts at any given time. All of us apparently go through four life positions ending up with the last one in a sequential manner except some of us get stuck in the earlier stages (this results in problems that typically need therapy). These four positions are -
1. I'm Not OK, You're OK
2. I'm Not OK, You're Not OK
3. I'm OK, You're Not OK
4. I'm OK, You're OK
The next few chapters of the book focus on the fact that we can change no matter what stage we are stuck in and the theory behind how to change.
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By A Customer on Aug. 26 1999
Format: Mass Market Paperback
This is a simple catchall book. However cursory as the detail is about achieving the state of all round OKness, many of us, myself included were helped by this book. it illustrated the 4 key states of Ok. it has helped me resolve conflict among others since I can Identify what's the matter and see if i can rectify it. This is a critical book and should be a cornerstone to build upon. Even in a Seinfeld episode, I saw George Castanza with an I'm Ok You're Ok book, although he was ashamed that Jerry should see him with it. I say, why should one be ashamed to be reading a self help book. To act as though you are perfectly all right and that you are perfectly well adjusted without reading anything to identify you're personal strenghts and weaknesses is a sign of conceitedness and shows a superiority complex; not a good thing. This shows me that you aren't ok since you need to cover up your insecurities under a mask/facade: I'm better than you and I'm always right, don't correct me, did I ask you? etc... not only reflect your insecurity, but will drive people AWAY from you. oh yeah. To be humble, helpful, humaine and honest (the 4 h's as I callit) seem so simple yet are so hard for many of us, especially Americans. Me being one, I have been bombarded by media campaigns since i was -9 mos. old, preconditioned what to buy, how to act and what to think. I see commercials glorifying greed and self centeredness (the DR. Pepper Commercial) where the girl dumps the boyfriend into a lagoon of Aligators for a can of soda. You're not cool if you don't "Fall into the Gap." Thirsty? Coke is it, or this Bud's for you. etc... ad tedium (nausium) Caveat Emptor ....Hail Caesar, yada yada yada, bla bla bla....
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Format: Mass Market Paperback
I read this book when I was eleven years old, and somehow, I was just old enough to understand it. While Freud uses smoke and mirror terms like "id", "ego" and "super ego", Harris uses simple terms like "child", "adult" and "parent", meaning roughly the same thing but being more accessible. He starts the book off with a chapter on experiments that were performed, involving electrical stimulation to certain areas of exposed brains during surgery. These experiments yielded some of the first and most important discoveries ever made into how our minds work. Then he uses the findings to explain the rest. This is good stuff, beautifully done. Having read this book almost thirty years ago, I can promise you, you'll never forget this one.
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Format: Hardcover
I would recommend this book to anyone who wants to understand his or her behaviour in situations.
The "A-Ha" feeling you get when you start reading it comes when you understand why so-and-so makes you feel small or angry and why certain situations make you start playing some game.
It discusses the basic terminologies and vocabulary needed and then goes on to discuss in different social contexts and developmental contexts the application of Transaction Analysis.
This is not just a vague psychology book like Freud. It is extremely practical and insightful.
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By A Customer on Sept. 24 1998
Format: Mass Market Paperback
I was put off by the title of this book until someone I respected a great deal recommended it. The first chapter is a little hard to wade through as the general principles are explained, but after wading through that I found myself exclaiming "Yes! Exactly!" as I read through. It gave me a great deal of food for thought as I recognised aspects of my own personality and the people around me. Because the basic principles were simple yet effective, the book's message has stayed with me, helping me communicate more effectively with family, friends and workmates.
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