Immortals (DVD + Blu-ray Combo Pack)

 

 

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I saw this movie in 3D when it came out in theaters and I actually liked it, not loved, but it was decent for what it was trying to do. It has the obvious comparisons to 300 which was, ultimately, better (I guess). The visuals are stunners. The acting decent. If you are constantly comparing this movie to 300 in your head while watching it then you will come away from it not impressed. Just watch it as a stand alone movie and not a 300 comparison which I did. I liked it enough to buy it on blu-ray so a hater I am not.

Tarsem Singh is probably best known for his 2000 pscyho-thriller "The Cell," starring Jennifer Lopez. Taking his cues from his days as a music video director, Singh tried to blend twisted artistic noir into a crime drama to create something never before seen. The results weren't exactly a knockout, but it did give Singh enough credit as a decent filmmaker.

His latest project is "Immortals," based on Greek mythology and the life of Theseus, legendary slayer of the Minotaur and eventual founder of Athens. Unfortunately, it's a dire miss (and mess) of a movie that really doesn't go anywhere, or say anything when the final curtain drops. Henry Cavill plays Theseus, the bastard child of a peasant rape victim who is shunned by his village because of his questionable lineage. Befriended by an old man (John Hurt), Theseus trains in the way of battle and philosophy from birth. In truth, the old man is actually Zeus (Luke Evans), God of Gods and supreme ruler of Mount Olympus who has ordered his fellow Gods never to interfere in the affairs of mortal men. This soon becomes a conflict when the tyrannical Hyperion (Mickey Rourke) decides to take vengeance on the Gods by seeking out the fabled Epirus Bow, a mystical weapon capable of shattering the cage that holds the dreaded Titans in check. Imprisoned long ago during a fierce battle, the Titans would certainly reign destruction upon mankind if unleashed. Theseus is thrust in the middle along with a band of thieves and the beautiful Phaedra (Freida Pinto), who knows of the bow's location. This sets the stage for a battle between Theseus and Hyperion, with the fate of mankind and the Gods hanging in the balance.

The worst part about Immortals is that it doesn't really go anywhere, or do anything. In fact, the entire story starts off as one gigantic walk in a circle, before setting up the final climatic battle. There's little in the way of true adventure or awe in the film. Instead, it is a dull and lifeless excuse to shove more artificial (and obvious) CGI shots down our throats, complete with typical, linear color grading and solar halos crafted seemingly from default settings in After Effects. It's interesting to note that the Immortals directly references 300 in its ad campaigns, and for good reason. This is a rather shameless copycat of the now-classic Spartan flick. It's all been done before, from the follow-through stabbings to the slow-motion weapon strikes that immediately revert back to normal speed a moment later. The characters are wooden and impossible to care about. Henry Cavill simply isn't up to the task of portraying Theseus without looking and sounding like a regular guy who does nothing special. This is a fabled Greek hero, for God's sake! The Olympian Gods all look stunning both physically and in their respective costumes, but again....they might as well be cardboard cutouts. The movie is essentially one gigantic, regurgitated story about a people in jeopardy who must fight a war for their survival. I gleaned nothing new from this film except for the fact that it made me pine for the days when these kind of films actually meant something.

*SPOILERS AHEAD*

Equally disappointing was the way in which Theseus' battle with the Minotaur was portrayed. What a shame! Instead of setting up a climatic battle with one of the most legendary creatures in mythology, Theseus simply battles a strongman brute with a bull-shaped helmet. The fight itself is so boring that I almost didn't care that it ended so fast. It gets worse. Theseus' discovery of the Epirus Bow should have been played out like King Arthur finding Excalibur. Instead, he holds the bow aloft just once through the entire film to make a triple-kill that everyone saw during the original theatrical trailer. After that, it's gone. He never uses it again. Likewise, the Titans are all cut from the same cloth, with no two distinctive among the lot, making me think the production crew got lazy and decided to go generic instead.

*SPOILERS OVER*

There are so many missed opportunities in Immortals that I just felt cheated at the end. The final battle is somewhat entertaining, if for nothing more than to see the Olympian Gods cutting a swath through Titans in an excuse to show massive amounts of ultra-violence and gore, but it's no saving grace for the journey I had to endure to get there. Almost all of the cool scenes in the film were given away during the theatrical trailer, leaving the viewer with a few table scraps for compensation. In short, it's nothing we haven't seen before in other films, most notably 300, the very movie it's trying to emulate so openly.

From a Blu-Ray standpoint, Immortals has a near-flawless picture, which isn't surprising given the fact that 99.999% of it is CGI, but I digress. I did notice an overabundance of contrast, however, which has a bad habit of choking out some of the finer details, but it's nothing immediately distracting. The stock DTS-HD Master Audio 5.1 track is pretty standard fare for a movie of this kind, coming from this particular era in moviemaking. Expect a heaping load of bass with typical use of rear channels for ambient effects and a slight difficulty in hearing the voice tracks. Heard it all before? So have I. Special Features clock in at a little more than 1 hour, the bulk of that comprised mostly with deleted scenes and alternates, with a 20-minute feature serving as the only real documentary on the disc. Again, standard.

I hate to say it, but Immortals is a lazy film that relies too much on CGI and color-grading to achieve its vision, instead of a proper, streamlined and interesting narrative with fascinating characters.

Setting aside the myths (as there are MANY different versions of each) and concentrating on this story line, this movie was pretty awesome. The action was spot on; lots of blood and gory moments. The story itself was well thought out. I thought the acting was decent, not terrible at all. Over all, this movie deserves 5 stars for me. Enough that I wanted it for my collection. So, if you're into fantasy and wicked cool fighting. I'd certainly recommend this movie to you

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