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Inseminoid (Widescreen)

Robin Clarke , Jennifer Ashley , Norman J. Warren    R (Restricted)   DVD
2.5 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (6 customer reviews)
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4.0 out of 5 stars Cheese city here, folks Feb. 20 2004
Format:DVD
I had to chuckle to myself when I noticed I am following up a review for a movie called "Killer Condom" with one for a film called "Inseminoid." It is completely unintentional, I assure you. Still, it is funny in a dark, demented sort of way. As for these two films, the styles are quite different. "Killer Condom" is a warped spoof of American detective films while "Inseminoid" falls into the category of straightforward science fiction. Also known as "Horror Planet," "Inseminoid" is one of those hypercheesy rip-offs of "Alien," except on this outing it is Brits instead of Americans working on both ends of the cameras. The movie is a very low budget effort, hardly worth mentioning let alone watching unless you always enjoy viewing low budget British "Alien" rip-offs. Once again, I found myself wondering how a movie like this could get a DVD release while worthier projects fester on the back shelves of video stores in VHS formats. I am not saying "Inseminoid" is bad; it is actually a quite enjoyable romp through the world of schlock cinema, but even I must admit this movie should stand at the back of the line when it comes to receiving a DVD treatment.
On some distant planet in the distant future, an archeological expedition made up of males and females digs up a world of hurt in a series of tunnels near their recently inhabited base. One of the guys nosing around in a tunnel unearths some weird looking crystals, and goes completely bonkers after touching them. The other members of the expedition express the requisite amount of concern for their mentally damaged and recently deceased co-worker, but that doesn't stop them from continuing to muck around in a situation of increasing danger.
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2.0 out of 5 stars The Alien Who Loved Me Feb. 19 2004
Format:DVD
In 1979, director Ridley Scott unleashed the film Alien on an unsuspecting viewing public, pretty much making his career as a director. Of all the great things to come from that frightening, entertaining and highly successful movie, sequels, comic books, novels, toys, etc., the one thing he probably didn't foresee was the slew of really poor imitations that were to follow, including, but certainly not limited to, Inseminoid, AKA Horror Planet (1981).
Written by Nick and Gloria Maley, Nick being most notable for make up and special effects on such movies as Star Wars and Empire Strikes Back, and Gloria's claim to fame being a nominal actress in movies like And Now the Screaming Starts! (1973) and Satan's Slave (1976), Inseminoid doesn't look promising. And it isn't. Okay, so who's directing? Norman J. Warren? The same Norman J. Warren who directed Satan's Slave, Alien Prey (1978) and Spaced Out (1979)? Oh man, we're in trouble...
This English production starts out with a view of some planet and voice over talking about various failed expeditions to said planet. There is currently a third one in progress, and we soon get to seen some people in space suits walking around caves. One of the explorers finds a strange looking pod, and it starts to glow, and then explodes. Whoops...some other stuff happens, and the gist of the thing is one of the female crew members gets impregnated (ick) by an alien who we see for like two minutes and then never see again. I know what you're thinking, "Did the alien copulate with the woman?" From the trailer you'd think so, but that wasn't the case. The alien actually sedated the woman and inserted a long, clear, plastic tube between her legs and some gooey, green, lumpy fluid flowed through (double ick).
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1.0 out of 5 stars Aliens with a big sharp toothed ... Sept. 25 2002
Format:DVD
Pretty bad, but it moves along well enough that it works for a Bad Movie Night. If you like to sit around with friends and laugh at how bad a movie can be then this is a good contender. My favorite part is that the captain is a perfectly ineffectual middle manager. He sits in his "office" and sends one person after another to go investigate and then broadcasts [weak] suggestions to them as they walk to their deaths.
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