The Introvert Advantage: Making the Most of Your Inner Strengths (Paperback)

The next three quarters of the book are a bit comical. It's full of self-help suggestions on how to adapt to the outside "extrovert world". Here are a few examples of what the author feels could help you to relax:

"Drink a cup of tea or a glass of water with a few drops of lemon juice in it"
"Look at a funny website"
"Break out of your routine and do something backward"
"Make cookies and take them to the office or give them to your child's class"

This is the general theme of the book for the last 200 pages! I don't need tips on how to help me deal with life. If you still haven't figured out how to live in the "extrovert world" at this point in your life then you have problems far beyond what this book can do for you.

Perhaps I should have done more research on what this book was really about before I bought it, and that is my fault. I'm just trying to warn those like me that may have been misled. Here's and easy way see if this book is or isn't for you:
Do you watch Oprah and Dr. Phil? - This book is for you.
Do you think watching Oprah and Dr. Phil is for weak-minded people who can't understand themselves well enough to find solutions to their problems on their own? - This book is not for you.

The author might have avoided some of the reductive generalizations by focusing less on "introverts" and more on "introversion" as a common human experience (not the least of the reasons that "Hamlet" remains the world's most popular play). By insisting on two personality types, Laney creates a profile that is likely to be unrecognizable to many readers who may have considered themselves candidates for the "introvert advantage." For example, she asserts that introverts are overwhelmed not only by social gatherings and meetings but by public places such as malls and casinos. But is the latter aversion due to introversion or is it a "phobia"? As enervating as an introvert may find public performance or thinking on his feet, he may find the "anonymity" of crowds, ballparks and the like energizing if not exhilarating. (The author explains how she stayed in her hotel room while her extrovert husband prowled the casino downstairs. On the other hand, while my extrovert spouse remained in her hotel room reading a math book, this shy introvert made the rounds of every casino on the strip.)

The author seems to think that the greatest challenge an introvert might confront is attending a social party, while overlooking the more real concerns of the introvert: fear of judgment, fear of failure, fear of being "seen through" (the "J. Alfred Prufrock" syndrome). More case studies, more examples, more attention to the work of "existential" psychologists such as R. D. Laing or Kierkegaard himself ("truth is subjectivity") would certainly seem preferable to the do's and don'ts. On the other hand, the book may be helpful to readers who have not as yet connected there "tiredness problem" with their personality type.

Imagine feeling alone in a crowd, preferring a quiet corner to the limelight and feeling overwhelmed by phones, parties and office meetings. Do people often think you are shy, aloof or antisocial? If you are an introvert, you are going to completely relate to a variety of comments that are like fireworks going off in recognition of truth. Introverts can hide their talents and only show them in certain situations.

Through reading this wonderful and often humorous book, you will be assured that nothing is wrong with you. In fact, there is a connection between Introversion and Intelligence.

What is fascinating is how Marti Olsen Laney explains how introverts create energy in the opposite way extroverts do. I'm often drained of all energy after being with people for extended periods of time, but being with a book can set me on fire with creativity and energy. I can handle small groups and connecting with familiar faces can actually energize me, but after three hours, I want to find a more peaceful setting.

This book helped me understand why I have deeper thoughts when I'm by myself than in a group setting. People seem to not know who I am in the "real-world," but online, I have found a place to show my true self. This is apparently because introverts are more comfortable with writing than speaking in public.

Are You an Introvert?

Are you detail oriented yet details in public spaces overwhelm you?
Do you prefer small parties with intimate friends?
Do you avoid crowds?
Would you rather be reading books in bed in your pajamas?
Do you get tired when you are around people, but energized when alone?
Do you feel guilty about having to "limit" your social experiences so you can survive?

Does your mind sometimes go blank in group situations?
Do you dislike being interrupted in the middle of a project?

The author has divided her comments into three main sections. First you find out if you really are an introvert, then you discover how to navigate the extrovert world. The last section explains how you can create the perfect life by "extroverting." This is just another way of saying that an introvert can also shine their light out into the world.

After reading the list of famous introverts, you will see similarities in their personalities. The author also gives a list of movies to add to your "must-see" list. Marti also spends time seeking the in-depth answers to brain chemistry. You will also find out if you are a Right or Left-Brained Introvert.

Then onward to "dating." The "Relationships: Face the Music and Dance" chapter shows how personality types collide, how to meet the challenge and then how to appreciate the differences. Even by reading the chapter on Parenting, I started to understand extroverts in a new way. I find extroverts to be fascinating, yet at times they overwhelm my cozy-sit-in-the-corner cat nature with their tiger tactics. Extroverts just seem so aggressive at times. The world can look a little threatening and a party can be overwhelming.

I love the author's ideas about how to be a sea anemone at a party. I've survived many parties with this tactic. If you are worried about what to say at a party, Marti gives plenty of solutions in the form of openers, sustainers, transitions and closers. Then she dives into the hazards from 9 to 5. This chapter will also shed some light on your personal relationships. Ok, by the time I read "Pack Your Survival Kit" this book had been more than helpful. These tips alone will encourage you to create a more peaceful planet.

"The Introvert Advantage" is an encouraging book for anyone who has felt the pain of being an introvert in an extrovert world. Marti Olsen Laney also shows how it can be equally painful and unfulfilling to remain in a state of seclusion. Through reading thoughtful segments on a daily basis, you can finally start to find balance in your daily existence.

This is a must-read book for all Introverts and the people who love them. The author has a comfortable writing style and you will feel "at home" and find yourself "completely" relating to her experiences. It is rare to find a book where you just fall in love with an author's personality. She is cute, witty and intellectual too. Finally someone out there understands! The author has really done her research.

Highly recommended. Add this book to your Top Ten must-read books this year. After all, it will help you understand 25% of the population.

~The Rebecca Review.com, A Right-brained "mostly" Introvert (INFP) and proud of it.