It's a Guy Thing: An Owner's Manual for Women [Paperback]

Lately, I see David as an intuitively aware individual who has observed the world with a keen sense of spontaneous creativity. When he discovers a new idea, he pounces on it and weaves it into his writing. He also seems to be living his own experiment and seems to be a mystery seeker. He also loves to answer questions and he has many inspiring answers.

You may be asking:

Will I ever stop fearing that I will lose him?
Why does he say I'm too emotional when he seems so rigid?
How do I create intimacy?
Why does it seem to make things worse when I try to help him?

If you read any book on Guys, this should be the book. Not only will you discover what men truly want, you will become more aware of how men show love. I had no idea that masculine love was so silent, unwavering and discriminative. David also delves into "polarity," which is truly fascinating. It is interesting to see how women view their intimate relationship as the center of their life and how men view their quest, purpose or mission as the core of their life.

Freedom to a man is what love is to a woman. ~David Deida

The topic of "Why Talking Doesn't Work" was truly an enlightening moment. David explores the reasons men are less emotional during sex and explains how a woman can be a tantrika. He then explores the possibilities of trusting a man to bring you into a state of deeply desired sexual ecstasy.

If you are happy in your relationship and you feel that you understand men and everything is working, this book will give you a few tips and tricks to make your relationship even more fulfilling. If you are frustrated, struggling and want some quick fixes, David has some interesting ideas about how you can use your body to awaken your partners instincts and distract him from less desired behavior. I'm all for the massage vs. talking about all the details of a bad day at work. Once I read the list of what men truly want, I felt I had a few magic formulas, and truly, you can make them work for you.

The main topics include:

Understanding Men
Thank God Women Are Not Men
The Snap, Crackle and Pop of Sex
Ungiven Sexual Gifts
Culture Is the Enemy of Sex
Understanding the Drama of Woman and Man
Dealing with a Difficult Man
Money, Sex and the Workplace
Why Talking Doesn't Work
How to Prepare a Man for Intimacy
The Ups and Downs of Masculine Sexuality
How to Attract Your Perfect Partner
Reclaiming Your Native Feminine Force
Deciding If He Is the Right Man
Succeeding in the Real Practice of Intimacy
Practical Exercises for Healing Your Relationship
Surrendering into Ecstasy

I did have to laugh at the comment about men fearing emotional roller-coaster rides and how they see these irrational outbreaks of energy as chaotic storms. I've been known to let my wrath be known. I've also felt the power of a man's love as he fights for a peaceful resolution. David is right in this, for sure. I can't understand why any woman would not want her man to fight for the relationship. I must be the "I just slammed the door, come get me now" woman. I like that idea and feel rather rejected if I'm left to pout on my own for too long. I do get the feeling that David's books will be more accepted by women on the slightly more submissive side and who radiate more feminine energy.

David's books make me laugh, cry and feel moments of enlightenment. This book is especially interesting because it gives hope for relationships that might feel more like hell than heaven. David understands relationships and this knowledge seems to be his gift to the world.

Living with a man on a full-time basis can be a rather challenging experience for any woman. When David explained how men are "weary warriors," I finally understood the heart of men. I've recently realized how important a woman's loving encouragement can be and how it can transform a man's life. Everyone needs one person to truly believe they have unlimited potential.

I can also recommend:

The Way of the Superior Man
Dear Lover
Intimate Communion
Naked Buddhism
Finding God Through Sex

David Deida is highly educated and has completed advanced graduate work in psychobiology, sexual evolution and theoretical neuroscience. He also has training in hatha yoga, tai chi, meditation and tantra. I'd like to give credit where credit is due. The man has done his research.

~TheRebeccaReview.com

However, I read selected parts to my teenage son and he said "I hate that book, it explains too much!" And there are parts of it that make clear some male behaviors I have seen repeatedly and wondered about.

So ,as with any book, just a little more so,use your judgement, make use of what makes sense, discard the garbage.

Don't get me wrong, I think the author's insights into why men and women, particularly American men and women, have difficulties getting along have merit. I've dated men who demonstrate the behaviors he discusses, so his "insider" perspective is interesting.

At the same time, however, it does seem to be primarily applicable to American gender relations. How American men express their masculinity is pretty unique, I mean we are the land that brought the world ultra violent video games, blow'em to smithereens action movies, and extreme football. It seems disingenious to suggest that the behaviors he mentions are about "masculine energy". Rather it's about the way America socializes men to be men.

More troubling, at times this book reads like a justification for pretty bad male behavior and then, to add insult to injury, justifies it with the quasi-spiritual notion of balance between male and female energies.

For example, here's an example of male energy at work in conflict. Let's say you and your man are in the midst of a heated argument. You retreat to another room and ask for some time to be by yourself. If your man honors this request and leaves you alone, he's engaging his "feminine energies" and the implication is that he is being uncaring. But if he bursts in the room, grabs you against his chest and refuses to let go until you talk to him, even if you hit him, why that's just a manly man showing his love for you. I find the notion of a man bodily forcing you to deal with him on his terms and on his time schedule morally offensive. This isn't about masculine energy, this is about disrespect and disregard for a partner's wishes.

Here's another winner. Deida suggests that men's male energies will really surge if women are willing to engage them in a game of "let's pretend I'm a virgin". I'm not kidding. I can't believe any self respecting guy wouldn't find this just weird (but then again, I've never understood the guys who had the girl scout and pigtails fantasy either)

Moreover, at no point does he indicate that maybe, just maybe, it's not all about women "gifting" men with their love. Mutual, loving partnerships are about compromise and acceptance on both ends.

That said, I did learn a lot about men from this book. So if you're in a relationship or just looking for one, it's useful for understanding the "beast" you're looking to entice, and why he may find you intimidating.