Just a Mom [Paperback]

To her surprise, Betty DeGeneres, once a quiet housewife and mother, has become a gentle, consistent, and rational voice in the gay liberation movement. In Just a Mom, she speaks for all the ordinary Americans whose children have turned out "different" and whose first concern is that they will suffer pain and rejection in life. It is natural, DeGeneres points out, to harbor some disappointment or anger at a gay child, and she guides parents toward appropriate resources and organizations, like the Parents and Friends of Lesbians and Gays (PFLAG). With warmth and conviction, DeGeneres expands on her memoir Love, Ellen to address some of the questions she has been asked as a spokesperson for the Human Rights Campaign, such as "Did I make my child gay?" and "How can I protect my child?" She makes some practical suggestions on how to handle homophobia and threats at school, and how to help build self-esteem in a child whose peers may ridicule him. And she argues on the enormous personal and societal benefits of coming out of the closet. But this is not so much a practical guide to keeping a child safe or combating hatred as a simple, homey, and reassuring recitation of what we all know--or should know: good parenting means unconditional love and support. --Regina Marler --This text refers to an out of print or unavailable edition of this title.

At the end of her first book (Love, Ellen: A Mother/Daughter Journey), the mother of comedian Ellen DeGeneres invited readers to send her questions, comments and letters. This much slimmer volume collects that correspondence and offers DeGeneres senior, the spokeswoman for the Human Rights Campaign's National Coming-Out Day Project, a chance to issue nurturing, practical advice and affirmations, and to gently dismantle myths, stereotypes and fears. Never at a loss for a book to recommend, a Web site to visit or an organization to join, DeGeneres is for many gay people an ideal mother. But parents of lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgendered individuals will probably benefit most from her "straight talk" on coming out, antigay legislation, homophobia, teen suicides and "real" family values. As a peer, DeGeneres is able to address issues, concerns and questions that parents face when their children come out. But DeGeneres is not all soft sound bites. Comparing discrimination now to 22 years ago, when her comedian/actress daughter came out to her, she finds that "today the prejudice is meaner, nastierDa vindictiveness rooted in hatred, not ignorance. It's hard to believe that most of this homophobic venom emanates from churches." The book's chatty style and loose structure makes for easy digestion in short intervals, although some readers may be miffed by the now outdated references to Ellen's former partner, Anne Heche. (N0v.)
Copyright 2000 Reed Business Information, Inc. --This text refers to an out of print or unavailable edition of this title.

In Love, Ellen (1999), DeGeneres revealed what it was like to have her daughter come out on prime-time TV. Now she puts her renown to use in a book of counsel to other parents of gay children. Peppering her advice with the stories, positive and negative, of her own and other families in similar circumstances, she first urges unconditional love and acceptance on the part of parents. This entails not trying to change a child perceived, even before puberty, to be gay; not shunning or silencing gay relatives; and several other nonactions. It also enjoins, in DeGeneres' view, contesting antigay remarks and attitudes, especially those that are ostensibly Christian, and championing gay civil rights, including the rights of marriage and adoption. Although some of DeGeneres' assumptions remain unproven--that homosexuals are just born that way, for instance--her warmth, straightforward simplicity, and loyalty to her family make this an excellent book for parents striving to be reconciled with their gay children. Ray Olson
Copyright © American Library Association. All rights reserved --This text refers to an out of print or unavailable edition of this title.

Betty DeGeneres is the author of Love, Ellen: A Mother Daughter Journey. An activist for gay rights, she authors a column on Planet Out, and speaks extensively on gay and lesbian issues.