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Product Description
Book Description
With Keeping the Love You Find, renowned relationship therapist and bestselling author Harville Hendrix will help you to:
- IDENTIFY your Imago -- the fantasy partner that your unconscious mind, which has a hidden agenda of its own, has chosen for you
- BREAK FREE from those patterns in your parents' marriage that you have unknowingly accepted as your relationship model
- CREATE hope in place of despair, companionship instead of loneliness
- DEVELOP communication skills to turn conflict into contact -- and togetherness
- TRANSFORM every past relationship into a source of positive growth
- DISCOVER the rewards of real love -- and the little things that make it last
...and more. Filled with wisdom and compassion, Keeping the Love You Find will help get your next relationship off to the best start and keep your love strong for a lifetime.
About the Author
For the first time in our cultural history, being single is considered by some to be a preferred life-style. Read the first page
Concordance
Front Cover | Copyright | Table of Contents | Excerpt | Index | Back Cover
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Most helpful customer reviews
6 of 6 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars
Great for someone who wants to understand.,
By A Customer
This review is from: Keeping The Love You Find (Paperback)
Have you ever wrestled with youself when you want to call a girlfriend for the fifth time in a day? Ever immediately think that when someone doesn't answer the phone or return a call immediately, that something is falling apart in the relationship or that they are leaving you? Do you over-try to make someone like you? How about the flip side of this... do you run for cover if a relationship gets to close? Do you become more cold or callous towards your partner the warmer they become toward you?I was always a hold-out on getting therapy until I had a second affair on my wife. At that point, the pattern of things I was doing became very obvious, but I didn't understand why I kept wanting to make sure I had an escape route from my relationships. On the advice of my counselor, I went to pick up "Getting the Love You Want" guide for couples, but I also picked up this book as I felt it focused more on the individual. It made sense to me that if I didn't straighten myself out, how could I work on a relationship. I've thoroughly enjoyed working through this book (about 1/3 though so far) and it's written in a way that, for me, sparks thoughts constantly. I've noticed much more about myself than I ever did before and I feel like I'm getting the understanding I need so that I can move forward in being able to be in a mutually healthy relationship. Even in the beginning 1/3 of the book, I now see that the kind of person I marry (twice) and the kind of person I had an affair with (twice as I said before) are quite different from each other but EXTREMELY consistant to the other in their category. But I also see consistancy throughout all the people involved as well. The excercises should be done slowly, if you breeze through them you can't be very serious about working out the issues as most require honest exploration and consideration. All in all, I'm quite pleased with this book and the new experience of learning something about myself. In many ways, I've felt I've gotten as much from this book as I have my therapy, though I think the balance of having a third party to talk to is very beneficial as well. I've liked this so much, I've seriously considered going to one of the workshops. Edit: I wanted to add, I have found it helpful later in the book to keep a journal as often, the reading has triggered thoughts, questions and revelations that I wanted to remember for myself as well as discuss with my counselor. Further, this book has been terrific in pointing out the type of people I'm attracted to, and why. This kind of information is instrumental in development and maturing in present or furture relations.
2 of 2 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars
Read it,
By
This review is from: Keeping The Love You Find (Paperback)
As a survivor of domestic violence myself, I am extremely sensitive to this issue. Hendrix handles this very complex subject with incredible poise and balance. No, he does not blame the victim. However, he does look at the dynamics of the relationship and how that may have contributed to an atmosphere of violence. He does not say you should be staying in a relationship that will do you harm. He says that you entered into that relationship in order to meet certain needs. The violence meets those needs in an unhealthy way. Discovering the underlying need and it's genesis can help you to meet the need in healthy, non-destructive ways, so that your next relationship is fulfilling, violence free, and lifelong. Read this book, especially if your previous relationships have been hurtful. It was very helpful in pointing me in a direction that is healthy and self-loving.
2 of 2 people found the following review helpful
4.0 out of 5 stars
Buy this book but avoid the Imago workshops,
By A Customer
This review is from: Keeping The Love You Find (Paperback)
The imago exercises in this book are good and have helped my wife and I with communication skills. The Imago bandwagon started by this author does have some loose wheels however that couples need to be aware of. Most of the Imago books put in a plug for the traveling Imago workshops. My wife and I recently attended one workshop run by the Imago therapist Rick Brown. Unfortunately, all the references provide for us prior to the workshop turned out to be fellow Imago therapists with an interest in our money. The majority of the actual PRACTICE consisted of listening to the workshop director's own boring life stories and watching some randomly selected nervous couple stumble through the same execise over and over. Although we made our dissatisfaction clearly known, our concerns were dismissed outright (although our money was kept). Harville Hendrix may have started Imago out as a good THEORY but the PRACTICE of some Imago therapists has lowered the bar significantly. Unfortunately, there is no grievance process for customers of Imago products and even discussing problems with the Dean of the Faculty at the Imago International Institute is a complete waste of time. So BE CAREFUL what you pay for and whether the reviews of Imago workshops that you read are those of customers or Imago therapists!
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