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Kids Are Worth It!: Giving Your Child the Gift of Inner Discipline [Paperback]

Barbara Coloroso
4.3 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (54 customer reviews)

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Book Description

February 1998 1895897572 978-1895897579

Featuring a new Introduction by bestselling author Barbara Coloroso, this parenting classic is set to teach a new generation of parents the importance of treating kids with dignity and respect. Rejecting the “quick fix” solutions of punishment and reward, Barbara uses everyday family situations—from sibling rivalry to teenage rebellion—to demonstrate sound strategies for giving children the inner discipline and self-confidence that will help them become responsible, resourceful, resilient, and compassionate adults.


--This text refers to an alternate Paperback edition.

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Product Description

From Publishers Weekly

Coloroso urges parents to teach children to take responsibility for their actions.
Copyright 1995 Reed Business Information, Inc. --This text refers to an alternate Paperback edition.

From Booklist

Coloroso says that there are three types of parents--Jellyfish, Brickwall, and Backbone. The first two muck it up royally by being too wishy-washy or too firm. The parent with a backbone, however, can be stern when necessary and provide structure yet have the flexibility that children and families need. Coloroso applies these models to a variety of parenting situations, from toilet training to curfew setting. Like the Cosby show, it looks and sounds so easy when the script is already written, but there are plenty of good ideas here for keeping parents' sanity intact. Portions of the book are taken directly from the author's excellent video Winning at Parenting as well as from her popular lecture series. Denise Perry Donavin --This text refers to an out of print or unavailable edition of this title.

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Customer Reviews

Most helpful customer reviews
17 of 17 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars Critics are missing the point -- read the book! Feb. 17 2001
By A Customer
Having just heard Ms. Coloroso speak, I can say with certainty that her critics here online who claim she teaches kids new-age ideas and is anti-family discipline are wrong. Her emphasis is emphatically on teaching kids to be respectful of themselves, people in authority, and their communities. She says that if you teach kids to do what you say just because you say so, they'll grow up to do what people in their peer groups do because they can't think for themselves. But you're still the parent and the one who draws the line in matters of security, morality, and legality. One of her shorthand references shows the differences between punishment and discipline. Her idea of discipline is to show kids what they've done wrong, and give them ways to solve the problems they've created, but allow them to keep their dignity. If your idea of traditional discipline involves shaming children when they make honest mistakes or "explaining" decisions by saying, "Because I said so, that's why," then she's not your kind of disciplinarian. But if you want to teach your children to think for themselves so that they can grow up to be less influenced by their peer groups and work well with other people at home and in their communities, her theories are worth a look. And as for the London reader who says the book is "Typically American," I suggest that person spend some time familiarizing himself or herself with the styles of parenting that actually prevail in this country. If her attitude were typically American, there'd be no need for this book.
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8 of 8 people found the following review helpful
3.0 out of 5 stars Good and bad Jan. 26 2009
The main message in this book as I remember it is:

If a situation is not immoral, unhealthy or life threatening, let it be!
If your kids screw up, give them responsibility of the problem by letting find a solution for themselves.

This is good advice indeed. Teach the kids how to be responsible for their actions and hopefully, make better choices.

The author divides families in 3 categories. The Jellyfish and brickwall families have the wrong approach according to this book. I did not think that it was useful to tell us how the jellyfish and brickwall parents will react to situations in every chapters. After a few examples, you get the point. Repeating how the Jellyfish and brickwall parents would react to a situation over and over again is bothersome. The backbone families have the right approach. This is what parents are intested in. The book could have been much shorter by skipping the repetition.

Too much repetition but good message overall. Still worth reading.
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3 of 3 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars Excellent book! June 29 2000
By Ms Diva
Although the book is focussed on parenting, the ideas and philosophies the author promotes apply to anyone who works with kids. I have found that using the techniques suggested in this book as made me 100 times more effective in my job. Colorosso understands the value of self-awareness and an internal locus on control in healthy development. The book not only helped me in work with kids, it also gave me insight into myself, my experiences, and my relationships in general. I believe that the 3 types of families - backbone, brickwall, or jellyfish - also can be seen as 3 personality styles, so that we are not only brickwall, jellyfish, or backbone people with kids, we are that way in general, where our relationships are concerned. If you look at it this way the book will go a long way to giving you tools to deal with all sorts of conflicts in your life.
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1 of 1 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars This book is NOT for lazy parents Dec 8 2000
If you don't want to put effort into raising your kids, this is not the book for you. But if you want clear-thinking, responsible kids, and don't mind some effort getting there, you can't have a better reference. Ms Coloroso's advice is clear, and should make you think hard about how you interact with your children. Yes my son is 3 and I'm 30. Yes I'm the parent, but he still has opinions about his life, and some are worth paying attention to. And sometimes I'm wrong. Being the parent doesn't make me God. Also note, I'm usually in the right, listening means that I pay attention to my sons' opinions and wants, not that I cave in to them every time.
Believe me it's much, much harder making a 3 year old take the consequence of a misbehavior, and helping him try to fix his problem himself than it would be to punish him for it and fix things myself, but oh boy does he learn more when I put in the effort.
This is not minimum effort parenting, and it's not about letting your kids always having their own way. It's about teaching them how to think rather than what to think.
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1 of 1 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars exhausting but worth it Dec 11 1999
It takes much longer to follow the advice given in this book than it does to slap a child - but I think the results are excellent. My 4 and 3 year olds hit each other significantly less now that I have told them that the rule in this house is "we don't hit". But boy, it can be seriously exhausting with 2 very stubborn children to carry out her theories. We're carrying on with it because I seriously believe she is right and the children learn to think for themselves - go for it, take the plunge too and learn how to treat your children how you were probably not treated yourself! I have already recommended this book to two friends and, after hearing the tape, they have been converted!
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Most recent customer reviews
5.0 out of 5 stars as I didn't have good role models growing up
I used this book to help me raise our son, as I didn't have good role models growing up. It is amazing. Very respectful ways of raising your children.
Published 1 month ago by Martha Hills
5.0 out of 5 stars Coloroso
This lady knows her stuff. It is our parenting Bible. It makes sense and can be applied to any child in any situation, home, classroom, summer camps etc.
Published 5 months ago by Tara Treash
5.0 out of 5 stars Kids Are Worth It!: Raising Resilient, Responsible, Compassionate Kids
I bought this book when my daughter and son-in-law were expecting their baby and 3-1/2 years later they are wonderful parents -- Barbara Coloroso is well known speaker and still... Read more
Published 6 months ago by PJ
5.0 out of 5 stars Every parent must read!
If every parent would read her book and follow her real life / logical advice on encouraging our children to learn discipline with our guidance without getting angry, frustrated -... Read more
Published 7 months ago by val moreau
5.0 out of 5 stars Very Smart Parenting Philosophy
I love that this book is about educating children and leaving both their and your dignity intact. The goal is to raise Resilient, Responsible and Compassionate Kids. Read more
Published 11 months ago by Oreosncream
1.0 out of 5 stars I waited weeks for the cassettes and planned to transfer them to...
I received the book. I don't know what to do with it and I still want the cassettes. Frustrating, frustrating.
Published 11 months ago by Jon Mccormick
5.0 out of 5 stars Great advice!
This book helped me to be a better mother...now years later I have purchased it as a gift for my daughter-in-law who is pregnant with her first child, my first grandchild! Read more
Published 16 months ago by Q. Di Ilio
5.0 out of 5 stars Love, love and Love, my relationship with my kids changed!
I so love her book and thanks to that book, my relationship with my kids changed. Since it has been a while that I did read it, now I have to read it all over again, since I... Read more
Published 19 months ago by Chantal Lalonde
5.0 out of 5 stars More Bookish Thoughts...
Barbara Coloroso's definitive book, "Kids are worth it!", begins with the premise that children merit the effort of conscious, dedicated parenting because of their inherent worth... Read more
Published 19 months ago by Reader Writer Runner
5.0 out of 5 stars Surviving parenthood.
This woman helped me survive and enjoy raising 3 daughters. Now I've bought copies for each of them as they have become parents themselves. Passing along the wisdom.
Published 20 months ago by Shelley Houghton
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