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Kids Are Worth It!: Giving Your Child the Gift of Inner Discipline Paperback – Feb 1998

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Paperback, Feb 1998
CDN$ 14.50 CDN$ 0.01 First Novel Award - 6 Canadian Novels Make the Shortlist
--This text refers to an alternate Paperback edition.

Product Details

  • Paperback: 256 pages
  • Publisher: Somerville House Books (February 1998)
  • Language: English
  • ISBN-10: 1895897572
  • ISBN-13: 978-1895897579
  • Product Dimensions: 24.1 x 15.2 x 2.5 cm
  • Shipping Weight: 340 g
  • Average Customer Review: 4.4 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (56 customer reviews)
  • Amazon Bestsellers Rank: #605,057 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

Product Description

From Publishers Weekly

Coloroso urges parents to teach children to take responsibility for their actions.
Copyright 1995 Reed Business Information, Inc. --This text refers to an alternate Paperback edition.

From Booklist

Coloroso says that there are three types of parents--Jellyfish, Brickwall, and Backbone. The first two muck it up royally by being too wishy-washy or too firm. The parent with a backbone, however, can be stern when necessary and provide structure yet have the flexibility that children and families need. Coloroso applies these models to a variety of parenting situations, from toilet training to curfew setting. Like the Cosby show, it looks and sounds so easy when the script is already written, but there are plenty of good ideas here for keeping parents' sanity intact. Portions of the book are taken directly from the author's excellent video Winning at Parenting as well as from her popular lecture series. Denise Perry Donavin --This text refers to an out of print or unavailable edition of this title.

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Customer Reviews

4.4 out of 5 stars

Most helpful customer reviews

17 of 17 people found the following review helpful By A Customer on Feb. 17 2001
Format: Paperback
Having just heard Ms. Coloroso speak, I can say with certainty that her critics here online who claim she teaches kids new-age ideas and is anti-family discipline are wrong. Her emphasis is emphatically on teaching kids to be respectful of themselves, people in authority, and their communities. She says that if you teach kids to do what you say just because you say so, they'll grow up to do what people in their peer groups do because they can't think for themselves. But you're still the parent and the one who draws the line in matters of security, morality, and legality. One of her shorthand references shows the differences between punishment and discipline. Her idea of discipline is to show kids what they've done wrong, and give them ways to solve the problems they've created, but allow them to keep their dignity. If your idea of traditional discipline involves shaming children when they make honest mistakes or "explaining" decisions by saying, "Because I said so, that's why," then she's not your kind of disciplinarian. But if you want to teach your children to think for themselves so that they can grow up to be less influenced by their peer groups and work well with other people at home and in their communities, her theories are worth a look. And as for the London reader who says the book is "Typically American," I suggest that person spend some time familiarizing himself or herself with the styles of parenting that actually prevail in this country. If her attitude were typically American, there'd be no need for this book.
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8 of 8 people found the following review helpful By J. Graham on Jan. 26 2009
Format: Paperback
The main message in this book as I remember it is:

If a situation is not immoral, unhealthy or life threatening, let it be!
If your kids screw up, give them responsibility of the problem by letting find a solution for themselves.

This is good advice indeed. Teach the kids how to be responsible for their actions and hopefully, make better choices.

The author divides families in 3 categories. The Jellyfish and brickwall families have the wrong approach according to this book. I did not think that it was useful to tell us how the jellyfish and brickwall parents will react to situations in every chapters. After a few examples, you get the point. Repeating how the Jellyfish and brickwall parents would react to a situation over and over again is bothersome. The backbone families have the right approach. This is what parents are intested in. The book could have been much shorter by skipping the repetition.

Too much repetition but good message overall. Still worth reading.
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3 of 3 people found the following review helpful By Ms Diva on June 29 2000
Format: Paperback
Although the book is focussed on parenting, the ideas and philosophies the author promotes apply to anyone who works with kids. I have found that using the techniques suggested in this book as made me 100 times more effective in my job. Colorosso understands the value of self-awareness and an internal locus on control in healthy development. The book not only helped me in work with kids, it also gave me insight into myself, my experiences, and my relationships in general. I believe that the 3 types of families - backbone, brickwall, or jellyfish - also can be seen as 3 personality styles, so that we are not only brickwall, jellyfish, or backbone people with kids, we are that way in general, where our relationships are concerned. If you look at it this way the book will go a long way to giving you tools to deal with all sorts of conflicts in your life.
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1 of 1 people found the following review helpful By Oreosncream on Oct. 8 2013
Format: Paperback Verified Purchase
I love that this book is about educating children and leaving both their and your dignity intact. The goal is to raise Resilient, Responsible and Compassionate Kids. This philosophy will work alongside ANY religion. I love that it is not a set of techniques but does include good and helpful examples. She is right, we need to find a balance between controlling children vs letting them do whatever they want.

This book has stood the test of time. Barbara Coloroso has written many books and they still sell well. We are still listening to her and there is a reason for that - Her message is good and valid.

I love that she brings up what each of the 3 types of families would do in each situation because it points out why these tools do not work. However, each section is clearly labelled so if you only want to read what the backbone family does, you can skip the sections on the other types of families. I found that reading about the other families explained why I went through certain things and had to over-come certain behaviors during adulthood. It confirmed that she was right as well.

I do find that a lot of people who were punished (like myself) became passive-aggressive, liars, and manipulative. Punishment and Fear did not teach me to behave - those tools taught me no to get caught. As a teenager I was a compulsive liar. It wasn't until I was older and realized how that affected my life and relationships that I changed and became more honest. I can only imagine how great it would have been to learn that earlier. What would it have been like to have been able to go to my parents for advice instead of being afraid of them and unable to share anything I was going through with them.
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