Kings of Metal [CD]

No, no, no, little man. This one is not for you. You had best leave right now.

I know you, little man. You're little, and in your smallness you know only fear. When something BIG comes along, something epic, something heroic, something so monumental it can scarcely be believed, it doesn't even register on your little brain, little man. You're like an ant crawling on a side of a great pyramid. It's beyond your comprehension. Your little ears might hear the sounds of this album, little man, but they don't hear the music. You have never known the feeling of utter fearlessness, of living with a wide open heart, that it takes to hear the music. So this kind of power, majesty, and glory are beyond you. What you'll do is what all little men do when they encounter these things. You'll call it "cheesy" or "over the top" and cover up your fear and your lack of understanding with laughter. That will make you feel better, little man, but you're not fooling me. You're whistling past the graveyard. More than anything, this album reminds you of how small you are. That's why you hate it, little man.

Go back to the kinds of records other nonentities just like you listen to, little man. I don't know what they are. Nirvana or the Beatles or Bob Dylan or U2 or whatever other garbage it is the kinds of burnouts and dropouts who end up becoming record reviewers relate to these days. The names change as the years pass, but they're all the same.

Maybe, just maybe, you're getting tired of being a little man. Getting tired of letting other people tell you what kind of music you should listen to, what you should think, what you should feel. Maybe someday you'll realize that this is more than just the best rock record ever made, if for no other reason that, unlike the kinds of "classics" made by bands like I just mentioned, this album is about something higher than just taking dope or taking some effeminate little political position or whining about nothing or just babbling on with a bunch of nonsense -- you know, all the kinds of things little men do. No, this album is bigger than all of that and bigger than all those. This album is Wagnerian, Nietszchean, superhuman. This album is a gift from above. This album is what I would show to god himself, if he were to descend from heaven to judge all mankind for its weakness, its foolishness, its iniquities, in order to justify the existence of the human race. Not the statues of Michelangelo. Not the sonnets of Shakespeare. Not even Beethoven's Fifth. Kings of Metal, by Manowar. For where others are weak, Manowar is strong, and in thier strength they are LARGE. So large, in fact, that maybe it takes a god to hear them. Perhaps they frighten even god -- just like they frighten you, little man, for this record is large enough to let god know that real men walk this earth, men who would not back down from a fight even if it was with god himself.

No, little man, no. Not for you. Stand down. As for the kings among you, stand up. Your hour has arrived. You cannot judge this album. It will judge you. Face your fear, face yourself, and look upon this record. If you are large enough, you will hear the music of the spheres, and see the face of god. And just perhaps you will then even know his fear, the fear of men who walk like gods.

This is a band who's gotten a bad rap by most metal fans throughout the world, everyone just seems to write them off as the "cheesiest metal band ever." Blender magazine (corporate junk) made them one of the top 50 worst acts of all time. Gimme a break! I was hesitant to buy this at first but i wanted to see what all the fuss was about. I am more then happy with my purchase.
The opening track "wheels of fire" could really be compared to the opening track on Metallica's "Kill em All" debut. It's about riding your bike at night and not caring, the rebellious attitude that goes hand in hand with heavy metal music, just in with the Metallica line "no life till leather..." A fantastic way to open an album, the song is catchy, memorable, and will have your fist in the air in no time. The second track is really kind of egocentric, basically about how Manowar kills every other band out there, a good song, another fisterupper, but the lyrics you just gotta appreciate for their again, rebellious attitude. The third track is a pretty good ballad, but I've heard better. Good acoustic work... yes, they use ACOUSTICS! Although the vocals really weren't made for acoustic ballads. Next there's a bass guitar solo that's so fast and energetic it's amazing on "sting of the bumblebee." A fast high note bass guitar really does sound like a bee!
After this there seems to be a break in the album's attitude, which is a really cool thing, the songs "Crown and the Ring" and "Kingdom Come" are fantasy oriented power metal tracks, one which mostly sticks to keyboards and clean vocals, slows down but has a very epic stand-atop-a-cliff-with-sword-in-hand feel to it, creative and highly melodic.
Afterwards there's "Pleasure Slave" which starts out by hearing women having sex and loving it, it's a pretty sleazy sounding song and displays Manowar's love (or disrespect depending on which way you look at it) for sex and women, a surprise track which further enhances the variety of the record. Track 8 is somewhat mediocre but still decent, another hard hitting metal track. Track 9 is just an old man telling a boy a story, a fantasy tale of war an battle, which works as a good opener for the final amazing track "Blood of the Kings." Now this is a GREAT fantasy metal track, their use of choir type vocals during the chorus makes this one extremely catchy and melodic.
In the end i really have to say that this record emcompasses everything a passionate heavy metal band loves, whether it's fantasy, rebellious leather clad attitudes, sex, or a sensitive acoustic ballad, it all goes to show that these guys, though image wise are seen as idiots, really are imaginative, creative, sensitive and passionate human beings. This MUST be in EVERY metal fans collection, it's a classic!

This is Manowar's best album, the best introduction for a neophyte, and just a sick album. Plus it's Ross the Boss' last.
The few recent reviewers I read are full of sh*t and don't understand metal, just their ass and its peculiar needs.
"Music fan from Spring, TX"? You don't even have the nuts to give your name, though you love saying, "naturally growing psychoactive drugs." Besides being lame, how old are you? Grow up and do some drugs, quit tucking it between your legs, and take your pseudo-intellectual lingo elsewhere. You said nothing.
"Prehistoric Predator" has a problem with the "arrogant and cheesy lyrics." Prehistoric Predator? What are you saying? Cheesy? You suck, just like your crappy name, and have no idea what you're talking about. Again, I'd say that P.P. is another know-nothing teen who, due to a paltry knowledge of heavy metal, needs some guidance. I mean, look at the cover-you know what you're getting, you dummy.
"Deathraider2000" (sounds like an evil dildo) also has a problem with this classic cd. Says "silly tracks like Warriors Prayer" ruin things. You, like the others, are not a Manowar or a metal fan, sound extremely young, and fail to grasp what the music of the band is all about. Go think about it for a while, you twerp, and show that you have an inkling of what heavy metal is all about.
This album is Manowar's best, and instills in one a feeling that any of lifes's difficulties may be conquered. Besides being great music with heartfelt lyrics, this album has inspired people all over the world and continues to do so.