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Product Description
Product Description
Are you ready to play some Dungeons and Fucking Dragons? The Kobold Wizard's Dildo of Enlightenment +2 is an absurd comedy about a group of adventurers (elf, halfling, bard, dwarf, assassin, thief) going through an existential crisis after having discovered that they are really just pre-rolled characters living inside of a classic AD&D role playing game. While exploring the ruins of Tardis Keep, these 6 characters must deal with their inept Dungeon Master's retarded imagination and resist their horny teenaged players' commands to have sex with everything in sight. Featuring: punk rock elf chicks, death metal orcs, porn-addicted beholders, a goblin/halfling love affair, a gnoll orgy, and a magical dildo that holds the secrets of the universe.
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Most Helpful Customer Reviews on Amazon.com (beta)
Amazon.com:
4.0 out of 5 stars (25 customer reviews)
8 of 8 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars
Was skeptical, but it was worth it!, Jan 1 2011
By A.O. Dali - Published on Amazon.com
Amazon Verified Purchase(What's this?)
This review is from: The Kobold Wizard's Dildo of Enlightenment +2 (an Adventure for 3-6 Players, Levels 2-5 (Paperback)
I bought this book because I thought the title was pretty interesting, and I wanted a joke book to keep around and laugh at with my friends. I started reading this book because I thought the cut-out character sheets of all the major characters was a pretty interesting idea, and a different way of reading that I was intrigued by.I kept reading because, once you get into it, The Kobold Wizard's D---o of Enlightenment +2 is deep. After about a hundred and fifty pages of boners, CM3 drops some really heavy stuff on the reader. Through the endless sex and gore, ( and it is pretty endless, coming from someone's who's unfamiliar with CM3's work or the bizarro genre in general ) there really is a message to be told in this book, and when I finished it, I really began thinking about what Mellick had just laid out. Not only was his world engaging, zany, and surreal, it was also, in some odd way, really applicable to the real world, and to life in general. If you take TKWDOE+2 seriously, it really has some philosophy to it there at the end. You just have to wade through a see of elf-breasts, perverted sex, and boners to get to it. But, as I found out, it was completely worth it and was an altogether extremely satisfying read.
And to all those people complaining that 'it's not representative of DND', of course it's not, you silly, uptight square. It's not supposed to be DND. It's supposed to be a horny thirteen year old's interpretation of what DND is supposed to be. And as a former horny thirteen year old DND player, I have to say that some of me and my friends roleplaying sessions did play out in a similar fashion as this book. I remember rolling saving throws against cheap hookers to see if I caught an STD when I had sex with them. Albeit, some of the scenes in the book are more graphic than my memories, but in all honesty, the kids in the story are a lot sadder than me and my friends were. The people who make this claim either started playing DND way too late to understand where the author is coming from, or they had the ironclad logical willpower of Buzz Jensen during all their younger sessions.
All in all, I highly recommend this book to anyone who wants a laugh, and something to think about. I know I spat out the hot tea I was drinking as I read this story more than once in hilarity. And some of the parts near the end were sad, too. And enthralling. I will definitely be buying more of Carlton Mellick III's books in the near future, and am looking forward to a very healthy, consensual relationship with the bizarro genre.
8 of 8 people found the following review helpful
4.0 out of 5 stars
Yes, This IS a Book About Role-Play Characters Having An Existential Crisis, Dec 4 2010
By Pterodactyl Samurai - Published on Amazon.com
This review is from: The Kobold Wizard's Dildo of Enlightenment +2 (an Adventure for 3-6 Players, Levels 2-5 (Paperback)
I've never played D&D. I actually had no idea what either D stood for until about a year ago. So I'm sure some of the parody was lost on me. But I'm a huge fan of Carlton Mellick III's other work so I knew I had to check this one out. One of the great things about Mellick's writing is that it sucks you in immediately and doesn't let go until it's over. The same was true of Kobold Wizard. As absurd and raunchy as the title and cover indicate, the story was also funny and engaging, and the adventure so archetypal that I wasn't lost, even amidst all of the elf-sex and Halfling violation. This is not my favorite book by Carlton Mellick but it certainly delivered on its promises and I'm glad I read it.
9 of 10 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars
An homage to an adolescence wasted rolling dice in basements, Aug 22 2010
By TheManFromSaturn - Published on Amazon.com
Amazon Verified Purchase(What's this?)
This review is from: The Kobold Wizard's Dildo of Enlightenment +2 (an Adventure for 3-6 Players, Levels 2-5 (Paperback)
This book is enormously entertaining, funny, and enjoyable. It is obvious that Mellick has a genuine understanding of, and affection for role-playing games and the people who play them.In a nutshell, the plot describes a group of fictional characters in a fantasy role-playing game who have become aware of their fictional existence, and must struggle to free themselves from the whims of their players.
The story takes place on two levels; a group of undersexed, maladjusted teen players, and the fictional characters they have invented to represent them within the game itself. This proves to be an excellent device for character development, as the fictional characters serve to illustrate the wish fulfillment fantasies as well as the insecurities of the players. There are other interesting parallels; As adolescents, the players are in many ways living lives controlled by authority figures, occupying prescribed roles just as their fictional characters are. At its best moments, the novel briefly touches on issues of free will and existentialism, albeit in a delightfully immature way.
In a further clever touch, the book comes complete with all the maps, diagrams, character sheets, and doodles in the margins you would expect to find in a role-playing game.
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