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Kosher Adultery [Hardcover]

4.6 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (7 customer reviews)

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Book Description

Sept. 1 2002
How can adultery-the worst of all marital sins-be considered "kosher"? As internationally bestselling author Rabbi Shmuley Boteach explains, what often leads to infidelity is too much trust and complacency, which causes routine, boredom, and waning attraction. You and your spouse must look to the principles of adultery-forbiddenness, danger, excitement, tension, and voyeurism-to achieve the outer limits of erotic excitement, passion, and pleasure in your own marriage.

In this revolutionary new book, Rabbi Shmuley explains how you can rekindle the fiery attraction and endless lust that existed before you and your spouse became husband and wife: Kosher Adultery. Husbands must turn their wives into mistresses; wives must turn their husbands into lovers. Through the groundbreaking "Ten Commandments of Kosher Adultery," wives become their husbands’ private WebCam girls, while husbands have sinful affairs with their wives, who are completely unaware of the real identity of their mysterious admirers. Rabbi Shmuley shows you how to:

-Create erotic desire in the mind, the source of all lust and attraction

-Look at your spouse with the eyes of a prowling suitor

-Bring the danger of an affair into your marriage without being unfaithful

-Turn attraction and fantasies about strangers into an electric night of passion

-Bring novelty into marriage by viewing your spouse through the eyes of an unsuspecting stranger

-Have a secret e-mail affair with your spouse without anyone discovering your identity

-Introduce erotic voyeurism into your marriage

-Increase desire and sinfulness through the use of erotic obstacles and barriers

Continuing where Rabbi Shmuley’s classic Kosher Sex leaves off, this highly controversial and electric work challenges all past and contemporary scholarship about the marital bed, ensuring that it will be the most hotly debated and discussed book of the next decade.

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About the Author

Rabbi Shmuley Boteach, author of the international bestsellers Kosher Sex and Dating Secrets of the Ten Commandments, is host of "Dear Shmuley," a nationally syndicated daily radio show on the Talk America Radio Network. For eleven years, he served as Rabbi to the students of Oxford University, where he founded the L’Chaim Society, which became the second largest student organization in Oxford’s history. His book Why Can’t I Fall in Love was a finalist for the Books for a Better Life Award, and his latest work, Judaism for Everyone, was published to critical acclaim. A winner of the highly prestigious London Times Preacher of the Year Award, Rabbi Shmuley has debated human relationship issues with such figures as Larry Flynt, Helen Gurley Brown, Elizabeth Wurtzel, the Rules Girls, Deepak Chopra, and Jerry Falwell. Rabbi Shmuley lives in New Jersey with his Australian wife Debbie and their seven young children.

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Customer Reviews

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Most helpful customer reviews
5.0 out of 5 stars Marriage-Saving Stuff July 12 2006
The basic premise of "Kosher Adultery" is the discussion of just what makes adultery so prevalent and exciting. It then gives suggestions for ways to create those aspects in our marriages.

This book accompanied my husband and I on a weekend away, and the concepts within it changed the way we saw intimacy and our relationship with one another. While I am not Jewish and didn't agree with all of the Rabbi's assertions, I agree with the reviewer who said the fundimental truths the book conveyed were what were so key. Rabbi Boteach's words were like soothing balm in so many ways.

As a society we pay lip service to marriage. We say it's our number one relationship, yet we are unwilling to trade the pace of our lives for investing in each other. We put everything first: jobs, children etc. We give our mates the leftovers. Is it any wonder marriages are suffering from staleness and boredom? Is it any wonder that people feel neglected and dispassionate? Is it any wonder half the people at the altar who promise to love, honour and cherish are in divorce court a few years later?

This book was a gift to us as a couple. If you want mere companionship, get a roomate or a dog. Marriage and lust for your spouse must be deliberately re-claimed and purposefully nourished. And Rabbi Boteach's book is an amazing foundation for discussion.

Best book I have read on marriage-preservation, hands down.
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5.0 out of 5 stars A New Spin on the Ten Commandments April 16 2004
This is a gem of a book.
Like David Schnarch's "Passionate Marriage," this book should be required reading before anyone "ties the knot of Holy Vows."
What this book is *not* is an invitation to open marriage, or adultery per se:
"Adultery serves a double wrong; first, because it betrays a marriage and causes terrible pain to one's spouse; and second, because it robs a marriage of the input it needs to survive and prosper. On a more individual level, adultery erodes, if not utterly destroys, the faith and trust that one partner has in the other. Worse, it causes an almost incurable feeling of inadequacy that the partner who has been cheated on cannot shake.... What is particularly unjust about this... is that it is the *victim* who feels responsible."
What Rabbi Boteach advocates is harnessing the inevitable, blind, biological tendency to adultery to supercharge and strengthen traditional, monogamous marriage:
"Just suppose...
*Husbands could never afford to become complacent because they were married to voracious sexual seductresses that constantly need to be re-seduced.
*Wives became the living embodiment of a man's sexual fantasies -- a woman with an insatiable appetite who would do anything for sex.
If this were to occur, would men still need to turn to manufactured porn entertainment when the real thing is in their bedrooms? Would it not lead us to be constantly attracted to our partners?"
Boteach conveys an immense amount of originality in his discussion of what makes marriage work and, conversely, what wrecks it.
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5.0 out of 5 stars This book renewed my faith in marriage Nov. 18 2002
I want to get a copy of this for all my married friends and family! I'm not Jewish, nor particularly religious, but this is the most pratical marriage guide i've ever seen. Yes, you have to take many (most?) of his comments with the wink with which Rabbi Boteach writes them, but underneath are some of the greatest hidden truths about love and marriage. If you take his statements literally (e.g., "Trust destroys most marriages"), you can find much to disagree with, but if you listen to what he's saying underneath (e.g., "Reclaim the passion and mystery of your mate"), you will find it very inspiring. Rabbi Boteach makes the point: if marriage is about trust and comfort and caring and being friends, why not just stay with our parents or siblings. Of course it's about all those things, but the point is, it's also about experiencing the miracles of passion and lust and lovemaking with abandon. As he points out, more marriages are killed by the slow rot of boredom and complacency than by affairs. The good Rabbi has a fantastic sense of humor. He often comes across machho and traditional in his outlook, but his lightness of being (the twinkle in his eye) comes through loud and clear if you read with an open mind. I enthusiastically recommend this to anyone of any faith who is married or contemplating marriage. In fact, I think it should be required reading for any one who wants to entertain a long-term relationship!!!
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5.0 out of 5 stars Monumental ground breaker! Oct. 11 2002
Throughout history, human culture has proven expert at concocting and
binding abstract, artificial "morals" which both fail miserably to meet true
spiritual intent and fly in the face of human nature. Although Boteach has
his own personal slant on certain points, as any individual or couple will, the
important thing is that Boteach's book represents a ground breaking concept,
badly needed and long over due. It's a realistic, fundamental glimpse at
wisdom that likely could have prevented wars over time, were we all capable of
grasping it, starting with the battle over Helen at Troy. His thoughts put one
in mind also of that someone who pointed out the hypocrisies of the Pharisees
("... burdens to heavy to bare, etc."). The concepts introduced in the book can
constitute a monumental investment in realistically and naturally maintaining
passion in thinking people's relationships, as supplemented by additional,
objective research in sexuality and relationships. I know I'll send copies and
recommend this book over and over again. This topic could also use even more
focus and follow up.
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