I have to admit, suspending a car payment to purchase this "toy" was a debate raging inside me for many moons. But, saner heads prevailed and I received my battlestation just in time to have my car repossessed.
The first thing I noticed was that this particular model is not to scale. It is the actual size of a small moon. It literally took 19 years and a team of unpaid, undocumented teddy bears to construct this engineering marvel. However, once it was finished I had at my command an instrument of unholy terror and enjoyment.
I immediately tested it on my neighbor's dog.
After the blast reduced the canine, and much of the surrounding area to subatomic debris, I decided that the world needed to enjoy the thrill of my new toy as much as I had.
This is where my cautionary tale hits a snag. You see, there's this kid. Allegedly, during my world tour I "accidentally" blew up his farm, incinerating his aunt and uncle. Instead of talking it out like a rational human being, this blonde punk decides to blow up my super - awesome Legos.
So now I'm set back 19 years and tens of thousands of dollars in missed wages from all the work I stopped going to. And of course there are no teddy bear slaves in sight.
Fortunately, I saved the instructions. So after a few years, which actually defies all logic to speak of - since my foremen only works one day a week because he is permanently dependent on a ventilator... Thanks Obama, we finally got this thing halfway built and working.
Wouldn't you know it but five minutes later the farm punk shows up, tells me my foreman is his Dad and the two proceed to gang up on me and throw me down an elevator shaft. Which is quite literally where I am writing this review from.
Seriously, what else can go wrong today?