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Ladies And Gentlemen, The Bible! [Paperback]

Jonathan Goldstein
3.6 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (7 customer reviews)
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Book Description

March 31 2009 0143056549 978-0143056546

Yes, it's the greatest story ever told, but let's face it: It always could have used a little punching up. In Ladies and Gentlemen, The Bible!, Jonathan Goldstein brings human depth, humour, and snappier dialogue to millennia-old biblical stories. Goldstein's version of the Bible answers the questions you need to know: Wouldn't a person get bored living inside a whale? How did Joseph explain Mary's pregnancy to the guys at work? How could anyone be as dense as Samson?

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Ladies And Gentlemen, The Bible! + I'll Seize the Day Tomorrow + Lenny Bruce Is Dead
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Product Description

Quill & Quire

The title pretty much says it all. Jonathan Goldstein, broadcaster and author of the ReLit Award-winning Lenny Bruce Is Dead, has gone beyond all previous translations of the Bible by taking all of the Good Book’s memorable parts and comedically rejigging them in the modern idiom. But he’s done so without fidelity to the source material: much of Goldstein’s book is apocryphal. The premise of Ladies and Gentlemen, The Bible! involves a series of Biblical tales told by a father to his son. The book’s aim, then, is to answer questions like: What was the personality of the serpent in the Garden of Eden? How did Noah treat his own family? What was the psychology of the populace during the construction of the Tower of Babel? The book’s breezy style is almost heretical compared to more formal Biblical cadence: “[Cain and Abel] treated making sacrifices the way one would take to being forced to talk to a crazy and infirm grandfather on his birthday.” This is often pretty funny, but it frequently also borders on the smart-assed, the overly clever and self-satisfied. Part of the book’s humour arises out of its irreverence, and there is a measure of shock that comes with lines like, “God would then kick [Abel] in the ass.” However, as a result of its own dumbing down of the Bible’s poetry, what tries to be a light brand of parody eventually becomes mere mockery. Moreover, Goldstein succumbs to clichéd language (“But the way God intended it did not pan out”), further weakening the parody through its own poor expression. And then there’s the utter inability of the author to make anything out of the Bible except silliness: all the moments of tragedy, of loss, are merely opportunities to make jokes. Small jokes.

About the Author

JONATHAN GOLDSTEIN’s writing has appeared in The Walrus, The New York Times, GQ, and in the National Post. He is a frequent contributor to PRI’s This American Life and The New York Times Magazine , and he is the author of the novels Ladies and Gentlemen, The Bible! and Lenny Bruce Is Dead.

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Customer Reviews

3.6 out of 5 stars
3.6 out of 5 stars
Most helpful customer reviews
11 of 12 people found the following review helpful
4.0 out of 5 stars Had me laughing out loud July 12 2009
I enjoyed this book verymuch. Being a regular listener of the radio program "Wire Tap" on CBC with Jonathan Goldstein has made me very familiar with his brand of humour. I enjoy and look forward to the funny, very human, silly and sometimes thought provoking comedic style.
The book stays true to this style. It is not to be taken seriously, but I think might be in part meant to inspire a little humour and add an imaginative human touch (peppered with plenty of character flaws) to the almost super-human heroes of the Bible.
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3 of 3 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars clever and so so funny! April 16 2010
By Zendegy
Jonathan Goldstein's retelling of the bible is a hoot. His Adam and Eve are as real as your Aunt Eva and Uncle Al, only a thousand times funnier. The only thing that could make this book funnier is if he would do an audio version, because his sort of whiny delivery is just so perfectly suited to his material.
I can't recommend the book highly enough. As long as you aren't sensitive about irreverence, you will find this book
well worth the price of admission.
You may then want to check out his excellent show on CBC radio, Wiretap (also available online).
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4 of 4 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars very refreshing July 9 2010
J. Goldstein's humor style is emotional, cerebral, sophisticated, and often plain hilarious. I truly admire anything he comes up with.
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8 of 9 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars An entertaining read. July 21 2009
This book was exactly as advertised: a punched-up and funny rendition of tales from the Old Testament. I've heard some of these stories on CBC Radio 1's "Wiretap" in the past, and was delighted to hear that they would be included, uncensored, in this collection. It's a great read for both the religious and non.
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