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Learning in Relationship : Foundation for Personal and Professional Success [Paperback]

Ronald R. Short
3.0 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (1 customer review)

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Book Description

Oct. 26 2000
Organizations and individuals suffer immensely when relationships sour. Costs soar. Waste multiplies. Pain and resentments paralyze work and productivity. What if these outcomes could be avoided? Learning in Relationship says they can, and rather easily at that. These difficulties are seldom because of malevolence (although we often assume so) or impossible individuals (although we often think "they" are), but because we miss, misinterpret, and misattribute information. Relationships and difficulties are opportunities to learn.

To accomplish learning, the book puts the reader--not the other "malevolent" or "difficult" individual(s)--in charge, knowing that abstract organizations don't change, only individuals change. . . who then work together to make changes in their specific relationship and organization.

The book is divided into three parts: Thinking Lessons, Inquiry Lessons, and Application Lessons. The reader walks away with specific maps, methods, and models to put into immediate use.


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Stripped to its essence, this book is about how to learn from others who have different perspectives. Read the first page
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Most helpful customer reviews
0 of 4 people found the following review helpful
3.0 out of 5 stars Book review Aug. 5 2011
Book was in good shape although delivery was within indicated time. I ordered 3 other book sand received them in only 2 days instead of 8.
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Amazon.com: 4.8 out of 5 stars  5 reviews
11 of 12 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars Excellent, Insightful, Eye-opening June 9 2000
By A Customer - Published on Amazon.com
The skills and awarenesses that this book teaches can be invaluable to any reader. I'd recommend this book to anyone who wishes to improve his or her interactions with others. This book introduces or reinforces the concepts that every person's viewpoint is unique, that we each have our own reality or story, and that we bring that story to every interaction we have with others. Thus, a critical component of having effective and meaningful dialog with others is our ability to be aware of our own stories "in the moment" and understand that others have their own stories. The book offers techniques to enhance our skills at learning through interaction. The technique, "learning from mutual inquiry" is incredibly helpful, as it shows how we can share information about our own perspective and invite others to do the same in a non-threatening manner. This is a skill that I believe very few people have mastered. In addition to focusing on heightening awareness about our one on one interactions, a good portion of this book identifies how a reader may apply these skills to analyzing and improving systems (for example, analyzing patterns of communication behavior and potentially improving those interactions based on uncovering why those patterns exist). Hats off to Ron Short for sharing his wealth of knowledge. I wish I read this book sooner!
5 of 5 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars A great book! July 14 2005
By Hsuan Hua Chang - Published on Amazon.com
I read this book twice so far and I am learning a lot from it.

Ron uses very simple language to explain very deep thoughts on living and learning from inside-out; different types of inquiries and how to apply the inquiries on our daily relationships.

He said - the secret of learning is to observe, not change, yourself.

The book is very easy to read, and well organized. It offers me a lot to think as a certified professional life/business coach, a single mom with 3 teens, and a high-tech employee in a large and just merged cooperation.

I have recommended this book to all my friends and highly recommend it to everyone who is into personal growth.
1 of 1 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars Rethinking the Concept Relationship April 6 2013
By Gillian Weathers - Published on Amazon.com
Verified Purchase
I was on my second reading of this book. It needs re-reading because it is easy reading and there are profound understandings that need to be mused on individually. This time it struck a new and powerful chord in me.

In the Vietnam era I was in the military and at about the age of 23 suffered some life-threatening, horrific and unbearable experiences. They were so unbearable to me that I tried to escape with suicide and failing that or because of it remembered nothing about what had happened to me. I was not even curious as to why I had made the suicide attempt, which was being staggeringly disconnected from myself. When I was 56 the PTSD caused me to implode and require therapy. It took three years to remember what had happened to me and then in tiny details, flashes of experience laid on top of one another until the shape of my experience became discernible.

A period of my life was laid open to me that had been lost. This was a fragment of myself that was amnesiac. I had to work at being changed by this buried part of myself, at redefining who I was. In doing this I came to know that there are many fragmented parts of what is 'me'. Ironically, the same principles of interaction within myself were reflected in the first chapters of this book. One part of me had finally 'decided to tell her story'. Other parts of myself were rocked by the impact of that. Parts of me insisted I was imagining this, other parts wanted more than anything to believe I was imagining it. I didn't want to learn about being a mixture of segments of myself rather than one clearly defined individual. I didn't want to acknowledge disagreements and conflicts in myself and I didn't want to change.

I am going to read this book again. I am going to start it with the intention of listening to the parts of me I don't want to hear from. It is scary and a little exciting too.
5.0 out of 5 stars Relationships can grow as we learn to share openly March 16 2014
By Janet A. - Published on Amazon.com
Verified Purchase
This book seems exceptional. it very clearly defines how we can learn to speak our inner truth to one another in calmness and sincereity. It is helping me to examine how I listen to conversations at meetings as I listen to my inner self experiencing it and then speaking from my own truth of the moment. Should be very helpful to anyone and groups.
4.0 out of 5 stars Learning communication mis-steps Aug. 2 2013
By J. P. Reynolds - Published on Amazon.com
Verified Purchase
This book was highly recommended to me and I bought it hoping to get some new insights into the interpersonal challenges of speaking assertively and holding difficult conversations. I teach and consult on these topics and am always looking for ways to help students and clients make sense of how they can strategically develop new behaviors.

While the book was more "academic" than I had been led to believe, I found some great nuggets of insight into why we get caught up in conversation spirals that confuse and frustrate.

For me, Lesson 2 in Part 3 was worth the price of the book. The example Short uses is real in its simplicity and he unpacks the example's dynamics in a way that clearly makes intelligible the dysfunctional components of the conversation example.

I recommend this book to seasoned professionals, i.e. teacher or trainer, as it is a lean examination of the inner workings of conversations that sabotage relationships.
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