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From Amazon
This is a survival guide for parents who find themselves marooned among volatile and incomprehensible aliens on Planet Teen. Area maps cover the obvious ground--there are chapters on school, sex, suicide, and so on--but it's the title of Chapter 2, "What They Do and Why," that best captures the book's spirit and technique. Anthony Wolf's modus operandi is not so much to make pronouncements about what parents should do, as to explain adolescent behavior in a way that's bound to leave parents with a changed view of the plausible options. Wolf is a clinical psychologist, and his writing is clear--even witty--and he doesn't resort to jargon. The expository text is punctuated with snatches of illustrative dialogue, which serve as concrete examples and help parents learn how to see, anticipate, and avoid "bad strategies." (One key mistake is getting dragged into no-win conflicts instead of having the wisdom to shut up at the moment when shutting up would be most effective--albeit the least satisfying--thing to do.) There are also some nicely tongue-in-cheek samples of "ideal" communication--the stuff we imagine might get said if only we were better parents. After one such rosily cooperative and considerate interchange between a father and his adolescent son, Wolf offers the following two-edged comfort: "The above conversation has never happened. Never. Not in the whole history of the world." Message: Parenting adolescents is inherently difficult. Don't judge your efforts by otherworldly standards. --Richard Farr
--This text refers to an out of print or unavailable edition of this title.
From Publishers Weekly
This updated edition (a chapter on gay and lesbian teenagers and the ramifications of the electronic world have been added) will be as useful to parents as the 1992 version. Wolf, a clinical psychologist who works with adolescents (Why Did You Have to Get a Divorce? And When Can I Get a Hamster?), clearly has a feel for both the angst of young people who must deal with an evermore complex world and the difficulties parents face when a cooperative loving child morphs into a teenager who lies, talks back and avoids parental company. Humorous and insightful, Wolf describes what is, rather than what mothers and fathers of rebellious and thoughtless adolescents wish would be. He is forthright in stating that "you do not win the battle for control with teenagers... usually the best you get is imperfect control." Despite the best efforts of parents, today's adolescents frequently drink, experiment with drugs and are sexually active. According to the author, however, it is still important to have rules even though a teenager may break them. If parents clearly state their expectations of behavior and restate them when a teen disobeys, their son or daughter will, to some extent, internalize the rules and abide by them sometimes. In addition to providing excellent advice on particular situations, including divorce, school problems and stepparenting, he makes the often obnoxious manner in which teens communicate with their parents understandable as a rite of passage that they will eventually outgrow.
Copyright 2002 Cahners Business Information, Inc.
Copyright 2002 Cahners Business Information, Inc.
Inside This Book
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First Sentence
Adolescence is unlike any other period in life. Read the first page
Front Cover | Copyright | Table of Contents | Excerpt | Back Cover
Adolescence is unlike any other period in life. Read the first page
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Concordance
Browse Sample PagesConcordance
Front Cover | Copyright | Table of Contents | Excerpt | Back Cover
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Most helpful customer reviews
4 of 4 people found the following review helpful
2.0 out of 5 stars
Not bad, but not good either,
By A Customer
This review is from: Get Out Of My Life, But First Could You Drive Me And Cheryl To The Mall? (Paperback)
As a child psychologist myself, I've been reading a large number of parenting books looking for material to suggest to families I see. While this book is not a total waste of time, and there are some (IMHO) worthwhile ideas in here, I would not recommend this book to anyone. I listened to the audiobook version, and while no prude at all, I did find the use of vulgarity excessive. Apparently the author assumes teens all swear like linebackers around their parents. While I know they have a colorful vocabulary, many use discretion regarding when they use it, and his presentation made it appear this is the norm and not to be too concerned about it. After 15 years in practice I can count on one hand the numbers of teens who have cursed in my office without immediately catching themselves and apologizing.Second, I find his stance on many issues to be rather passive and unnecessarily so. While I always advise parents to choose their battles, and certainly am aware that total control is neither possible nor recommended, I found this approach to be a bit too much of the 'shrug you shoulders...what can you do' ilk. There are worse parenting books out there, but there are better as well.
1 of 1 people found the following review helpful
1.0 out of 5 stars
Get Out of My Life, But First Could You Drive Me and Cheryl,
By "lightship" (USA) - See all my reviews
This review is from: Get Out of My Life, But First Could You Drive Me and Cheryl to the Mall? (Paperback)
If you want to get depressed buy and read this book. Wolf spends 80% of his time writing about deep and dark problems and maybe 20% on solutions. If you want a positive book with real solutions get Uncommon Sense for Parents with Teenagers.
1 of 1 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars
Parental Survival Kit,
By A Customer
This review is from: Get Out of My Life, But First Could You Drive Me and Cheryl to the Mall? (Paperback)
Having raised both a teenage son and daughter, I found myself referencing this book quite often. It helped at many different stages of their growing years. It gave me insite into what their thought process was...which enable me to alter my approach. It is difficult for a parent to understand what is on a teenagers'mind when your utmost concern is for their safety. I highly suggest this book...and make sure you keep it on hand ...you will be surprised how often you pick up. STILL SURVIVING
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