"We love each other, but... we could use some expert advice so that we can keep on loving." If you have ever thought about your relationship in these terms, then this is a must-read book for you and your partner. Dr. Wachtel knows about the perils of co-navigating a marriage, both from her professional experience as a researcher and family therapist (she has "worked with close to one thousand couples"), and from her own life (she has been married to the same man "for more than thirty years"). Her book is accessible and fun to read, integrating brief, illustrative case histories with keen (and also brief!) psychological analyses, followed by sensible suggestions for couples to work out their problems. Dr. Wachtel organizes her material into eight chapters on such topics as decision-making, arguing, raising children, and having a satisfactory sex life (while doing all of the above!). I particularly like how she addresses the reader, simply and directly, throughout her narrative; for example, in her discussion of "harmful words" during arguments, she tells us: "Even if you apologize and explain that you didn't mean what you said, your partner may still be hurt. . . . Your partner not only feels wounded by your words but by the fact that you wanted to be so hurtful." Occasional references to her personal experiences enrich the narrative, allowing the reader to envision the author as a real person, herself struggling with life's challenges, as when she discusses some minor and major differences between her and her husband: "Poking around in flea markets is a real treat for me, but he becomes restless. . . . We differ even on such fundamentals as child-rearing philosophies and religious convictions." The book's last chapter, titled "We Love Each Other and We Get Along Well, But... Is This It?", offers the author's view of relationships as ongoing, developing, fluid processes. It is not enough just to learn how to deal with conflict within a stable, friendly marriage. After all, don't we also want to have fun, to share life's joys with our partner? Dr. Wachtel knows the importance of passion and romance in relationships. "Continue to surprise yourself and your spouse," she tells us, "Have little adventures together and apart. . . . Start to tell jokes. Take up swing dancing. . . ." And enjoy reading this book with your significant other, I tell you--it is definitely worth it!