Love Is An Orientation [Paperback]

It's become one of the main issues of our time. It's a spiritual question, a relational question, and, in past decades, a highly politicized one. You'll find extremely strong opinions on both sides, and these polarized opinions can lead to confrontation, heated argument, broken relationships, even violence.

The issue: homosexuality.

The complexity of the issue is sometimes hidden beneath the same old rhetoric from both sides. One side tends to boil it down to a simple injunction to stop, often in very insensitive ways. The other side, defensive and angry, has its own tendencies to resort to inflammatory language and hate of its own. How can a bridge be built between these two communities?

Enter Andrew Marin and his book, Love is an Orientation.

Let me be clear about something up front. As a conservative (both theologically and politically), bible-believing Christian, I found a decent amount in this book that I disagreed with. I even found myself answering some of Marin's statements out loud. For the most part, however, I found myself challenged to take on a quality that the Christian community claims to value: empathy.

That's really the strength of this book. You might not agree with all that Marin says (I certainly didn't), but his ability to put you in the shoes of members of the gay, lesbian, bisexual, and transgendered (GLBT) community is powerful. This is a quality missing from much of the discussion Christians have regarding the issue of homosexuality. It's easy to look at the passages in the bible that condemn homosexuality and think things are clear-cut; don't do it. The issue isn't really that simple, however, for GLBT people who desire to walk with God, but struggle to reconcile their sexual desires with God's revelations in scripture. Others who don't want anything to do with God simply hear a condemnation of their identity from Christians, which only confirms they want nothing to do with the God of those people.

Andrew Marin has learned empathy by immersing himself in Boystown, the GLBT neighborhood in Chicago, and forming The Marin Foundation, which works to build bridges between the GLBT community and the Christian community. Marin draws from this experience throughout the book, sharing stories of GLBT people he's encountered, detailing their stories and struggles. Some are powerful. Some give hope. Some of downright depressing. The same can be said of people from any group. Marin successfully and powerfully puts a human face on the issue, which is sorely needed for many to see.

There are a few problems with the book, though. For one, Marin never really articulates accurately what the gospel is and how it applies to the GLBT community. He talks about them having an "authentic relationship with God," but there's no discussion of specifically how Jesus' death on the cross saves people from God's wrath against their sin, enabling that relationship to happen. I'm certain Marin understands this, but I would have loved to hear a discussion of this in the context of the GLBT community. He's just a little too vague on the gospel for me.

He also refuses to really answer the question of whether or not homosexuality is a sin. I understand why he does this for the purposes of the book, but it just left me thinking that it eventually has to be answered for GLBT people at some point. He seems content leaving that decision up to the individuals and letting the Holy Spirit speak to them on the validity of their sexuality. I agree the Holy Spirit is the one who convicts of sin, but we're also called to help each other identify sin in our lives.

These issues aside, I think this is an important book for furthering (and elevating, as Marin puts it) the discussion. There are still many questions that beg for answers, and I believe those answers are there, but the discussion needs to be re-framed. I believe that happens when Christians really put themselves in the shoes of GLBT people, really love them regardless of whether or not they ever change their lifestyle. We don't have to water-down the truth, but love for the people that truth is affecting needs a more prominent place. That's the main thrust of the book, and it's an important message.

In a world that increasingly welcomes and accepts those of the gay, lesbian, bisexual, and transsexual (GLBT) orientation, Christians must open their eyes and ears to what GLBT people are saying about God, the Scriptures, the church, and human sexuality. This is especially true if we want to minister among them.

Furthermore, the GLBT issue is increasingly being brought up on television and in politics. Numerous states are passing laws legalizing same-sex marriage. Therefore, it is vitally important for Christians to know how to respond to these situations, not only in truth, but also in love.

Andrew Marin is one Christian who is pioneering the way.

In his book, Andrew Marin provides an excellent overview of the absolute necessity for Christians to build bridges to those people who are in the GLBT community. As Christ took the initiative and came to us, we must take the initiative in building bridges of hope and love to others.

Thankfully, Andrew Marin is not writing theoretically, but from yeas of experience from living among the GLBT community as the "gayest straight person in the world."

The book provides excellent insights and guidelines for working alongside and developing relationships with people in the GLBT community. For example, Andrew advises the four of the most important things Christians can do are (1) love, (2) listen, (3) don't judge, and (4) seek friendship and conversation. Also, he recommends we stop saying "Love the sinner; hate the sin" and referring to those in the GLBT community as "homosexuals." Both, he explains, are derogatory.

One helpful feature of the book is the answers to the five main questions that are on the minds of most Christians. The questions are:

1. Do you think that gays and lesbians are born that way?
2. Do you think homosexuality is a sin?
3. Can a GLBT person change?
4. Do you think that someone can be gay and a Christian?
5. Are GLBT people going to hell?

I imagine that as you read this short review, one or two of these questions crossed your mind as well. I believe that Marin provided some excellent answers to these questions in his book. Sadly, I don't have room to reproduce the answers here...so I guess you'll just have to buy and read the book for yourself.

This book is a welcome contribution to the discussion about the rift between Jesus' conservative followers and the mainstream gay culture. I believe it will speak to people all across the spectrum. For instance, I am a Christian. I also happen to be gay. I also have chosen to be celibate. But my choice to do so doesn't mean I think that's the best way for all gay people. I grew up a conservative evangelical, and that's the world I know best and am most comfortable in. But I identify as gay, and I am post-belief that God's intent for me is to change my orientation. So where does someone like me go?

Believe it or not, the self-described "straight, white, Bible-banging, conservative evangelical" former homophobe Andrew Marin has a great deal to offer me. I first heard Andrew speak at the National Pastor's Convention in San Diego 2009. I can't tell you how excited and hopeful it made me to hear a voice from the conservative evangelical community advocating for a new approach from Christians toward LGBT people - he had me in tears that day.

I believe this, one of Andy's fundamental principles established in the book, rings very true: that if there is to be any change, mitigation, or lessening of the verbally (and sometimes physically) violent culture war between gay people and Christians, it is the Christian's responsibility and call to lay down our arms and take a new, humble approach to loving the gay community. Mainstream gay culture has no motivation to do so; Christians, however, have the greatest sort of motivation - the love Jesus has given us to share.

I don't care who you are or where on the spectrum you find yourself - if you care about this issue at all, Andy's story and message will benefit you.