First released twenty years ago, Love and Limerence has become a classic in the psychology of emotion. As relevent today as it was then, this book offers insight into love, infatuation, madness, and all flavors of emotion in between.
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2 of 2 people found the following review helpful
Format:Paperback
Tennov fails to make such distinctions as those between what she actually calls the "limerence" of a battered wife and the overwhelming universal involuntary biological phenomenon of limerence that serves the fundamental evolutionary command to "be fruitful and multiply." She asserts in her 1999 preface that she found nothing to change about her understanding of love or limerence since the original edition. Evolutionary psychology has a long way to go in its disregard of the complementary clinical findings of depth psychology and object relations theories, and Love and Limerence remains "politically correct" testament to that. (Experts in the archetypal symbols and processes of the psyche will have a field day with the case stories.)
Yet this remains a very important book, exceptionally well written for its time. If you aren't on the floor in stitches at the countless private stories of the complete insanity and embarrassment of "The Supreme Delight," then you can only be among the (lucky or unlucky?) few immune to the grip of the often cruel involuntary falling in love experience. Divine madness, indeed -- yet also of "higher" archetypal integration processes and purposes than Tennov and her evolutionary psychology colleagues are yet capable of grasping. Highly recommended for its part, especially for anyone suffering its unrequited grip, but with reservations. A General Theory of Love by Thomas Lewis, offering a stunning and poetic current understanding of the importance of limbic brain function in mammalian love and attachment that includes an understanding of depth dynamics, is must companion reading. (Don't miss Dorothy Tennov's review below.)
1 of 1 people found the following review helpful
By Kim
Format:Paperback
I ordered the book to try and find out all I could about the state of limerence that I was in. I was hoping to find advice on how to end the limerent feelings (which the book did contain to a certain degree, ie basically avoid the person you feel limerent about, if it is unrequited)
The book was very helpful in that it made me feel somewhat normal, and I discovered my feelings and bursts of intense creativity, overwhelming sadness, interspersed with the highs that come with fleeting hope are a regular part of this condition. It made me feel like I wasn't so alone, and not totally insane.
From a psychological point of view I found the book and theories interesting. There are many limerent case histories peppered throughout the book. If you have been (or still are) in a limerent state you will recognise the patterns!! You will see parts of yourself in many of the case histories!
The one draw-back to the book is while reading it, and for about a week afterwards my limerence steadily increased. I lent the book to a friend, who is also going through the same thing, and the same thing happened to him.
If you are feeling love-sick or know of somebody who is- get the book it is money well spent(especially if it's unrequited love) but be warned that intensity might increase for a short duration. It really is well written and informative.
1 of 1 people found the following review helpful
By J.
Format:Paperback
What a wealth of information Dorothy Tennov offers. What a resource for those who become love obsessed with one particular person. Apparently it is not all of us. Some of us become "limerant" (her name for being "in love") and some of us never do. Some of us are limerant sometimes and other times not. It is key to know that the condition is NOT LOVE. That it is INVOLUNTARY, that it is NORMAL, that it has existed since the beginning of history, that there are probably EVOLUTIONARY REASONS for it, that there are TRIGGERS which set it in motion, that "sufferers", are legion, that practically nothing is known about preventing it, or ending it at will. Ouch!
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