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11 of 11 people found the following review helpful:
5.0 out of 5 stars
Love and Respect, Mar 22 2008
I am a man who normally does not read or enjoy reading "inspirational" or "relational" books. My wife is the reader in these areas and is very wise and self-developed in these areas. Unfortunately, I usually don't read the books she recommends. However, this book is different. I liked it. It hits home to my basic needs. I think many women don't realize the importance to men of unconditional respect as described in this book. I'd recommend it strongly to any husband and wife who want to deepen their relationship. If you are a wife who can't get your husband to read inspirational books, relational books or marriage books, you might be pleasantly surprised to find him reading along with you and discussing this book with you.
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7 of 8 people found the following review helpful:
5.0 out of 5 stars
Book Shows Husband's Side, Sep 27 2009
Love and Respect, though seemingly just another self-help, pop-psychology book, offers a potentially ground-breaking view of marriage. Rather than calling for the typical sissification of the man by getting him to talk about his feelings and in general see things through a woman's eyes, Dr. Eggerichs asks women to see men differently as well. For once, an author does not assume that women's ways of doing things are normative and morally superior, and that men must conform.
Central to the argument, Eggerich asserts that men and women are not the same, and that the Bible's teachings on marriage are as valid as ever because it shows how men and women have different needs. While women are verbal beings in need of assurance that they are loved and safe, men are action-oriented, and would rather silently share an experience than talk about feelings. Men communicate through words, but more than that, through their actions.
Feminists have indoctrinated women to look down on men and not to understand men. They no longer meet their husband's deepest need, which is to feel respected. When they cut down their husband, he shuts off, and she feels unloved. In order to get that love, she becomes more rude and cutting so that he will be able to see just how desperately unloved she feels. This leads the husband to distance himself even more. Thus the couple has entered a vicious cycle.
For this cycle to be broken, wives need to respect their husbands unconditionally, even when they don't feel respect for their man. The husband must unconditionally love his wife, even when he doesn't feel it. This love and respect is actually not about feelings, but about responding to God's call.
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4 of 4 people found the following review helpful:
3.0 out of 5 stars
Love & Respect Indeed, Dec 7 2009
Two years ago, before I was married, I read this same book by Dr. Eggerich. At the time, I thought 'well, this sounds reasonable', and continued along my merry way after closing the front cover. I remember now that, at the time I'd picked the book up at the store, a woman mentioned to me 'this book saved my marriage, honestly... pay attention and you won't regret it'. Reading it through for a second time, after being married for a year and a half? Dr. Eggerich has it right.
Women need love, and men need respect. Both are mutually inclusive, because when a woman receives love she feels respected, and when a man is respected, it's a sign of love to him. Eliminate either love or respect, and couples start on what he terms 'the Crazy Cycle'. How do you stop the crazy cycle? It's all based on love and respect. Dr. Eggerich outlines what this means for both husbands and wives, what they can do to increase love and respect (and maintain it!), and how to prevent getting back on the Crazy Cycle in the future.
Whether you're dating, engaged, or married for any length of time, the Dr. speaks the truth... and it's worth a listen!
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