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Love Respect Hardcover – Sep 7 2004


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Product Details

  • Hardcover: 336 pages
  • Publisher: W Publishing Group (Sept. 7 2004)
  • Language: English
  • ISBN-10: 1591451876
  • ISBN-13: 978-1591451877
  • Product Dimensions: 2.5 x 16.5 x 24.8 cm
  • Shipping Weight: 499 g
  • Average Customer Review: 4.6 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (34 customer reviews)
  • Amazon Bestsellers Rank: #100,492 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

Product Description

About the Author

Dr. Emerson Eggerichs, an internationally known expert on male-female relationships, presents the Love & Respect conference with his wife, Sarah, both live and by video to more than 50,000 people each year, including groups such as the NFL, PGA, and members of congress. With degrees from Wheaton College and Dubuque Seminary and a PhD from Michigan State, Emerson pastored Trinity Church in Lansing for 19 years. He and Sarah have been married since 1973 and have three children.


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Customer Reviews

4.6 out of 5 stars

Most helpful customer reviews

15 of 15 people found the following review helpful By Marshall on March 22 2008
Format: Hardcover
I am a man who normally does not read or enjoy reading "inspirational" or "relational" books. My wife is the reader in these areas and is very wise and self-developed in these areas. Unfortunately, I usually don't read the books she recommends. However, this book is different. I liked it. It hits home to my basic needs. I think many women don't realize the importance to men of unconditional respect as described in this book. I'd recommend it strongly to any husband and wife who want to deepen their relationship. If you are a wife who can't get your husband to read inspirational books, relational books or marriage books, you might be pleasantly surprised to find him reading along with you and discussing this book with you.
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10 of 10 people found the following review helpful By dark_phoenix on Dec 7 2009
Format: Hardcover
Two years ago, before I was married, I read this same book by Dr. Eggerich. At the time, I thought 'well, this sounds reasonable', and continued along my merry way after closing the front cover. I remember now that, at the time I'd picked the book up at the store, a woman mentioned to me 'this book saved my marriage, honestly... pay attention and you won't regret it'. Reading it through for a second time, after being married for a year and a half? Dr. Eggerich has it right.

Women need love, and men need respect. Both are mutually inclusive, because when a woman receives love she feels respected, and when a man is respected, it's a sign of love to him. Eliminate either love or respect, and couples start on what he terms 'the Crazy Cycle'. How do you stop the crazy cycle? It's all based on love and respect. Dr. Eggerich outlines what this means for both husbands and wives, what they can do to increase love and respect (and maintain it!), and how to prevent getting back on the Crazy Cycle in the future.

Whether you're dating, engaged, or married for any length of time, the Dr. speaks the truth... and it's worth a listen!
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9 of 10 people found the following review helpful By BM Welter on Sept. 27 2009
Format: Hardcover
Love and Respect, though seemingly just another self-help, pop-psychology book, offers a potentially ground-breaking view of marriage. Rather than calling for the typical sissification of the man by getting him to talk about his feelings and in general see things through a woman's eyes, Dr. Eggerichs asks women to see men differently as well. For once, an author does not assume that women's ways of doing things are normative and morally superior, and that men must conform.

Central to the argument, Eggerich asserts that men and women are not the same, and that the Bible's teachings on marriage are as valid as ever because it shows how men and women have different needs. While women are verbal beings in need of assurance that they are loved and safe, men are action-oriented, and would rather silently share an experience than talk about feelings. Men communicate through words, but more than that, through their actions.

Feminists have indoctrinated women to look down on men and not to understand men. They no longer meet their husband's deepest need, which is to feel respected. When they cut down their husband, he shuts off, and she feels unloved. In order to get that love, she becomes more rude and cutting so that he will be able to see just how desperately unloved she feels. This leads the husband to distance himself even more. Thus the couple has entered a vicious cycle.

For this cycle to be broken, wives need to respect their husbands unconditionally, even when they don't feel respect for their man. The husband must unconditionally love his wife, even when he doesn't feel it. This love and respect is actually not about feelings, but about responding to God's call.
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2 of 2 people found the following review helpful By Lightsight on Oct. 13 2009
Format: Hardcover
The idea of love and respect seems almost trivial but has an immense impact in more relationships than we even are aware of. The book is really useful in helping couples better understand each others language and to treat each other in a way that they deserve. Love & respect are fundamental to strong friendships, and its strange why marriage should be exempt and still expected to thrive. Overall, this book got me thinking about how so much damage and emotional pain occurs when we do things out of ignorance of such a simple concept. Disclaimer would be that there are certainly other factors involved that make or break relationships, but this is one that needs to be addressed.
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1 of 1 people found the following review helpful By Kyle W. Martin on Jan. 16 2010
Format: Hardcover
This marriage book is aimed at helping couples break free from their dysfunctional patterns and communication breakdowns. The book calls it 'the crazy cycle' when couples enter into a lose-lose argument with both parties left feeling confused and hurt. In order to breakout of this pattern, Eggerichs applies a biblical based framework for recognizing the needs of men and women. Man's biggest need according to Eggerichs is his need for respect and a woman's greatest need to be loved.

Now after reading the book, I have a better understanding of how I inadvertently trigger something in my wife, leaving her feeling like I'm withdrawing my love. And she too, had begun to be more aware when she stumbles into language that disrespects me and sends me running. Knowledge of how each of us operates based on language of love and respect can easily turn arguments around making them shorter in duration and less intense than before.

A while back my wife and I also attended a conference called Love and Respect put on by Dr. Emerson Eggerichs and his wife and it has made this book come more alive than perhaps it may have by simply reading it. The stories were helpful in this book, but having a real person in front of you sharing a personal story, as opposed to the story about 'Sarah' in the book, would make the experience and understanding of he topic more real. As it were, the books stories were helpful, but they were hard to totally identify with.

On the whole, I think my wife has benefited more from this book than I have. She is using words of respect that I really feel encouraged by. However, I've been left feeling still a little unclear of how to reframe my words of love towards her. Love is such an overly used word in our culture and it feels as if I'm left not knowing which words really hit home with her and which one's sound like a cheesy soap opera. This is my homework I guess to ask her when my words connect with her and when they don't.
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